


When The Lights Go Out

by moremoir



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-04-03 22:09:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 84,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14005878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moremoir/pseuds/moremoir
Summary: Tessa and Scott have been locked inside the Gadbois centre during a crazy snowstorm days before leaving to compete at their first world championship since announcing their comeback.





	1. Keys

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first and hopefully not last vm fic and im suppperrrr excited for you guys to read it. I hope you all love this story as much as I do. Apologies in advance for the angst.

March 21,2017 

We are 8 days out from Helsinki and the 2017 world championships. Four days until we leave and I feel so unprepared. No matter how hard we’ve worked or how well we’ve done this season I just feel like Scott and I aren’t ready, it's now an Olympic year and how we do at the world's next week is going to set us up for this coming Olympic season.  
It's do or die and Scott and I need to kill it. Gabi and Guillaume have been doing really well too, improving more and more each day. I can tell from the way the train how much they want this year to be monumental for them.

Scott and I were at the rink this morning at 6 until about 10:30, and after training, Scott said he really felt like he needed a nap so he went back to his condo and I went to the gym until just after lunch. Now i'm just sitting at home, watching our training tapes, consistently being underwhelmed by how our training is going. Something is missing from our programs. They are so artistically pleasing and technically spotless but I can just feel that something is off. Our spark is gone, the emotion conveyed on the ice just isn't as it used to be, and it needs to change. Also, our twizzles are a mess. 

With that I decide i'm going to go back to the rink tonight, it's only about 3pm and Gabi and Guillaume finish at 4:30, so I'll head over after dinner and get in some extra individual work in hopes that maybe if I am even better than great, it’ll give Scott and I an edge, even though our connection is most definitely off. 

5PM

Im getting my skating stuff together and munching on a protein bar and a smoothie when I glance outside and see how much of a wreck it is. Its mid March and there is still snow coming down like its January, guess i'll just have to drive extra slow to the rink. 

As I drive I realized I didn't even tell Scott I was going to the rink, I know I wanted this to be an individual thing but I can't imagine not training with him, even if we are a bit at odds. We are a team. 

On the other hand, maybe I just need some time to myself. And that's exactly what I decide on, I'm just gonna do this myself. 

The storm is really something, with the snow coming down and the crazy wind it takes me extra long to get the rink. Hopefully, my car won't be snowed in when I decide to leave. 

I park, walk into the rink and head to the change room. Gabi and Guillaume are long gone, it's just Patch and Marie-France left for the night. 

Once im laced up I walk over to Patch and Marie-France. 

“Hey guys!” I say.

“Tessa, darling what are you doing here? You do know you don't have to be back at the rink until 6am tomorrow, and it is certainly not 6am. Wheres Scott?” Marie asks. 

“Oh ya know, I just really wanted to get an extra skate tonight. I feel like I need it. I didn’t tell Scott I'm here, so it’ll just be me if you don't mind. I can lock up when I leave if you guys want to get going? You know I have my own set of keys" 

They both consider my offer and patch replies “well sure, we just have some last minute stuff to get sorted then the rink will be all yours.” 

I nod and head off to the ice. 

After warm ups, goofing around and not really being too productive, I hear a too familiar voice scare me half to death. 

“Hey kiddo, forget to tell a certain someone about a secret training session?” I can sense the annoyance and hint of sadness in his voice. 

“Oh Scott, hey. How did you know I was here?” I ask bashfully, trying not to meet his eyes. 

“Well I went over to your place to see if you wanted to get some dinner then maybe go over our plan for Helsinki, but to my surprise. You weren’t there, weren’t answering your phone so I decided to call patch and he led me right to you.” 

Damnit. I knew trying to sneak away from him wouldn’t be smart, but going over to my house and asking to get dinner? Hang out unannounced? That's new. 

“I'm sorry I just thought like I needed to pull something out of myself and I thought I should do it alone.” That came straight out of my ass and he knows it. 

Scott looks like I've punched him in the gut. I know I should’ve asked him to be here because we work through everything together and now i've randomly decided I can do it by myself. What was i thinking? Awkward silence drowns us. When Scott goes to finally say something, patch and Marie France tell us they are going to leave and will lock the doors from the outside so i'll have to use my keys to unlock the doors from the inside. 

We nod, say goodbye, hear the doors lock and then it's just us. 

Scott, who still looks at me with disbelief, puts his bag down and walk onto the ice in his shoes, wobbling over to me. 

“You don't get to do that” he says sternly, “you don't get to decide that you and only you need to improve. And you sure as hell don't decide you are going to do it alone. We are a team T. I dont care what the fuck is up with us right now, but we are gonna get through it and fix it, together.” He stares into my soul. It almost looks as if he might cry, i've seen him vulnerable before, many times, but this is different. I try to say something but I can't. I just nod pathetically and he pulls me into a hug. 

Its different than our usual hugs or gentle embraces, I feel him shake as he holds me and it's as if I let go I could break him into a thousand pieces. 

It's in this moment I realize how much he means to me. How badly I hurt him just because I snuck into the rink without him, he’s my second half. If he ever got taken away from me, im not sure i would be able to cope. 

He lets me go, taking a deep breath. Resting his hand on my shoulders, examining me with his eyes, every inch of me. He’s staring at me never like he has before. When our eyes meet, the world stops, or at least for me it does. I get lost in his beautiful, chocolate brown eyes. I could stare into them for forever and a day. 

Hes the first to detach our gaze and he slowly turns and wobbles back to the boards. 

There was something different about his eyes. They are usually so light and full of life, but it seems they are much darker, more serious..almost lust like. 

Was that lust in his eyes? Does he feel it too? Except I don't even know what im feeling, other than the fact I need him more than I need any other person on the planet. 

“Where are you going?” I question, he surely isn't just going to leave now and leave me on this emotional edge. 

“Well, we’re at the rink aren’t we. May as well get some practice in. Cant leave a pretty girl like you stranded without a partner” He turns around and winks. 

My heart flutters like it never has before and catches me off guard. What the hell what that. I'm so caught off guard, in fact, all I can blurt out is some sort of awkward laugh, then skate over to the boards behind him and watch as he gets ready to practice. We exchange glances and winks here and there, it feels nice, very organic. 

Once he’s almost done I skate away from him and start doing laps around the rink. I see him finally glide onto the ice and my heart stops. 

Has he always been this handsome? His muscles are restrained tightly through his shirt and his jaw is so defined, his hair is at the perfect length. Not too long but not too short. How have I never noticed this before? He’s come such a long way from the little obnoxious boy he used to be. 

When he reaches me and our hands connect its magic. 

Time flies by, we work on our twizzles, transition step sequences and some of our favourite lifts. I don't think either of us remembers a time that we had this much fun at training. Something clicked tonight and I don't ever want to get back to the place we were before this. 

When we decide to call it quits we check the time and see that we’ve been on the ice for over two hours, felt like 5 minutes though. It's about 8pm and we head to the change rooms, I use the shower first while Scott waits in patch and Marie Frances office, on the phone with Danny, as usual. 

I walk around the corner of the change room, dressed in a new pair of leggings and one of the Toronto maple leaf sweaters Scott left at my condo a while back. He doesn’t hear me coming and just as im about to walk into the office, I don't. 

“Danny, man you just gotta hear me out. I don't know what happened tonight, but something changed with Tess. Its like I've finally come to terms with everything.” He says excitedly 

Danny says something back, I obviously can't hear it. 

Scott's reply almost knocks me off my feet. 

"I have not been in love with her since I was 12, Danny. But I think I am now. No, no, no, I know am in love with her. She’s just so beautiful. Those gorgeous green eyes, her luscious long hair and how amazing of a person she is, Tess doesn’t deserve someone as mediocre as me. She deserves someone so much better.” 

Do I love him? How could I not, but I just don't know. Its never been romantic since we 'dated' all those years ago. We've always been so close, the best of friends. Could I see us being anything other than that? 

Yes, 100%. 

I think I love him. I think I'm in love with Scott Moir. 

I've never really thought about him that way but now that he’s said it, something awakens inside me. Something I've tried to ignore ever since I was 7. 

But seriously, he loves me? But he also thinks I don't deserve him? How?? He is the greatest person I know if anything I don't deserve him because he deserves someone better. 

All my thoughts and feelings come crashing into me and as I decide to turn to walk into the office he ends the conversation. 

“Ok Danny, enough. I gotta shower and see if Tess is done. I'll call ya tomorrow and we can try and figure this out once and for all.” 

I turn around and sprint back into the bathroom, then walk out as if I haven’t just heard my best friend of 20 years just confess his love for me.

“Hey hey” he says as I walk out into the change room “nice sweater where did ya get it” he winks and smiles his boyish grin that i adore so, so much. 

“Funny,” I say. “Some weird guy left it at my house once so I decided to keep it” I flirt back, completely aware of how awkward I am. 

“Well I think it definitely looks better on you than it would on that weird guy” and he sweeps me into a hug, lifting me up just enough so my feet lightly swipe the ground. He puts me down and states he is going to shower and that he’ll be out in a few. 

While he’s in the shower I throw on my Nikes and prance around the Gadbois Centre. Happy as can be, waiting for Scott to finish showering so we can head out before the storm gets even worse. 

After what seems like forever he still hasn’t called out to me so I head back to the change room to see where he’s at. 

Yet again I've found myself in a position of seeing/hearing something I shouldn’t, all within 30 minutes. I gaze around the corner and see Scott, wrapped in a towel, excess water running down his torso. He is so well defined, and as far as i'm concerned, The sexiest man on the planet. I feel my face blush as I take him all in.

I don't want to get caught so I sit down outside the change room with all my stuff, waiting for him, so we can finally go and I can ponder my thoughts about him, without him being present. 

He comes out about 5 minutes later, bundled up with all his stuff in hand ready to go. 

“let's get going virtch, I know how much you hate digging out our your car from the snow.” 

I nod and walk over to the door, searching my bag for my keys to the rink. 

They aren’t here. I can't find them. I sense Scott is starting to wonder what's up and then it hits me. 

My rink keys are in the glovebox of my car. 

I always put them in my skating bag but I guess because I was so out of sorts this afternoon I forgot to grab them. 

“Uh, Scott,” I say. 

“What?” he asks, tense. 

“The keys to the rink, they are in my car.” I say and step away from him. 

“You're kidding.” He tries to joke

“I wish I was.” 

Then, as if fate wanted to screw us over even more, a loud BANG, then darkness.


	2. Lights Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While accepting the fact they aren't going anywhere anytime soon, Scott and Tessa take a minute to really explore their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooo chapter 2!! I'm gonna try to update at least once a week after chapter three is posted (its already done) because I am still in school and exams are coming up!

I don't think either of us realized what was happening until the lights didn't come back on.

We have no keys, are in the dark, no heat, no food and each other. 

How many ways and how fast could this whole thing go to shit. 

I'll tell ya, a lot of ways. And fucking fast. 

“Well shit.” Scott says and throws his bag on the ground. 

“Scott, I'm sorry I obviously didn't plan this.” This is going to escalate fast I just need to keep calm and try to keep him from exploding. 

“Why couldn’t we have left when Patch and Marie-France did. This is so stupid. You never forget your keys and on the one day in this entire lifetime we actually need them, you leave them in the car.” I hear the annoyance in his voice and the anger building up inside of him. 

“Scott come on we’re gonna be fine.” Trying to defuse the situation. 

“Why did you even come here today Tess? I just don't get it. I know we haven’t been all lovey lately but I didn't go rogue and all of the sudden decide I need extra training, and by myself for that matter.” He’s not just angry, he's hurt. And I think it's making him feel worse. 

“I don't know Scott. I just needed to clear my head, there is so much riding on Helsinki and I know how hard you’ve been working and I didn't want to drag you all the way out here because of my uncertainties. You didn't have to come. You chose too. You're the one who randomly showed up to my doorstep unannounced and decided to make it your business as to why I wasn’t there, when you ultimately have no control over what I do No matter how much you think so. I'm not your girlfriend and you cant control me, if you just minded your own business, you wouldn’t be in this mess.” I don't even realize I've said all that until I do. A look of pure rage washes across Scott's face and I think for sure I'm done for, then to my surprise. He just looks down. He slides down the wall across from me until he’s sitting. 

“Wow, I didnt realize how controlling I am. Also didn't realize that you feel so strongly about being so independent all of the sudden. I guess things really are changing around here, without anyone bothering to fill me in.” I can hear how hurt he is, but his words still tear me apart. Then he randomly laughs. A really low, disbelief type of laugh. "You're also telling me you'd rather be here alone? Are you kidding me, Tessa? That hurts" 

I feel the tears press against my eyes, wanting to be let go. But I refuse. “You 100% know that you're the only person I would ever want to be locked in this arena with, don't play stupid." 

He just nods, still looking at the floor. 

I know that arguing isn't going to get us anywhere. I hate arguing with him especially so this is even tougher to deal with. 

"I don't wanna argue anymore Scott. This is pointless, and I know both of us don't mean anything we just said.” While blinking back the tears I know I don't mean it. Any of it. All those horrible things about him being too controlling when he’s actually the complete opposite. He always makes sure I have my space and he’s always there when I need him to be. Him showing up at my place today was just a kind gesture, I should've appreciated it. Seems like we never get to spend our off ice time together and I know I would've had an amazing time. What is wrong with me. 

He doesn’t say anything, just keeps staring at the floor. Even though he thinks I cant see his face, I can, I can see the pain, the pain that I caused because I forgot my fucking keys. 

I walk away and try to wrap my head around what just happened. 

I'm trying to come up with something to say and eventually to try and distract us both from the fact that we are locked in this rink until further notice. So I walk away from Scott and try to think. Should I call patch? Should I confess my potential love to Scott even though I just tore him apart with my words? Should I find a Hammer and break the window to try and escape? Any idea would be better than these. 

I decide on calling patch before trying to tame the beast that is Scott Moir. 

I call, and of course, I have no signal. This is just marvellous. I need to say something to Scott asap or he’s gonna explode again for sure. I definitely don't want to have him sent to jail for killing me, but hey, he loves me right so why would he do that... 

As I walk back to him and turn to face him I notice he looks calm? He’s giving me the ‘what did you get us into kiddo’ look, but also with a hint of ‘im really over this whole arguing thing so I'm gonna come over and hug you’ as well. So I'm confused.

I speak first, trying to get everything out of the way, in hopes of gaining some pity. 

“Ok so, I tried to call patch and we have no signal. I'm sorry for forgetting my keys in my car. I'm sorry that I unintentionally dragged you all the way to some training, not training session that I fully well know you would have rather not been at. I'm also sorry for saying all those horrible things that are completely untrue. I don't know what I would do without you, Scott Moir.” Not the typical ‘i love u’ but its there, I just hope he caught it because I know he feels it too. 

He stands up from the wall, strides over, grabs me, pulls me into him and whispers, his lips just grazing my ear “its ok t, I'm sorry too. For everything that I said. I didn't mean it. And don't worry, we’re gonna get out of here, one way or another. Together.” 

I thought I was going to get some confession of love (hoped, not thought) but I guess knowing we’ve got each other, as always is just as nice. 

“Well T, it seems like we’re gonna be here for a while, so we may as well have some fun and get comfortable.” He lets out a big sigh and smiles, relieved that we are no longer arguing. I do the same.

We hate it when we argue, it just feels wrong. 

That's another thing I love about Scott, his ability to let go of what just happened and focus on not having a horrible time here and maybe make some memories, instead of focusing on the fact we just blew each other's heads off 10 minutes before. 

I nod and follow him. We each have flashlights on our phones and we find some more in Marie- France and Patch’s office, along with some blankets and a sleeping bag. 

We walk toward the change room and set up a makeshift bed. I mean it's not like we haven’t shared a bed before; when we were just too tired to make it to our own hotel rooms after an intense day of competition, when Scott or I has had too much to drink and the other refuses to crash on the couch. This isn't weird, but maybe after what I overheard earlier, this makeshift bed actually means something. 

Seeing his figure waltz around in the dark, I think back to all of our old memories. The good and the bad. That time that I wrote down that I wanted to go to the Olympics with Danny instead of Scott and he found out and apparently cried for two days-information courtesy of alma, when he was such an ass throughout our teens but would always be the first person I ran too whenever I needed anything and he was always there, without hesitation. Even when he got distant after my first surgery. Through the good and the bad, we still made it here, on our way to our third Olympics with programs that will eventually rock the skating world. Together. 

“Ok T, its finished.” Scott looks up at me with a childish grin 

“Well, Mr Moir I have to say I am awfully impressed.” I smile back   
He looks at me, and even with the shitty light from our dimly lit flashlights, I can tell just how happy he is. Even though we are still, locked in an arena, with no food and nothing but ourselves to keep company. 

Now that he’s made our bed, I'm not really sure what to do next, it's late. Not 100% sure of the time but its got to be passed 10. I'm not ready to go to bed an accept our fate to wake up and have us go back to being passive aggressive and only nice to each other when we feel like it. I wanna use this precious time we have together tonight to really make a difference in our relationship. 

So, I walk up to him, just inches between us. I move in closer, looking him dead in the eyes and just as I'm about to go in for the kiss, I turn off my flashlight. I make a quick turn and off I go, he’s gonna have to catch me, just like when we were kids. 

I'm already out the door and headed to the ice before he even realizes what has happened. I hear him groan then come to terms with what he now has to do. 

“Tess? What the hell? Where did you go?” He laughs

I don't answer because I know he’ll find me straight away. 

I sneak onto the ice, with no skates on, and forget how wobbly I am. Doesn’t matter how good on the ice I am with blades, flat running shoes is a whole other challenge. I decide to hide in plain sight because I want Scott to find me, I want him to swoop me up into his arms and kiss me. I want him to be the person I spend the rest of my god damn life with. 

Over the span of lord knows how long since our argument ive really realized I love him. Wholeheartedly. Every inch of me craves his touch and presence. He's my kryptonite, no matter what he does, it hits me to the core, the effects my every move, he can make me weak in the knees with just one look. It's so overwhelmingly amazing. 

So I wobble all the way to centre ice, and sit down, in the sexiest position I can think of without freezing my ass off. 

“Tess? Tess? You better not be on the ice I am not going out there without skates on again” he says jokingly. We both know he would come out onto the ice to get me with no shoes on at all if he has the chance to touch me. He’s always been fond of my body, am I'm finally giving him the chance to claim it. 

And that's all I want. 

I see him standing at the opening to the ice and see him scan the rink until he lands on me. Using his shitty flashlight for some help. 

“You're a really bad hider” he yells across the ice. 

I just laugh and try to think of a way to make him come onto the ice and get me without totally sounding like I'm begging him too. 

I adjust my position so I'm sitting flat on my butt, criss-cross applesauce. 

“I win, I found you, off the ice now Tess.” 

“The games not over until you catch me” I flirt back. 

Was that seductive enough?? Too seductive?? God if there were lights on right now I would be screwed, I can feel how red my face is. 

“Comon virtch are you really gonna make me work this hard?” I hear the hope in his voice and I know he wants me to say yes. 

“Of course I'm going too, who do you think I am?” I laugh back. 

I see his silhouette step onto the ice, skate-less once again. He seems more steady this time, more confident. Coming to claim whats his, whether he wants too or not. 

I stand up as he’s about 15 feet away from me, and hold both of my hands out in front. When he grabs them I feel a bolt of electricity and warmth run through my body and down my spine, I know he got it too by the look on his face. 

“Looks like we have a winner” I say, looking into his eyes. Just being able to make out his handsome features thanks to the dimly lit emergency lights. 

“I've been a winner since the first day I held your hand Tess.” My heart flutters. 

As he says this, he pulls me into him, close enough to feel each other's breath on our skin. We immediately sync our breathing and heart rates, it's just something that happens naturally, but it feels so much more powerful this time. 

He has one hand holding me into him on the small of my back, and the other starts to run through my hair, slowly down the side of my face then down my shoulder and arm, taking in every inch of my skin like he needs to memorize what I look and feel like as if he may forget. He finishes caressing my body and his hand lands softly on my hip. I inhale sharply. His touch makes me feel so alive and I instinctively look away. 

One of his hands leaves my hip and makes its way up to my face, pulling it to face him. 

"look at me" he says. 

As soon as he says that, i look up and we lock eyes. Neither of us has says anything. Im holding onto him for dear life and never want to let go. We both feel the powerful energy radiating between us as we search each other's eyes, I can see the intensity in who he is and how he feels every moment of his life, its as if I'm getting a front row seat to the true Scott Moir. I've never been lost in such beautiful brown eyes and I know ill never get lost in anyone else’s the same way ever again. 

“Tess” he whispers, barely audible. He’s tense, scared for what is going to come next. Breaking the connection.

“mhmm” I hum back at him, keeping his eyes glued to mine. Trying to comfort him.

He doesn’t say anything back, but I know what he’s saying, even if not verbally, but through our embrace. 

So I adjust my right hand from holding onto his left shoulder, keeping my right arm wrapped tightly around his waist, and run my hand through his hair, holding onto it slightly. 

Did i say how much I love how his hair is right now? Because I LOVE it. Long enough to wrap my fingers in but short enough so he doesn't look like some grease ball. 

The lights are still out, its freezing cold and ill I can think about is Scott Moir’s lips being on mine and how deeply in love I am with him. So I make the move.

I tighten my grip on him and close the gap, finally connecting us. I kiss him softly at first, then with everything in me, he gasps a little, almost pulling back, doesn't (thankfully), then kisses me back with just as much passion. 

It feels as if we have been standing at centre ice for a lifetime, our lips exploring each other's bodies, down our necks and onto our shoulders collarbones, any visible chest area. His hands move up and under my shirt to cup my breasts, I feel under his shirt, taking in his muscular body, tracing out his muscles with my free hand while my other plays with his hair. 

Its electric and hot and exactly what I've been waiting for, without even realizing it. 

“i think its time to take this off ice, Mr Moir. “ I whisper and bite my lip, smiling cheekily. 

He just nods as I pull away. We wobble towards the exit, trying to keep the energy intense and sexy and stable as possible. I'm leading, only a pace or two ahead our hands interlocked, but I can feel his eyes on me, burning through my skin, taking in every curve and edge of my clothed body. I just know he has a smirk on his face, proud of himself almost, for letting go and finally admitting to me, without words, that he loves me. 

The second both of us are on solid ground we jump each other, collide into one another like magnets, unable to pull apart, bound by our undeniable connection. 

As we continue to progress towards the change room in hopes of making it to the ‘bed’, I pause. Pulling back, both of us breathing hard. Even though I want nothing more than to rip his clothes off right now, I want to, no I need to take in the moment, really make it last. 

Just as Scott is about to say something I jump up on him, wrapping my legs around his waist.

“No talking,” I say, as he grasps my thighs and pulls me closer, not breaking our kiss. 

He’s had enough of this, I can tell by how aggressive and passionate his movements are, he is so over me being in charge and taking things slowly. He’s ready to take the lead, take me. This is a quality of Scotts I live for, I love seeing him take charge, on and off the ice apparently. 

We finally reach the change room door, I'm still wrapped around his waist, wanting to stay like this forever, but if anything is going to progress, I need to be put down. So I slide off of him, slowly, making sure to glide over groin area, causing him to moan out my name, gritting it through his teeth. He may think he’s in charge, but as of now. I hold all the power. 

I spin around, back to him. slowly walking toward the bed, making sure to accentuate the movement of my hips, making sure Scott is lost in the Moment, completely focused on me. As I get closer to the bed, I know Scott cant see me the farther away I get because of how shitty the emergency lights are, so I start to play with his other senses. 

I hear him start to move towards, me, feeling the heat radiating off of him. But as he’s about to grab me I put my hand out. 

“Stop,” I say, barely a whisper. 

“You're killin’ me Tess, I need you so bad” I see him bite his lower lip every so slightly, sending me over the edge. 

“Just be patient, Scotty” I wink, then move my hand down his chest and stop just above his the waistband of his sweats. “ It's gonna be a long night.”

I start to unzip my sweater, slowly, toying with Scott with how seductively annoying I am being at the moment. I've never been one to initiate much physical contact with Scott, that's always been his department. I've always been so grateful for how touchy he is. It grounds me, helps me stay focused and calm. But now that we’re alone, locked in this stupid rink, I may as well try something new, in hopes of paying him back somehow for everything he’s done to keep me so protected and strong. 

After I finish unzipping my sweater, I let it drop to the ground with a small thud, feeling an instant rush of cold air on my skin, heightening my senses even more. I then reach for the hem of Scotts hoodie, pulling it up and over his head. We haven’t kissed since I left him in the doorway, I can see him pinning for me, my touch, my affection. So I oblige, lightly touching our lips together, refusing to give into all my temptation. Scott however, is more than over this sexual standoff game and pulls me in, picking up right where we left off. 

Our next moments are a blur, all of the sudden, we are literally ripping at each other's clothes, pieces falling off of us faster than we can process. It's his shirt, then my pants, my shirt, his pants and all of the sudden we are standing there, in front of each other, so vulnerable, open and ready for whatever is to come next. Sure we’ve seen each other half naked before, I've had some pretty scandalous dresses and I've seen him shirtless a million times, but this, it's different. 

He takes a step towards me, running his hands slowly making their way from the tops of my shoulders and won my arms to rest on my hands. Our electric energy, as strong as ever. 

He looks up at me, “Tessa, I love you” and our eyes meet. 

“Scott, I love you too.” 

He grabs my hand, leading me over to the bed. He picks me up, spins me around, planting soft kisses on my lips and my neck. He puts me down, then ushers me to lay on the bed. 

Lying there I suddenly feel so self conscious, a wave of fear washes over me and I suddenly feel like I should put all my clothes back on and forget any of this happened, but something in me stops myself, and I just allow myself to lay there, as Scott stand above me, taking in every last inch of my body. 

He then kneels down, making his way over to me. I subconsciously open my legs, allowing his torso to slide up and onto mine, his lips making their way from my bellybutton, up my chest, in between my breasts, increasing and decreasing the intensity with each spot he claims as his own, one hand massaging one of my breasts, the other in my hair. He nibbles on my collarbone, sending chills down my spine. 

When he eventually reaches my mouth, his one hand transfers from my hair to behind my back, unbuckling my bra, slowly removing it, being so cautious and light with every advancing move. He wants this to be as special as I do. After he removes my bra, his lips make their way back down my torso, then progressing to my inner thighs, planting soft kisses all over. 

Then as if all of the sudden, my last piece of clothing ends up o the floor beside us, and his head replaces what used to be. He’s awfully talented in the art of pleasure, that's for sure. He knows exactly what to do, how to do it and when. I'm gripping the covers, trying not to squirm so much, letting faint moans and sighs of pleasure leave my mouth. Every so often muttering his name and expressing how much I adore him. Once I feel myself on the edge of what is going to be the greatest orgasm ever, my back arches, and I release all the tension in my body, giving all of myself to him in this moment. “oh Scotty” I say as I am thrown over the edge, arching my back releasing all the tension in my body, “that was amazing.” 

“Anything for you, baby,” he says so seductively my heart stops. He makes his way back up and I find himself on top of me. We slowly begin to move our hips together against the thin fabric of his boxers as we resume making out, so hot and heavy, his bulge so prominent. My hands are exploring everywhere, every part of him needs to be touched. With that, my hands make their way down his back, slowly, eventually making it to the top of his boxers. With one swift push, they’re off and join the other pile of clothes on the floor. 

“I'm ready, Scott” I whisper, between kisses. I feel him smile against my neck, nodding. In a matter of seconds, I feel him push into me, sending a shockwave through my body. Its nothing like I've ever felt before; so intimate. We are so connected, each movement more passionate than the last, leaving both of us wanting more, again and again. 

My hands and mouth travel all over him, I'm taking my time and focus on different areas of his body, a spot on his collarbone, making sure to leave a mark, a memory of this special experience. I leave more than one on his neck along with scratches on his back. He does the same to me, marking me with his lips. I'm grateful for every movement and second we have together right now. Nothing else matters other than us two. Best friends, turned lovers, making love in an ice rink of all places. 

How ironic. 

“You are so beautiful” he moans, "all mine”. His sweet talk is doing a number on both of us and I can feel myself ready to burst again and him getting to the edge, our rhythm slowing, but just as effective, if not more. 

We lose it together, finishing at the same time, always in sync. 

He finally relaxes, after a few moments of strictly heavy breathing and the sounds of our heartbeats. He rests his head on my chest, letting his torso come with him. Our legs intertwine, his arms around my waist, one of my hands plays with his hair and caresses his face while the other hold onto his arm, tightly. 

“I love you so much” I whisper, breaking the silence. 

He lifts his head, our eyes meet, once again lost in each others gazes, “you are the most outstanding woman I have ever met. Thank you for letting me in, thank you for letting me love you, thank you for absolutely everything Tess.” 

I lean in and we exchange one last passionate kiss before both of us are overcome with exhaustion, falling asleep wrapped up in each other, completely and utterly, in love. At least for right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter made me emotional and I'm the one who wrote it


	3. Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the best night of thier lives, will things stay the same? Or is everything ruined, emotions run high as they are still locked in the Gadbois centre, 3 days away from leaving to go to Helskini.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy my friends, some angst here but hey, angst can be fun right?

When I wake up, its still dark, not pitch black anymore as the sun is starting to rise, illuminating the arena through the windows. 

Scott, still fast asleep, arms wrapped tightly around my waist. I try and wiggle out of his hold, eventually removing myself and replacing my warm body with a blanket. He hasn’t moved an inch. I move his wild hair to the side, slowly stroking his face, making sure to keep him asleep. He smiles slightly but continues to slumber. 

I completely forget I’m not wearing any clothes until I feel the ice cold air from the rink hit my skin. I grab my underwear, Scotts sweater and my leggings and throw them on, immediately warming me up. I proceed to then gather up the rest of our clothes that are scattered all over the change room and fold them neatly, placing Scott's stuff beside him for when he wakes up. 

I leave the room and start to try and find a clock. Both of our phones are dead, and because the power is still out, the hockey scoreboards are no longer broadcasting what time it is. I find myself in Mare-France and Patch’s office and find a watch in one of the desk drawers, 7:32 am. 

I'm surprised because Scott and I would’ve already had to be here by now because our training starts at 6, but I guess because of the storm, it's too unsafe to travel. I shrug and walk up to the doors, hoping they will be magically unlocked. I am, to no surprise, let down. They are still locked. I gaze outside and it looks as if Montreal has been painted white, I can barely see mine and Scott's cars because of how much snow there is. 

“Jesus” I mutter. 

With that, I am hit back with the realization that Scott and I will still be stuck here, for an unidentified amount of time. Also, that I'm starving. I haven’t eaten since 4 pm yesterday and after the events of last night, I'm really needing some fuel. Patch probably has some snacks in the office so I make my way back there, stopping by the change room to still see Scott cuddled up in the blankets, so peaceful. 

I just stand there, in the door, for a few moments. Reflecting on everything that happened last night, from the fight to the makeup to us finally exposing our love for each other and we can't forget the SEX oh my god. So much to think about, but there is one overwhelming thought. 

He's mine, finally I don't have to share him with some girl I know is gonna leave him or become too jealous or become bored of Scott always being in the spotlight with no time for her. 

Scott Patrick Moir is all mine. I almost squeal just thinking about it. 

I walk away from the door, afraid I'm gonna burst into tears or start yelling about I love him so much. Eventually, I find a couple of protein bars, a few packages of crackers and what seems to be a new fresh banana in the office. Breakfast is served! As I walk back to wake up Scott, a little extra spring in my step, I'm suddenly grabbed out of nowhere and forced into an embrace. For a split second I freak out and think THIS is the time someone comes to kill me, but then I realize, after being held for a moment or two, that the strong arms wrapped around me, are attached to the love of my life. 

“Think you could sneak away and have me NOT notice” he winks, “I'm disappointed virtch, you're losing your touch" he says with an exaggerated frown. I just giggle back at him and his frown is immediately erased by his beautiful grin. He looks pretty groggy still so im guessing he only woke up moments earlier, his voice is rough and a little deeper than usual, but im not complaining. 

“Thought id get us breakfast” I laugh, and tighten my grip around his waist.

“Wow tess, you’ve outdone yourself” he says as he lets me go and takes a look at the snacks in my hand. “These look great” and he plants a kiss on my cheek, I feel myself blush as he turns away to walk back into the change room. 

We eat breakfast in peaceful silence, exchanging glances every now and then, when we find each others eyes its like the world stops, time is frozen and its just us. Then I continue to eat my half of the banana because lord knows I could get lost in his eyes for forever and a day. 

“so, T” he breaks the silence “Whats the game plan. How are we going to get from in here, to out there, alert our parents and the world that we aren’t dead?” 

“That's a good question and I'm not sure I have the answer at this Moment. I think the best thing we can do is wait for the lights to come back on. So we can charge our phones, I saw an extra charger in the office while I was food searching” 

“Sounds like a good plan to me kiddo” he nods “until then, you're going to need to scoot over to me because I'm cold and the only possible way I am going to be warmed up is if you, my dear Tessa, are in my arms.” He adds a wink at the end and I swear it kills me. 

The “I'm dead I'm dead I survived but I'm dead” meme plays over in my head, because its true. He kills me and keeps me alive every day. Especially when he looks at me, so loving, and genuinely as if I'm the only person on the planet. It makes me feel so good. 

So I scoot over to him, he immediately wraps me up in his embrace, holding me tighter than usual, as if I might break if he were to let go. I'm not really sure why but I don't ask, this is too good of a moment. I let my head fall onto his shoulder and wrap our legs together, to maximize body heat distribution of course. 

We just sit, enjoying each others company, I'm pretty sure Scott has dozed off but I'm too infatuated with being held by him to care. I trace random shapes and words on his chest, watching it slowly rise and fall with every breath. I'm so calm, so relaxed that I drift off to sleep just as easy as he did. 

We are woken up by a giant surge of energy, it sounds like the building Is coming alive, every single light in the place turns on, all the heaters, the scoreboard, everything. 

“Oh my god!” I yell and jump out of Scotts grasp 

“The lights are on! We aren’t gonna die in here T!” He stands up and twirls me around “we are gonna make it!” 

I laugh at him over excited-ness but I agree, we were needing the power to come back on because we probably would’ve died of hypothermia eventually. 

The first thing we do is plug my phone into the charger in the wall and use the spare phone in the office to call patch 

“Hello?” A confused patch answers the phone 

Scott has the phone on speaker so we can both talk.

“PATCH” we both yell “ITS US!! WE GOT LOCKED IN THE ARENA AND HAVE BEEN HERE FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG AND TESSA FORGOT HER KEYS AND WE ARE GONNA FREEZE TO DEATH PLEASE COME AND OPEN THE DOORS” Scott exclaims 

We think the line went dead because of the radio silence

“Patch?” I ask “you there?” 

Then all of the sudden patch starts freaking out about how he and Marie-France thought we had died driving home from the storm because no one had heard from us in so long, our parents are worried sick and the Montreal police department was notified of us being missing and that the twitter-verse has literally lost their mind over the fact that Canadas sweethearts are missing. All in just over 15 hours. 

They said they didn't freak out too much last night, but when patch called both of us to cancel training this morning at 5 am because of the storm, that's when they realized that neither one of them or our parents heard from us last night. Then, pure chaos. 

Patch, Marie-France, Scott and I hatch a plan to get us out, but it is going to take a while. First things first, we are going to call our parents and explain everything that happened last night, well almost everything, then patch is going to call the Montreal police department and explain to them what happened, and then, once the roads are clear enough to drive, patch and Marie-France will come to our rescue with hot food and keys.

Right after we got off the phone with patch we call our parents and tell them we are ok. They are so relieved. 

“Thank god, eh?” Scott says, sighing. “ I can't wait to get back home and shower and sleep and forget this whole thing ever happened” 

I don't say anything back 

I just stare at him instead, Taken aback by his words.I don't think he realizes how hurtful what he just said is. Its taken some of the air out of my lungs and I almost fall over. Scott sees this and grabs my waist. 

“Are you ok? You’ve gone really white. Why don't you sit down?” 

I just nod but I pull away from his grasp and slide down the wall until my butt hits the floor. I've had the time of my life these past hours and I don't want to forget it all happened and go back to being Tessa Virtue, Scott Moir's ice dance partner. I want to be the Tessa virtue that can broadcast how much she is in love with Scott Moir, but also is his ice dance partner. I want to go to worlds and have the skate of our lives and take home the gold. I don't just wanna be two platonic business partners who look madly in love. I want to be ‘the ice dance couple that has taken over the world with their love for each other and ice dancing’. 

I know he said he loves me, and I believe him. I just am not sure how it's going to translate off ice, when we aren’t locked in an arena, forced to talk to each other and confess our feelings. Especially with the amount of press surrounding us and our first worlds since being back in the game. 

I stand up and walk away from Scott and hate that my mood has changed so fast. I just get so inside my head. I can't even believe I'm feeling so many doubts about our love for each other after last night. It's all I've ever wanted but I just can't seem to let go of all these insecurities. His “I can't wait to get back home and shower and sleep and forget this whole thing ever happened” quote keeps replaying through my mind over and over and I want to burst into tears.

I turn around to see if he’s following me and he’s not, still standing in the spot he grabbed me in. He’s staring at his feet like when he used too after marina would criticize him for something he did perfectly. I still think to this day she criticized us just to knock us down, hoping we wouldn’t get back up and keep competing against Meryl and Charlie. 

He looks so small, staring down at his feet, wondering what to do next. Then he looks us and catches my eyes with his, I may be a fair distance away, but he’s still got me held captive in his gaze. He’s searching my eyes, for an answer. I can tell by the way he tilts his head slightly to the left, deep in thought. 

Instead of letting him find the answer I pull my head away and keep on walking toward the other end of the Gadbois centre. I'm looking for a spot to sit so when Scott has enough of my games he won't be able to find me right away. I just need a moment to collect my thoughts and figure out whether I should ask him what he meant by the comment, or just drop it all together and jump his bones again. 

I find a spot behind a wall, a nice litter corner, made for sulking. 

Once I find the ground, I feel so empty, so tired and emotionally spent. I don't realize I'm crying until the tightness in my chest increases and I'm at a loss for air. The only thing I want right now is for Scott to come and hold me and tell me everything he said was a joke and we can go back to our makeshift bed and talk about everything and nothing. 

He’s the one who’s made me so upset, isn't that a joke. How I want so badly the person who made me feel this way to come and make me feel better.

I guess that's how screwed up he's got me hey. 

I let the tears run, I've been holding all my emotions in for so long, since Sochi I feel like. I don't know if I ever properly grieved the silver from Sochi, the loss of a coach that chose Meryl and Charlie over us, my second surgery, being locked in this fucking arena with the love of my life paired with all the emotions I have for Scott and how I always absorb everything he’s feeling. Don't even get me started on the pressure for us to come out guns blazing and to demolish the competition and go to Korea in 2018 and take back whats rightfully ours. 

It's just all so much. 

I didn't think I was crying too hard until I hear myself sobbing. Everything has just come crashing down on me. What if I'm too broken to continue with the comeback and not able to make it to Korea. It would crush Scott. 

I think that makes me cry harder. 

Then, as if some god up in the Gadbois centre rafters has been listening to me have a pity party for myself, there are suddenly two undeniably strong arms wrapped around me-again. 100 bucks said he followed me after i turned around and had been standing behind the wall the whole time and finally decided he’d had enough of watching / listening to me suffer. 

I gasp and instantly grip onto his arms like my life depends on it. I lean into his chest and listen to his heart, beating so fast I think it might jump out of him. I think I feel a drop of water on my temple but I could be hallucinating, no way Scott is crying too. I'm too consumed with my emotions to check. 

After a few minutes, I stop sobbing and my breathing regulates with his, Scott's heart is no longer going 400 miles an hour and we just sit against the wall, our grip on each other still as strong as it was the first second he pulled me in. 

I'm not sure how to start the conversation, but as I'm just about to open my mouth and say something, Scott beats me too it.

“Tess” he says, barely a whisper. “Talk to me, please” I can hear the pleading in his voice, he’s so confused and caught off guard. I'm so horrible. 

“i-i don't know what to say Scotty.” I reply, hoping he will just drop it and continue to hold me until mf and patch arrive. 

“Well, you’ve gotta say something because I'm worried sick about you right now.” His voice is shaky and he’s trying to hide it but he cant, he’s just as nervous about my answer as I am. 

“its just everything” I start. “Sochi, the comeback, you, whatever this is, the pressure. It's all too much for me, I'm not strong like you, I cant handle it all.”

His grip loosens on my waist for a second, then he has me in closer and tighter than before. It's his protective side, even though we are the only ones here.

“What do you mean us, Tess?” He questions “I thought last night kinda started something, and it's all I want. You, the comeback, Korea” he tailors off. “Its always been about getting you, Tess. Always.” 

It makes my heart race and I can feel the tears coming back.

I'm about to ruin this moment but I have to know. 

“Are you sure? Because its ok. If last night was some trial or something I get it. But if we are gonna do this, both of us have to be all in. No half-ass relationship or something we keep only between the two of us. And after what you said earlier about wanting to go back home and forget this all happened, I don't know what to think.”

I swear his heart stops. 

I sit up from leaning on his chest and look at him for the first time since my little breakdown. His face, plastered with sadness and regret. I can tell he didn't realize what an impact his comment about wanting to forget everything had on me until now. 

“Tess” he pauses. “I'm so sorry. Last night, last night was the best night of my life. When I said I wanted to forget about everything, I meant the being locked in a cold arena with no food and no extra clothes. Being with you was the greatest thing I could’ve ever imagined and I never want to forget that as long as I live. Everything I said about being so in love with you is completely true. I've wanted to be with you since the moment I laid eyes on you when I was nine. No other girl I've ever dated has even come close to you. You're the only one for me. I'll shout it out to the whole world If I have too, as long as I have you I don't care about anything else and I'm so sorry I haven’t made it more clear. I'm such an ass” 

I can see the hope in his eyes as a tear falls down his face.

I wipe it away with my thumb and he presses his head into my hand, begging for my touch. 

“Scotty, I love you so much” ugh he makes me soooo weak and vulnerable. 

Then its like in slow motion, he pulls me back into him with one hand, and cups my face with his other. I lean in, and the first time since last night, our lips meet. I can feel the need between both of us, begging for the closeness that has anchored our partnership the whole 19 years we’ve been together. Being able to ground each other is something we’ve become experts at, and right now, our bodies moving in synch, each kiss filled with more emotion than the last, we’re able to stabilize each other and bring both of us down back to earth, without missing a beat. 

Once we pull away for air, I wipe my eyes, still red and puffy from all the crying. Yet I have a smile plastered on my face and I don't think anything could take it away, no matter the circumstance. 

Scott looks the same, eyes not as puffy but he has a childish grin on and is sightly blushing as that kiss what hot. 

He then lets me go completely and stands up, then swoops me up bridal style and we- he walks us both back to our makeshift bed, kissing every step of the way. I play with his hair and let my lips travel down his neck and back to his mouth.

I was a little unsure if we were gonna make it to the bed not bed, but we did. 

My lips and hands continue to travel every inch of him as we move in sync once again, leaving slight bite marks every so often- my favourite one being on his collarbone, it looks so hot and I know its going to last for a while (wink). 

After we finish, with our clothes scattered all over the place and our bed destroyed I know I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Correction, as long as I'm with Scott, I don't care where I am. 

after an unknown amount of time, we hear my phone ring, we've already called our parents so we aren't sure who it is but I answer anyway. 

It was patch, he said the roads are finally clear and that he and Marie-France will be at the arena in an hour with Tim Hortons and shovels for our cars. 

after we get off the phone, Scott and I get into lightning mode, cleaning up our bed, refolding the blankets and putting our clothes back on. 

"Hey weird guy, here's your sweater" and I throw his maple leaf sweater back at him. 

"Hey weird girl, keep it." he winks and he throws it back at me and I slide it on over my head, a smile plastered on my face. 

When Patch and MF show up we are sitting on our bags, all bundled up and ready to get the frick outta here. 

As they open the door, Scott and I jump up, overjoyed and embrace patch and MF as soon as they are in the building. 

"Thank god you guys showed up! I for sure thought we were gonna die in here" Scott says

They laugh, obviously as happy to see us and we are to see them. 

"Well, we are glad we could come and save you from hypothermia and insanity" Mf laughs 

They each hand us a coffee and a muffin and Scott and I eat them so fast our stomachs hurt. 

"You know," patch says "Some people thought you ran off and eloped."

I choke on my coffee and Scott laughs nervously. 

Thankfully i start having a coughing fit and it distracts everyone from the awkward-vibe in the room. 

"Careful kiddo" scott says "No one is going to take it away from you." 

I smile and roll my eyes. "Hate to cut this reunion short but id really like to get home and actually get some rest for training tomorrow" I state.

"Oh yeah i agree" scott replies. 

Patch and Mf nod and hand us a shovel, so we can dig out Scott's car, we decide to leave mine here and deal with it tomorrow. 

We thank them again and they drive off, leaving us with a shovel and hopefully some dignity. 

Takes us about 30 minutes to dig out the car before we can even get into it. Then another 10 to warm it up. 

"Ill drop you off at home?" 

He phrases the statement as a question as if i could tell him no, and he will take me back to his condo and we can spend the rest of the day/ night together.

"I mean if you dont want to come back with me its ok i just know i have to pick you up in the morning anyway, because you know, your car is under 4 feet of snow." He says it so nervously, i love the effect i have on him.

"Yeah, take me home" i see his face drop. "I gotta get some clothes first then we can head back to our-your place i mean" I feel my face go red instantly. 

Without even looking at him i can tell i just made his whole life. He leans across to me from his seat and plants a kiss on my cheek, then proceeds to drive. 

The drive back is quiet, he drives with one hand on the wheel and i get to hold his other one. Its all we need, verbal communication isnt going to make this ride any better than it already is so we just enjoy the silence and each others presence. 

When we pull up to my place i jump out the car and i hear him yell "Youve got 5 minutes before the train leaves". 

I could take 5 hours and he would still be there. 

I take probably 7 minutes in gathering my stuff up, lord knows how long im going to be staying at scott's so i fill a duffle bag and head out the door. 

When i get back to the car he looks at me with a surprised look on his face. "How long ya staying virtch?" he laughs. 

"Havent decided yet." I smirk back as i throw my stuff my bag into the backseat and hop back into the front. 

He just smiles and rubs my leg after i sit down.

When we eventually park and start to make our way up to Scott's condo we hold hands as he carries our stuff. Yes all of our stuff. He insisted to carry my bags even though he has one of his own. 

"What a gentleman," i say

"Anything for you m'lady" he bows 

We both laugh and i grab his keys from his sweats pocket to open the door while simultaneously kissing him in the cheek. 

"Wow virtch i was afraid you had ultertior motives there" and winks 

I just shake my head and open the door. 

When we walk in, it feels like Scott. the atmosphere, the furniture, so comfortable and safe. I love it. Been so long since ive been here its almost nostalgic. I can tell that hes cleaned up the place and has actually taken my throw pillow idea to heart and got some. 

"Wow ive missed this place" i sigh, "so, so much." I spin on the balls of my feet to face him and open my arms for a hug. Im not really sure why but i feel like i really need one. After our crazy last 24 hours or so a hug is definitely necessary. Hes the only one i want one from. 

He smiles, not one of his boyish i just won a million dollars smile, its something much softer, almost a half smile but filled with such happiness. I can see it radiate throughout his eyes, he is beyond ecstatic that im here. 

He drops all the stuff at his feet and walks over to me and takes me into his arms. I breathe in his familiar scent and instantly feel relaxed, Scott's hugs can fix anything i swear. Our breathing synchs (as usual) and our hearts beat as one. Ive wrapped my arms so tightly around his waist its probably uncomfortable but he doesn't care. One of his hands is tangled in my hair and the other around my waist. This moment is so pure and real i could stay like this forever, but we don't. 

He pulls back and plants a soft kiss on my forehead, "what was that about? Everything ok T?" 

"Ive never been better Scotty, seriously."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going to try and update some time this week but again I have school so I'm going to aim for every Saturday!


	4. A Love That Travels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa and Scott embark on their journey to worlds, ready to take the competition by storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii! 
> 
> I am SO SORRY I haven't updated sooner, I'm in the middle of exams right now and am DROWNING. 
> 
> Anyway, this is more of a filler, but necessary chapter with lots of fluff, as there is a LOT of angst coming your way. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and leaving kudos and comments, means so much.

The past two days have been a whirlwind to say the absolute least. 

Scott and I have been running around like mad- in trying to get ready for Helsinki, our training has been crazy, we’ve had to push it into high gear because of the day and a half we missed because of you know, the snowstorm and such. 

Trying to pack, figuring out what variation of costume we want to wear for the programs, how many dresses I actually need to bring, what one hoodie of Scotts I'm going to allow myself to take because I would bring all of them if I could. 

There's also the fact Scott and I cant get enough of each other. Seriously, if people thought we were attached at the hip before then they obviously haven’t seen us admittedly in love. Every waking moment is filled with his presence- and i adore it. He is so amazing in every aspect . Every morning before training he wakes up a little before me so he can make a pot of coffee and have it done by the time im ready. Hes always the first one to fall asleep but always the last one to say goodnight. 

“Its my thing, Tess. The last words you should hear every night before you go to bed are I love you, not the sound of your own voice saying I love you to me.” 

When he said that to me, I cried. Not a little, but a whole lot. He freaked out, trying to apologize for making me so upset but in reality, I had never been happier. 

Its those little things that make me fall more and more in love with him every passing moment. 

Also the sex. What can I say, he’s amazing in every aspect of my life. 

———

The day has come to travel to Helsinki! 

I was woken up by a very Loud and excited Scott Moir this morning, he’s running around his home like a crazy person, humming, skipping and dancing around. 

“Scott” i say as I pull a pillow over my head.

“yes my dear Tessa” he says as he pokes his head through the door to our-his bedroom. 

“how can you be so happy at 4:30 in the morning?” I laugh as I start to come out of my sleepy state. 

“more like how can NOT be this happy at 4:30 in the morning, Tess, we’re going to worlds today !!!!!!” 

I nod “ I know scotty, we’re going to worlds” and I smile back at him. 

I jump out of bed and walk over to him, giving him a long, meaningful hug. I take in how this feels and how comfortable I am right now. When I pull back I plant a soft kiss on his cheek and turn away to go get ready. 

When I turn around to look at him, he’s got his hands on his chest, holding his heart and looks as if ive given him a million dollars. 

“what did I do to deserve you?” 

“not sure, im sure we’ll find out eventually though” and I wink back at him. 

The rest of the morning is spent getting our last minute things together and driving by my house to gather up the last of my stuff. Making sure we have our passports, tickets, phone charges, headphones and Canadian gear. 

Once we get to the airport everything happens really fast, we get through security, walk to our gate and are on the plane sitting in the air Canada seats in what seems like 5 minutes and dont really have time to process anything until we start to take off. 

Scott knows im not the biggest fan of planes, the taking off and landing have always made me a little nauseous. He usually just grabs my hand and waits until we are solid in the air and solid on the ground. Its different today though. Today he rests his hand on my thigh, rubbing circles gently with his thumb, settling me and giving me his reassuring touch in a completely different way, even more effective than the what seems like 400 other times he’s done it. I just stare at his hand and watch as his thumb moves back and forth. Im studying his hands, the strength displayed on the, all the little lines and wrinkles and the way they move so effortlessly over my Lululemon leggings. Like he’s done it a million times before. 

He notices and looks up, meeting our eyes. Theres a sense of comfort as I gaze into them, making me lose all thoughts of us being in a flying steel cylinder with wings. I can tell he wants to kiss me, take all my worries away. Him just being here though, is enough. 

Once we are steadily in the air, he stops rubbing soothing circles on my leg, instead just rests his hand there, as if its an arm rest. Im so thankful he doesn’t pull away. I just want to feel his touch all the time. The old Scott would let go of my hand by now and muttered: “T, just let me know when we’re going down and you can take my hand again.” 

Always protective and wanting to make sure im safe. He’s always been so considerate of my feelings and been so willing to help but This time though, it feels different. As if he’s not just doing it because he knows im afraid, but he’s doing it because he wants too, wants to make sure I feel steady and safe, not just going through the motions. I appreciate it so much. 

Im not sure how long into the flight its been, maybe about an hour and a half, but Scott and I have always been plane sleepers. We’ve always been conditioned to grab a nap when we can because the few days of competition are always so crazy and sleep is scarce, so we’ve always used our massively long flights to our advantage in trying to store energy for later. 

Scott usually falls asleep first- he could sleep anywhere so this is not a surprise. Im usually caught up in a book or watching a movie before I come to my senses and decide to get some sleep too. However today, he seems so awake, so ready to go like he’s been storing up energy for days and just cant turn his mind off. 

“you ok scotty?” I say as I rest my hand over top of his, which is still plastered to my thigh. 

“im more than ok tess, just extra excited I guess” he chuckles and squeezes my leg in a comforting manner. 

More than two-thirds of the plane is asleep already so it seems weird for us to be awake, we dont usually get more than an hour into a flight before passing out. 

“you should get some sleep babe” he whispers, knows I need it. 

I nod. Hes right, ive been so stressed for this trip my mind is wearing my body out, consumed with thoughts of failure, not living up to what we’ve set out to do. It inhibits me from ever turning off and just relaxing, takes me forever to fall asleep and once I do im restless, and woken up by nightmares. 

I had a really bad one about three days ago- *** Scott and I are skating our free dance at worlds, we finish and know it wasn’t clean. “Its the nerves” Scott keeps repeating in the kiss and cry to mf and patch, “we just couldn’t get them under control” but it isnt the nerves, it was me.

I was off on the twizzles and fumbled in and out of a few of the lifts. So unsteady on my skates for the first time in my life. I can feel the anger radiating through Scotts body, he’s trying not to show it but as ive known for years, his heart and emotions are always out in the open. He’s not rubbing my back as he usually does when I fuck up, he’s not reassuring me that we aren’t gonna loose to Gabi and Guillaume, he’s distant, so far, far away. Even though he’s sitting right beside me. Its so unnerving im gonna throw up and I just want him to tell me its going to be ok. 

He doesn’t- he doesn’t do anything as the scores and second place finish flash across the jumbotron. His hand falls away from my side. He leans forward, rubbing his hands through his hair and I hear him swear under his breath. Ive lost him in that moment and I know it, I feel it burn through my chest like wildfire, everything we’ve worked for this past year has all gone to shit. All because I couldn’t focus. 

We go through the medal ceremony with our press conference selves on display-smiling on the outside but broken on the inside, making it seem as if we’re happy that we just got a worlds second place. Truth is, we’re far from it. He doesn’t say a word to me the entire time. He doesn’t hold my hand in the way he usually does, strong and comforting. Instead its limp and just for show. Every passing second I can feel him pulling away more and more and my heart being slowly torn apart, piece by piece. 

When we get off the ice and are finally alone he explodes, quiet at first then he unravels into some monster, ive never seen him like this before, ever. 

“what was that tess?” He questions me as if he doesn’t already know the answer. I just look up at him, no words coming to mind as to what I should say, just silence. I know he’s gone, I know ive lost him, there is no coming back from this. We’re done. Its written across his face and we can see the pain in each other's eyes.

Thats when he breaks. 

“Im not doing this Tessa.Im not gonna let you sit there and pretend like you dont know what just happened out there. You fucked up. Admit it. You cost us what we’ve worked so hard for this past year. You threw it all away because you couldn’t focus for four minutes and thats pretty pathetic if you ask me. Im so embarrassed. We were supposed to win. Second is not good enough” and he storms out of the locker room with all his stuff in hand- including my heart. He’s gone, and im alone, the one person I love with every ounce of me has just walked out of my life.

The slam of the door behind him is what wakes me up. ****

I woke up sweating, sobbing and uncontrollably shaking. Scott is awake immediately after he realizes whats going on. I glanced at the clock and its 3:32am, the middle of the night. Scott turned on his lamp beside him and then turned to face me, still sobbing and shaking and sweating. 

“tess?” He questioned, so worried. He didn’t wait for an answer, just grabbed me, and pulled me onto his warm body, holding me so tight, trying to reassure me without even knowing whats wrong. It was probably at least fifteen minutes before I stop sobbing, sweating and shaking uncontrollably. He just sat there, holding me, stroking my hair with one hadn’t and rubbing my back with his other, while whispering little things like “shhh, tess its ok”, “its ok baby everything is going to be ok”, “i got you, im here, its ok. Youre safe” while I just lost it. 

Once I stopped freaking the fuck out, I told him everything. How we lost because of me, how he left me stranded in the locker room, how I knew we were done and couldn’t be salvaged, how I knew I wouldn’t be able to go on without him. 

I wasn’t looking at him while I said these things. But once i finished and fianlly did, his hands stopped moving, his grip on my body tightened, then he let go and grasped my face in his hands, forcing our eyes to meet. When he looked at me, I could see the tears threatening to spill over, he was slightly shaking as well and I could feel his pain, so I started to cry again because I know no matter how ridiculous it was, it could still possibly happen, I could break Scott Moir and he could walk out of my life like the past 18 years haven’t meant anything, olympic medals and all. 

Thats when he comes to the rescue, once again that night. “Tessa, listen to me ok.” He brought my eyes back to meet his. He soothed me with his words,“Im not going anywhere. Ever. Gold medals or not you’ve got me forever. Im not that guy and I never will be. We’re a team and I could never blame a loss on you. Youre absolutely perfect in every way tess, nothing could drive me away from you.” He looks for a response in my face and I just nod, he wipes my tears away with his thumb. 

“it just felt so real Scott, I was afraid I lost you.” I say, barely audible. 

“i know, baby, but im here.”

“i love you” I whisper “thank you.” 

He turned off the lamp, still with me on top of him and resettled us back in the bed so we could go back to sleep. I didnt let go of him the entire rest of the night and was so thankful that we didnt have training until 11 the next morning. 

I wouldn’t have made it through that night without him. 

“youre right, I should get some rest eh” I say as I grab a Blanket to wrap myself up in. Coming back to reality, after consuming myself with the thought of that horrible night. 

I pull up the armrest thats between us and lean across our row of seats to lay down, my legs spread out across two seats and my head on Scotts lap. I dont care that there is god knows how many other people around- they’re all asleep anyway. I just need to be close to him and need to have his protection while im asleep. After that night, sleeping has been so scary, he’s the only one to keep me from freaking out and bring me back to calm. So yeah, im gonna sleep with my head on his lap and dont give a fuck who sees. 

He obviously doesn’t care either as he just adjusts in his seat a little to make himself more comfortable, and rests his hand on my side, slowly moving in a soothing pattern, which I drift off to sleep feeling, finally at peace.

When I wake up, I have no idea what time it is, most of the people around us are still asleep, including Scott. His hand hasn’t left my side and he’s got his head perched up against his window with a blanket as his pillow. 

I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone, seems we’ve been in the plane about nine hours, so I figure ive slept about seven, maybe eight depending on when I actually fell asleep. We’ve only got around 2 hours left on the plane so ill just read a book or watch a movie until then, ive just gotten a full nights sleep so Im ready to go. I dont wanna wake up Scott but I really have to pee. 

I slowly pick up his hand off of my side and rest it on his stomach, he stirs a little but doesn’t wake up. I know as soon as my head loves his lap a rush of cold air is going to hit him and wake him up, so I unwrap myself from my blanket and quickly replace it where my head used to be and in one swift motion am standing up, and Scotts still asleep. 

I walk throughout the plane to the washroom, passing a few of our skater friends, Kaitlyn and Andrew, both asleep. Kaetlyn, awake and reading a book, she gives me a wave and a big smile, I cant help but smile and wave back. Then chiddy, hes asleep too. 

The plane is so quiet its calming, the light snores of people sleeping, slight whisper of the few people awake, and the dim lighting throughout the entire cabin, its relaxing. 

I make my way back to sleeping beauty after I go to the washroom. He looks so peaceful and handsome. He’s mine. 

When I sit down, I grab the hand I had once moved and take it it back to hold mine, I use one hadn’t to hold his and the other to trace funny shapes and words on his palm. I take this time to really take in his features, the outline of his jaw, the shape of his eyes while they’re closed and the little freckles all over his face that you can only see when you get really, really close. Everything in me wants to kiss him, jump his bones right here in our seats. Obviously, thats a pipe dream and wrong as we cant do anything until we decide to come out as a couple. 

So I settle for fiddling with his hand.

About an hour and a half later, the lights start to come back on. Im reading a book, one hand interlaced with Scotts under a blanket and the other holding my book upright. Too many people started to walk by earlier so I covered up our handhold and legs, making it seem as if we’re just sharing a blanket, not trying to hide our loving handhold. 

I decide its tie to wake Scott up, he should be fully awake and ready to go by the time we land so this should give him enough time to get his life together. 

“scotty” I whisper as I put down my book and run a hand through his hair. “Scotty wake up, we’re going to land soon.” 

He mumbles something but its too groggy for me to understand. I know he’s not going to wake up unless I give him something to wake up too. So I scan our section of the plane and it seems that the people behind and beside us are asleep, or focused on a movie or are facing away from us. 

So I lean in, letting my hand run through his hair again, slower, more sensual this time. I place my lips to his and kiss him softly. Then pull back, slowly, letting our lips linger on each other for a second or two longer. 

Once im completely sitting back in my seat, his eyes open wide, and im greeted with a smirk, the kind of smirk where he’s gotten what he’s wanted. He takes a look around himself then pulls me into him, this time a real, magnificent, love filled kiss that lasts longer than it probably should because people will start to notice eventually. 

He pulls away and brings me into a hug. “Morning baby, or night, or afternoon. I dont know” he laughs 

“Morning scotty.” I smile “We’re going to start going down in about 45 minutes so I thought I should wake you up, also I was getting tired of looking at your face and wanted to talk to you.”

“How could you ever get tired of this face?” He laughs 

“i could never, I just missed your voice.” I accidentally blush, he notices and kisses my temple. 

“you are the cutest, tess” 

———

Once we land, we’re ushered through the crowds of people waiting for all the Canadian figure skaters, shoved into the back of a black SUV with all our stuff and are transported to our top secret hotel (until it gets around where we are). 

Scott and I’s rooms are always right next door to each other at competitions, its a rule we have when we book the rooms. We need to be close in case one of us doesn’t wake up at our alarm, in case someone needs a coffee at 5am (aka I need coffee at 5am), or in case we need each other for something at the last second. 

This time around, however, the rule has been broken. When my mom booked our rooms, they said they would give us two rooms right next door. Somehow, the person in Helsinki, actually reserving our rooms, booked us 2 floors apart. By accident. 

We know it shouldn’t be a big deal, but it is. Its our rule and our routine and we’re used too it. 

We dont really get a say in the matter and have to deal with it. I take the room on the fifth floor and Scott takes the room on the third. Its going to be weird to have to travel through the hotel to see him and not be able to just march on in whenever. 

What a way to start the trip. 

We exchange keys, as usual. He has a key for mine, I have a key for his, just in case. 

What also sucks about this whole room fiasco is that we were planning on sleeping in the same room, so being right next door, no one would even notice. Now that we have to trek to each others rooms and hopefully go unnoticed, this is going to be a challenge. 

We walk to the elevator, just the two of us, get in the elevator, just the two of us. As soon as the door closes I dont know what comes over Scott, but all of the sudden im being pressed against the wall of the smallest elevator in the history of the world while apparently making out with the love of my life. I dont register whats happening at first, then I do. I kiss him back with as much emotion and power as he’s giving me. Its like a battle between the two of us, who’s more dominant, who’s in charge. Its so hot and sexy I could rip his clothes off right then and there. 

“i wanted to do that the entire plane ride you know” he says as he pulls back and rests his head on my shoulder. 

“me too” I pant. Then the elevator door dings and we’ve reached the third floor. 

“youve got to be kidding me” he sighs as he picks up his head off my shoulder and proceeds to look out the elevator door, like its a black hole. 

“just come up to my room once you're done unpacking” I wink “you've got a key, and we’re the only ones who actually know who’s supposed to be in what room” and I push him out of the elevator. 

He nods and mouths I love you as the door closes. 

Im still a little flustered by our elevator rendezvous when I get to my floor. Scott will probably be at the front door of my room in about 20 minutes so I can use that time to unpack and clean myself up a little. 

He shows up 14 minutes later, the only time he’s ever ahead of schedule. I bet myself that he walked into his room, took a pee, changed his sweater, then sat on his bed for 11 minutes. Now he’s here. 

He lets himself in as he always has, but he’s also gotta convince the other people he’s seen along the way that he’s going to HIS room, not mine. 

“oh honey, im home” he says as he closes the door behind him. I was in the midst of getting changed into some jogging shorts and one of his sweaters as he walked in so I currently stand in front of him wearing nothing more than a sports bra and a thong. 

“wow” he says “i didnt realize what the elevator incident did to ya tess” and winks

I laugh a little at his comment, “i was in the middle of getting changed, you just happened to walk in at the right time.” 

“and I am thankful I did” he says as he walks over, slowly unzipping his sweater and dropping it to the ground. 

Im thankful he walked in too. 

He takes his shirt off next, leaving him in his jeans and socks. He reaches me and a runs a hand from my upper thigh, until he reaches my shoulder, leaving behind goosebumps from where his hand just touched. “how can you be this beautiful after an eleven-hour flight” he says between neck kisses. 

“oh you know, im full of surprises” 

These past few days, whenever we have sex, it seems he’s always the one to initiate it. I know he probably doesn’t think much of it but I do. I want him to feel wanted by me, 100% of the time. He always makes me feel like the only person on the planet and I want him to feel the same because he deserves that. 

At this point, we would’ve already been naked and have moved to the bed by now. But for some reason, I cant get myself to move. Im just staring at his face. I do this sometimes when he’s not looking. He could be cleaning up from dinner, watching the Leafs game, on the phone with his mom. I like to observe his actions and study his body, how it moves off the ice. 

“Tess?” He questions, noticing my focus. 

I put a finger to his lips to silence him. He stays quiet. I run my hand softly around his features, his jawline, his nose, my thumb grazes over his lips. He looks at me curiously, like he’s trying to figure out what im thinking. He stays silent though, and I appreciate that. I just want him to let me have control of the moment. I dont need him questioning me or taking over. 

Scott likes to move fast and get to it when it comes to sex. He’s not one for foreplay or teasing, which is fine, but I like to see him struggle a bit, beg for me to let him inside, I usually give in and give him what he wants because lord knows I cant say no to him, especially when he’s naked and puts on display his greatest skill (its not skating ill tell you that much). It just feels like we haven’t had a chance to really make our sex count. Like I know it does, its amazing and he cares so much but I just haven’t gotten that butterfly feeling in my stomach since the first snowstorm. I want that feeling again, the need for each other. 

I move both of my hands down his torso, tracing his muscles as I go, until I reach the waistband of his jeans. I slowly move them down lower softly touching to where he seems to be already half ready for me. He takes in a quick breath as I move my hand around, increasing the amount of pressure by the second. 

He breaks the silence “ok, tess, youre going to have to stop that right now or this is going to be over long before it starts.” His voice squeaks a little at the beginning and I can tell he’s very thrown off. 

I just nod and remove my hand. I bring my hands back up to his face and hold it, staring into his eyes, trying to show how much I love him through our eyes. Just like how he did for me when I had my nightmare. I then go up onto my tiptoes and kiss him. Lightly at first, but I can feel his need for my lips, so I go in deeper, kissing him like I never have before. Every ounce of feeling I have towards him is poured into this kiss, our hands exploring each other like the first time. My hands are in his hair and his around my waist, one hand though, slowly moving down to grab my ass. 

I pull back and look down, bashfully almost and feel myself blush. Its a good thing only my one lamp is on or he would for sure be able to tell im as red as a tomato. I press my forehead into his chest, rising up and down slightly faster than normal, same with me. That kiss has caught us both a little of guard at how meaningful it was. I unbutton and unzip his jeans and let them fall to the floor. Its about time we get to the same level of almost nakedness. His black boxers are staring me straight in the face and I cant wait to treat him well tonight, ive been waiting a while to be able to make it all about him, as he always does for me. 

He reaches his hands up to the band of my sports bra and helps it over my head. Im always so shy in front of him at first, my hands immediately coming up to protect my chest from his sightline. 

“hey baby, youre so beautiful, no need to cover anything up.” I can feel that he means it and I feel a burning inside my stomach, he never fails to send me over the edge with his words. 

I remove my own underwear and place my hands back at his boxer band. “Let me take care of you, scotty.” It comes out a lot sexier than I had planned and it catches both of us off guard. He opens his mouth to say something, then closes and just nods. I take his hadn’t and lead him over to the bed. I sit him directly on the edge of the bed, enough room for me to straddle him still. 

I climb onto his lap, wrap my arms around his neck and have both of my legs on either side of his. He nuzzles his head into my shoulder and sighs, ive already got him wrapped around my little finger and I haven’t even done anything. 

I pick up his face with both my hands and lean in and kiss him, attempting to be as rough and hot and sexy as possible, not sure how well its working for my confidence levels but Scott seems to be into in so thats all that matters. 

I can feel him getting tenser under me, slightly moving his hips up to graze my thong hitting all the right places. I'm already wet and he can tell, instead of saying anything he just smiles mid-kiss and continues to let his hands roam my body. 

Hes got both of his wrapped around my waist and is starting to synch our grinding motion, he lets out a groan into my collarbone and its the hottest thing ive ever heard. He may be able to send me into a crazy whirlwind of emotions and feelings in bed but I can do just the same.

Its getting pretty heated now and I know its time to make my move. I take one leg off of the bed and then my other, keeping our lips locked until im solid on the ground and pull away. 

“woah woah woah where are you going” he asks, quietly, weakly pulling me back into him. 

“im not going anywhere.” I say as I voluntarily move closer to him, kissing him from his lips, down to his shoulders, making sure to leave a mark as I go. As I make my way down his torso my hands come back to the waistband of his boxers and slowly pull them away, he lets out a struggled “tessa..” And I smile, childlike because I have him right where I want him. 

Ive never been one to really love giving out bj’s, just something my past boyfriends always made it seem as if it was something I had to do, and arguing about it didnt make the situation any better, so I just did it. The rug burns and amount of hair ive probably lost over the years has never been worth it. Especially when nothing is reciprocated. 

With Scott though, he offers to go down on me. All the time. Never asks for anything in return, which has always seemed strange, but nothing about our us or our relationship has ever been normal, so I don’t know why I would expect him to all of the sudden be, especially with me. 

When I get down onto my knees, about to give Scott the full Tessa virtue experience- there is a knock on the mother fucking door. 

I jump up, throw Scott his pants-which hit him in the head and then a blanket, grab his shirt, throw it over my head, grab the shorts I was originally going to put on and run over to the door. Hopefully, my face isnt too flushed and I dont look like I was just about to give Scott a bj. 

When I open it, Marie-france stands outside, looking tired, as I assume her and patch haven’t slept since getting to the hotel. “Ah, Tessa, darling, so this is your room? Have you seen Scott?” 

“Hi! Marie-France! Yes, yes this is my room. Only my room, no one else’s. No I have not seen Scott but he’s probably sleeping in his room, not in anyone else room, but his own.” I try to smile but it probably looks more like a grimace or the ‘yes I love this gift thank you grandma’ smile. 

“oh-uh, okay then. When he wakes, will you tell him that you two must be at breakfast by 6 tomorrow morning?” She looks at me sideways as she says this, definitely noticing im not wearing my own shirt. 

I nod and quickly say as im shutting the door “goodbye! Sleep well, I will relay this important message!” 

She tries to say something else but the door is already closed. 

When I turn around to look back at scott, he’s got this look of utter disbelief and complete annoyance. “Well, T it was fun while it lasted.” He half-laughs, letting himself fall back onto the bed with a massive “ughhhhh”. 

I just snicker and climb into bed beside him. “You don’t have to leave you know” I say as I snake my arm around his chest and rest my head on his shoulder. 

“youre right, I dont have to so I wont. Wanna order a movie and some room service?” He asks, hopeful. 

I nod, he gets up, puts his pants back on, claims he’s going down to his room to get some things for the night and will be back soon. 

When he returns, ive already ordered the room service; some chocolate milk, pancakes and eggs because breakfast is hands down the best meal of the day, also helps that Scott and I are always in the mood for it. 

Hes changed into sweats and an old maple leafs sweater, looking like a giant grey blob. The cutest grey blob in the history of the world. 

I let him pick the movie, he picks The Proposal with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds, he’s such a rom-com fanatic and I love him for it. We eat our breakfast in peace and watch away, laughing at all of Ryans one-liners. 

Eventually, I can feel a wave of sleep being to wash over me, im still in his shirt and my jogging shorts, he’s still in his sweats, he ditched his shirt a while ago. I adjust myself so im comfortably nestled up against him, like two pieces of a puzzle fitting together perfectly as one and drift off to sleep. 

I hear him mutter “love you, T” and I try to reply, but im already overtaken by sleep and his presence, feeling 100% secure and safe and ready to kick ass at rehearsals tomorrow. 

As long as I have Scott with me, we will be able to conquer anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you liked it !!!! I hope to have another chapter up within a week, but again with exams, we'll have to see. 
> 
> stay tuned !!!


	5. Ice dancing and Hearts Breaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa and Scott compete at Worlds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO everyone !!! 
> 
> this chapter was really fun to write but it is MASSIVE so plan accordingly. 
> 
> finals are over on friday so i hope to potentially finish the fic before my summer semester starts! im thinking maybe 3-4 more chapters after this one? Im not promising anything, im just going to go with the story and see where it takes me. 
> 
> little shoutout to my girl liv-thanks for keeping me sane 
> 
> Enjoy!

Scotts alarm goes off at 4am, we know we dont have to be at breakfast until 6, but he needs to get back to his room before anyone is awake so know one knows he’s spent the night with me. 

Im still groggy when he starts to move, muttering what I assume is “its four already?” under his breath. He removes his arm from under me and gives it a shake, probably numb from being wrapped around me all night. I hear him stumble out of bed as he throws his sweater and sweatpants back on, then strides back over to me, plants a soft kiss on my forehead and says “love you tess, see you in a couple hours.” 

Then he’s out the door, and im back asleep before the door is even shut. 

———

My alarm goes off at 5:15am, I turn it off then reach for Scott. I know he’s not there, but my sleepy subconscious has apparently forgotten that and im immediately sad. Why couldn’t our rooms have been next door, then we could wake up together and our routine could be as normal. Instead, he’s most likely still asleep, in his cold bed, without me. 

I get dressed into some leggings and skate Canada jacket, put on some light makeup and tie my hair in a low pony, slide on my Nikes and head down for breakfast, 5:53 am. Always early, never late. 

When I get downstairs, even though its 5:57, I dont see anyone other than a Russian team and some guy wearing a black sweater and a Montreal Expos hat. Kinda looks like Scott's hat. 

Wait I kinda think its Scott. Is he early? Hes never been early to a 6am breakfast in his entire life. He usually strolls in at about 6:25, just as everyone is finishing up. 

Instead, he’s sitting down, drinking some coffee and eating a bagel with cream cheese and on his phone, probably checking scores from the latest hockey games.

I believe he feels my presence 100 feet away from him because thats the type of bond we have. Being able to tell when the other is near, its so weird but so amazing at the same time. 

He turns around and smiles so big when he finally sees me, the one that makes his eyes sparkle. I see him low key check me out, and giggle to myself a little. He is so precious. I make my way over to him maybe a little too quickly, a definite spring in my step, even at 6am.

He meets me halfway and scoops me up into a hug and twirls me around, planting a soft kiss on my neck. “Good morning beautiful,” he says.

He sets me down and I smile up at him “good morning Scotty” and I reach for him again, wanting to stay in his embrace just a little longer, before we have to go back to being ‘friends’ as no one but us knows that we are now (finally) together. 

I let him go just in time as patch, Marie-France, Gabi and gui all walk around the corner into the breakfast area about 20 seconds after I let go of Scott. I nod towards them, putting on my silent but deadly morning attitude, im 99% of the time grumpy in the mornings so this should be no different, except for the fact im madly in love and being anything but overjoyed all the time seems absurd. So fake tired and grumpy Tessa it is, no allowance for suspicion. 

Breakfast happens smoothly. I sit beside Scott and quietly drink my two cups of coffee and a croissant, his hand rests on my leg and its soothing, knowing that even though we now have to hide our love from our coaches, competitors, the media, the gesture is kind and reassuring. Almost as if saying ‘im here’. Keeps me at ease as mf and patch talk about our schedule for the day. 

They’ve even printed off an itinerary for us. 

It may have only been two years and a new set of coaches but woah, Scott and I have definitely forgotten how busy day before a competition is. 

We have so much to do and it seems there will be zero minutes of rest. But my entire day is spent with the love of my life so how bad could it be. When the thought of spending yet another day with Scott crosses my mind I cant help but smile like a little kid. Everyone notices. 

“what are you so smiley about this morning virtch” Scott says as he runs his hand over my shoulders. I suppress a shiver from his soft movements and reply simply, “what isnt there to be smiley about? we’re at our first worlds since coming back to competing and im here in Helsinki with some of my favourite people.” They all laugh and forget about it but I can tell Scott knows its more than just that, even if he’s not completely sure what. 

Our day is crazy. Its everything from a morning workout, pre-rehearsal skate to get a feel of the ice, lunch, a few press conferences and interviews, then another two hours on the ice and finally to the mandatory gala dinner before the short dance competition tomorrow. 

After we finish breakfast there is no time to waste. We need to be in the car on the way to the rink in 30 minutes. Scott and I rush to the elevator, hoping to get on by ourselves but Kaetlyn sneaks on with us. 

She stands in front of us, back towards us and makes small talk, wishing us good luck tomorrow and hopefully we can all go out for drinks or something after we wrap it all up. Scott and I hold hands the entire ride, Kaetlyn doesn’t notice, even if she does she doesn’t say anything. 

When we get to the second floor she turns around and hugs us both goodbye and gives another good luck and off she goes, chipper and ready to go. There isnt much time in between floors so Scott and I just stand, my head on his shoulder and hands intertwined. When we get to the third floor, his floor, he kisses me lightly, pushes a hair out of my face and says “i love you tess, only a few days and we can come out to everyone ok?” 

I nod and he exits. Ill see him in the lobby in about 15 minutes and for gods sake Tessa you should be able to go 15 minutes without Scott. What has this man done to me? 

As I ride the elevator up to the fifth floor, then get back to my room and pack my bag for the day I think, Maybe a little too much about what Scott said in the elevator. We’ve never really talked about when we were going to announce to the world we are together. I wish we could do it now, but we cant. Its in the thick of worlds and I know we would become unfocused if we were allowed to express our undying love in public. Its smarter this way, to wait until after worlds. Right now though, the end seems like an eternity. All I want is Scott and to once and for all be able to claim to the world, to the women who flirt with him at bars, our parents, and our friends who force us out on blind dates that he is mine and I am his. 

I truly believe we’ve been each others since the day we met. its just taken me almost twenty years to figure it out. There has always been the undying chemistry and trust, need for each others presence in each others lives on and off the ice no matter our age. We’ve always had the love, it just took being locked in an ice rink to really make us realize it. 

Theres a tear running down my face and I dont really understand why im crying. Then theres a knock at my door, im too emotionally infatuated with Scott at the moment to really care who’s at the door or the fact that im crying because im a love sick puppy. I sound like im fifteen and just got my first boyfriend. 

When I open the door, its Scott. Why? I have no idea, I thought we weren’t meeting for another 10 minutes, but I could seriously care less. 

A smile is instantly plastered on my face as I pull his hand and drag him into my room. He’s about to say something when I literally jump onto him, wrap my legs around his waist and kiss him. 

We continue to kiss for another minute or two before the waterworks really start to fall. Scott notices and moves to sit down on the bed then pulls away and takes my face in his hands. 

“Baby, why are you crying.” 

I contemplate for a moment, getting lost in his eyes, trying to find the proper words to truly express how im feeling. What I eventually come up with is incredibly cheesy but at this point what do I have to lose? “i just love you so, so much Scott Moir. With every ounce of my being, completely and wholeheartedly.” 

He goes to reply but I cut him off again. “i dont think you get it, when I say I love you. Scott, I mean that the sun shines a little brighter when you're around, the thought of you next to me for the rest of my life makes me so emotional and fills me with a type of joy ive never felt in my entire 27 years of living. You’re the reason I smile when I wake up, the reason I love skating so much. You control every aspect of me and I would do anything and follow you anywhere if it means I could be by your side until the day I die. So while I sit here, crying, sitting with you, saying I love you, it doesn’t just mean I have love for you, but that I am so captivated and enchanted by who you are on the inside and on the out I would rather die than spend another day without you.” 

Our eyes are locked, through my entire lovesick speech. His eyes are tear-filled, threatening to spill over at any moment. He doesn’t reply and I dont need him too, the look in his eyes is enough, it tells me he feels it too. He just presses his forehead to mine and kisses me one last time, slow and soft but filled with passion. 

When we pull apart I see the clock, we have exactly four minutes to get downstairs and into the car before Marie-France and patch come looking for us. 

So I untangle myself from him and rush to the bathroom, wipe away my tears and fix myself up, trying to look and feel as great as humanly possible. When I come out of the bathroom Scott is still sitting on the bed, still in awe of what ive said. 

“come on scotty, we’ve got a world championship to win” I say as I grab mine and his bag and head out the door. 

We hold hands as we walk to the elevator, in comfortable silence. I feel like ive been holding all my feelings for Scott in for so long and really getting them out feels amazing, I could go skydiving or something right now. Im on top of the world. 

Scott still hasn’t said a thing since I spilt my guts. As I push the button he just looks at me and says “Tessa virtue, did you just propose to me?” And chuckles a little bit. 

“Nope, thats your job” and I walk into the elevator. I can hear his smile, which in turn, makes me smile twice and harder. 

——— 

The day flies by, seems like the morning workout and ice time just flies by. We’ve done two interviews and a press conference by noon, getting asked the usual questions:

“so Tessa, how do you feel about coming back to competition?” 

“Scott, are you worried that you and Tessa are too old for the comeback?”

“How is your relationship right now, where do you stand with each other?” 

“Gabi and gui seem to be right at your heels, how do you feel about that?” 

Its enough for Scott and I to wanna punch a wall, the reporter, or hell, even each other because of our rehearsed, fake, emotionless answers. 

“We are so excited to be back at competition, Scott and I have worked so hard for our two-year comeback and we wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. We are so grateful for all the help we’ve gotten from our b2ten team back in Montreal, and of course Marie-France and Patch, we wouldn’t be here without them.” 

“Of course thats crossed our minds, us being too old, but Tess and I have talked about it and we know that if we train hard and want another Olympic gold as much and even more than these other, younger teams, age is just a number. We believe our age may play as an advantage to us, with the amount of Olympic experience under our belts.”

I always answer the relationship questions, Scott has too big of a mouth, always going off script and ends up talking about my sleeping patterns or some shit, and even if he says his practised answers, he always smiles a little too big or looks into my eyes a little too long. Which of course I dont mind, but b2ten, mf and patch do. Even when we weren’t together, the spark was always there. Just took us a little while to realize it. Now that we are together though, answering these types of questions is going to be even harder, for both of us. Today was just a taste of it.

“ Our partnership has never been better. We’ve been working with our b2ten team and counsellors for so long that our trust within each other and communication is constantly evolving, especially now. He’s my best friend and I truly believe we are at a point in our relationship where we can really depend and lean on each other. Its been really amazing to have, especially with us jumping back into the competition scene.” 

I try not to cringe as I finish, the things ive said are not a lie, but they aren’t the whole truth either. I would’ve loved to just come out and yell at the top of my lungs that we’re together and so in love and so ready for this comeback and have never been stronger as a pair. 

But thats not how it works. 

We stick to the script, smile our press conference smiles, try to dodge the too personal questions by adding things like ‘thats such a compliment’ or ‘we’ve worked extensively on establishing the connection between us.’ 

I always let Scott answer the competition based questions, I love to see the fire in his eyes as he speaks, so passionately about how hard we’ve been working on and off the ice and how we know we’re ready for this.

“in regards to gabi and gui, they’ve become a really great driving force for Tessa and I on and off the ice. They push us every day to be better than the day before, so them improving just makes us want to improve and work harder that much more. We appreciate the rivalry and respect them as competitors 100 percent, we know how badly they want the Olympics and the world title, and we want it just as bad.” 

Finishing off the press conferences is such a blessing. We can finally get some lunch and relax. As soon as we exit the conference and make our way to the car back to the hotel I immediately see the tension in Scotts shoulders disappear and his eyes soften, finally relaxing and releasing all the stress from the past hour or two. 

———

Lunch goes well. We eat sandwiches, fruit and drink some chocolate milk while making small talk with some other skaters. 

Scott keeps his hand on my thigh the entire lunch, I should care if people notice but I really dont. I get a few sideways glances from a few single skaters as they walk by our table to get to the hotel buffet. 

Im at such a loss of energy to care about their looks, Scott and I have so much else to worry about, his hand resting on my leg at lunch should really be the last thing to be consumed with, for anyone. 

Once we finish its time for another two hours of solid ice time. This time we get the ice to ourselves, we had shared the ice this morning with other teams but now its our private time, each pair of ice dancers get their own two hour block of ice time the day before competition begins, its a nice way to take in the surrounds and really focus in on each other. 

We go through the prince SD more times than I can count and it all goes by without a hitch. We work on our twizzles and go through transition step sequences and some of our more difficult lifts. Overall was a really good use of time and a way to step into our bubble and really get to know the ice. 

We finish our ice time about an hour and a half before we have to be down in the hotel banquet hall for the mandatory gala before competition starts. Ive got a skin-tight red dress and heels picked out, also planning on wearing a tight, low ponytail to go with it. It might be a little too sexy for an ice skating gala but ive worked hard for this body, may as well show it off. Im sure there will be no complaining. I snicker at the thought that goes through my head and start out in a fit of giggles. 

Scotts in the car beside me, looking at me as if im crazy, just randomly bursting into a laughing fit. He just smiles and shakes his head, grabs my hand and lets me collect myself. 

We separate when we get to the hotel, he’s going to hang with Chiddy, Javi and a few other skaters as he doesn’t take nearly as long to get ready as me. “ill be at your room around 4:30 to escort you down to the gala” he states. 

I nod and head off to the elevator. It doesn’t take me an insane amount of time to get ready but I do like to take my time though, especially after a hectic day like today.

Im probably in the shower for thirty minutes before I decide to get out, that and my hands are starting to look more and more like prunes every second. Once im out I put on my pre-skate playlist, its got all my favourite songs and I love dancing around to it, makes getting ready a little less boring. 

What seems like an eternity later, Scott finally shows up at my door. Ive been itching to see his reaction of my outfit. “You look good, knock em dead,” I say to myself as I hear a knock at the door. 

I smooth out my dress and tighten my ponytail. I walk over to the door and hear Scott chuckle, “are you going to leave me out here forever?” 

As I approach the door im suddenly super nervous as what Scotts going to say about how I look. Maybe it is too much, I should’ve gone with innocent Tessa instead of putting sex in a red dress on in full force.

But he’s Scott, I could wear a paper bag and he would still tell me I look beautiful. 

When I open the door, he’s looking down at his shoes, playing with the end of his jacket, his hair is styled to perfection and he looks absolutely amazing. His black suit and white dress shirt darken his eyes, making them an even richer chocolate brown. 

I notice my jaw on the floor and pick it up and close my mouth. 

When he looks up at me, its like he’s seeing me for the first time, his eyes are scanning every inch of me and his mouth hangs open a little and stumbles backwards a bit. 

“you cant be real,” he says 

I just laugh and look down sheepishly. 

“Tessa, you look absolutely stunning. There are no other words to describe how you look other than drop dead gorgeous. If you're trying to kill me, it's working.” 

“Thank you Scotty, you look pretty amazing yourself.” I smile back

“I'm just here to make you look better, but you obviously don't me too.” 

I run back to grab my black clutch, phone and lipstick for the necessary reapplication that will come every thirty minutes. 

I loop my arm through Scotts and link our hands as we walk to the elevator. “keeping away and keeping my hands off you tonight is going to be a struggle. Seeing other guys around you and them inevitably gawking at you tonight is going to be a struggle. It should be illegal for you to look this good.” 

I just laugh and pat his arm. “don't worry Scotty, im all yours.” He searches for reassurance in my eyes and I can tell the way his girl of my hand softens he’s gotten it. “I also promise to keep you close all night so you can scare off the wolves from taking me alive.” He stands up a little straighter and puffs his chest out, trying to make himself seem bigger and scarier than he really is. I love how protective of me he Is, I could never not feel safe around him. 

The dinner goes smoothly for the most part. The first hour and a bit was a little overwhelming, the number of men that come up to me and press a kiss to my cheek to say hello, or kiss my hand as they walked away was a bit much and I could sense the irritation radiating off of Scott, I just rubbed his back and gave him reassuring smiles every once in a while. 

It felt good though, to be at a gala where people were talking about anything but skating. Seemed as if we were at a wedding or something, just a nice get together for some of the best skaters in the world. 

Then we were seated, at a table with Kaitlyn and Andrew, Maia and Alex and Gabi and Gui. The conversation wasn’t awkward but you could feel the tension between everyone. All of us at the table want that gold medal so bad we would do anything for it. That scares me, the thought of people doing all sorts of things to be on top, being fucked over again by judges (cough Sochi cough). The amount of bribery that exists in a sport like figure skating is ridiculous and anyone stooping that low to get a medal they dont deserve is so unnerving it makes me sick. Im staring straight through Gabi's head as I think and I swear if my looks could kill, she would be dead. 

Other than the table tension, the weird food that I don't even think has a proper name and some of the longest speeches ive ever heard, it was a decent night. 

The night got even better once we were allowed to leave. Scott basically dragged me to the packed elevator, his hands gripped tightly on my hips, having me firmly pressed against his front. To play with him a little I wiggle my hips and press harder into his front. He mumbles something and grips my hips higher than before, sure to leave faint bruises. I smile to myself. I am too good at this game. 

I guarantee if this elevator was empty we’d both already be half naked. He’s ready to get this dress off, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t ready either. He’s basically bouncing behind me, like a kid who’s on a sugar rush. I snicker to myself, I've tortured him all night and now its time to let him have me. 

We stop at his floor, much too eager to wait until the fifth floor. I haven’t even seen Scott's room yet so really we’re killing to birds with one stone here. I dont think im going to be getting much of a grand tour though. 

I was right, no grand tour. Scotts shirts already being unbuttoned before we were even in the door. Im pinned against the wall within seconds of the door being closed. I kick my heels off and jump to wrap around him, dress hiked up around my waist so I can lock my legs around him, steadying myself. Even though I know he wouldn’t let me fall. 

Our lips move furiously against each other, red lipstick smeared across both of our faces. Scott is in a mood and I know this is going to move fast. This sounds weird but I would way rather make out with Scott against the wall like we are right now instead of on a coach or on a bed, I love feeling of him holding me up like he has his entire life, its thrilling for some reason. 

His hands are everywhere, roaming my body, feeling me up. My arms are wrapped around his neck, one hand down his back and one tangled in his hair. I love it this length, its long and fluffy and the perfect length for me to run my hands through it. I would keep it this length forever but unfortunately, his hair grows at lightning speed so he’s at the hairdresser every month. If he lets it get any longer than this he starts to look a little bit like a greasy paedophile. Freaks me out to be honest 

But I should not be thinking about paedophile Scott while as the Internet calls him “latch Scott” is attempting to have sex with me. Not the biggest turn on I will admit. 

So I bring my focus back to the present and let my lips travel down his neck, his shirt is undone so I have easy access to his chest. I suck a little on his collarbone, making sure to leave a mark to remember me by. 

We progress fast, moving from the wall to Scotts bed, sloppily, but we do make it. he doesn’t let me touch the floor once. I think he likes being able to carry me around without struggle, makes him feel more manly or something stupid like that. Im not some precious thing that will break, but hey, I dont mind being carried. 

When he sets me on the bed, he rips off his jacket and shirt in a panic, then slides off his pants, leaving him in his underwear. “your turn” he smiles. 

I roll my eyes and roll over onto my back, zipper up. He rubs my bare shoulders first, a massage is definitely something I need right now. Then he moves his hands down, latching onto my the zipper of my dress and slowly pull it down, planting kisses along my spine as it becomes visible. 

Once the dress is on the floor, my thong and his underwear follow suit almost immediately. 

The rest is just a blur. A hot, sexy, rough, pleasurable blur. 

——— 

Scott and I fall asleep almost immediately after we finish. It has been one hell of a day.

I wake up at about 11pm and decide to have a shower as my makeup is still on and my hair is still strapped tightly in its ponytail. Im also a little sweaty from Scott and i’s activities. 

I slide out of his grasp, grab his maple leafs sweater that he wore to my room last night and take it to the bathroom with me. 

Once im out of the shower I feel so much better, I slide his sweater on and make my way back to the bed. 

I see a worried, wide awake Scott. “Tess!” He almost yells. 

“That's me, whats up handsome?” I ask as I get back into bed. 

“I-i thought you left.” He says, quieter this time. 

I reach one hand up and stoke one side of his face. “ I would never leave without telling you, okay.” 

He nods and nuzzles his head into my shoulder, planting a soft kiss. 

“I love that sweater on you” he states as he wraps me up in his arms. I nod in agreement and slowly drift back into sleep, the sound of Scotts breathing lulling me into a deep sleep. 

———

Its my turn to leave at 4am this time. When my alarm initially goes off im super confused. Then it hits me that we aren’t hotel neighbours and we have to sneak around the hotel at 4am to make sure no one sees us. 

Scott doesn’t stir much while the buzzing is happening, but I feel him tense when I try to untangle myself from him. So I lean over and whisper in his ear “its ok Scotty, ill see you soon.” And plant a kiss on his cheek. He relaxes immediately and is back asleep before im even off the bed. 

I grab my stuff and am about to walk out the door when I realize I dont have any pants or any extra underwear. Guess that's what happens when your pulled into sex and are forbidden to leave in the middle of it. “you've got to be kidding me” I mutter to myself. 

So I grab a towel from Scotts bathroom and wrap it around my waist and pray to god no one sees me in Scotts sweater and my makeshift skirt, all while holding my dress, heels, and clutch. 

Remember im also half asleep. 

I stumble to the elevator as if im drunk, but im not, just sleepy. I surprisingly make it to my room without being spotted. Once im in my room I drop everything onto the floor, grab a new pair of underwear and collapse into bed. Scott and I dont have to be at the rink until 1pm as the short dance starts at 3pm and we skate last. So really we could show up at 5pm and still have lots of time to spare but we have to practice and do some pre-skate interviews and Skype with the b2ten team. so ill get up around 8am, gives me lots of time to ease into the day while getting a couple more hours sleep. 

Im woken up by my alarm for the second time in four hours and its not something I enjoy. When I check my phone I see ive got a few messages from Scott. 

‘morning baby, so sad to wake up without you. See you at breakfast for 8:30 yeah?’ 

‘you forgot your underwear in my room last night, what a nice souvenir ;)’ 

‘love you, see you in an hour. Ill be at the same table as yesterday.’ 

I giggle and roll out of bed, he makes mornings so much better, no matter how much I hate them. Its also competition day so that encourages me as well. 

———

Scott gives me a great big hug when I get down to breakfast, just as he usually does so no one gives it a second look, which I appreciate. 

I have a glass of water and chocolate milk with some eggs and toast. My pre-competition meal. Scott will have his club sandwich later, its too early for it now. 

After breakfast, we head up to his room and pack his bag for the day. His prince outfit, which I love. Some workout/warmup clothes, a pair of sweats and one of his thousand Canada sweaters. 

Then we head to my room where im already packed for the day but we need to Skype b2ten so we do it there. They talk about the usual shit, keeping focused in each other, the hug, getting out any last minute concerns before the competition. 

I love b2ten I really do, but the constant “talk about how you're feeling right now Tessa”, “how does Tessa’s answer make you feel Scott?” 

It gets old it really does. Especially because Scott and I are at such a great point in our relationship, dissecting our feelings into such crazy detail with b2ten right now is the last thing we need or want to do. But we have to anyway because we aren’t a public couple who can tell their team to fuck off. No matter how much we want too. 

After that, we head to the car and make our way to the rink. Scott and I chat about the skate, what parts we really need to focus on, blocking out gabi and gui, the usual. 

The one press conference we go to goes well, a lot of praise and uplifting questions. Put us in a good mood for the skate. 

The warmup skate goes well, we chat with other teams but stay glued to each others side. Im really easy to psych out and I get into my head a lot, so Scott being around keeps me calm and keeps the savage skaters that like to play mind games away. 

——— 

Before we know it we’re on the ice, about to be announced. Gabi and Gui had a decent sake, scoring 76.89. the pressure is definitely on but we’re ready, I know it. 

“Next, representing Canada, Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir” 

I smile and lock eyes with Scott. He gives a reassuring nod, it helps but my heart is still going at a thousand beats per minute. 

Then the music starts and its all sharp movements and twizzles and lifts and crazy facial expressions, the whole time though I feel amazing, I can tell this is going to be a great skate. By Scott's energy, I know he can feel it too. 

I come back to reality as Scott and I finish in the end pose. The crowd is screaming, louder than ever before, Scotts yelling along with them. We fricken did it. I don't think we’ve skated that program as well in such a long time. Definitely one for the record books. 

Scott scoops me up and yells “yes T!!! Way to go !!! What a skate!” 

I pat him on the back in agreement. It may have only been the short dance but what a way to start the competition. 

We skate over to the kiss and cry, mf and patch hugging and showering us with praise. I cant really focus im too excited and eager for the scores. 

And some scores they were, an 82.43. Holy shit. We demolished Gabi and Gui’s score. A Solid 5 and a half points ahead of them. Both Scott and I are in disbelief, we know we skated great, but wow, we did not expect scores like those. 

There's a lot of cheers and hugs and celebrations, but its only the short dance. Scott and I know this so we appreciate the praise and the hugs but we have to stay grounded, if we get out of control with our emotions over this score we will only be a detriment to ourselves. We still have tomorrows free dance and thats a whole new bucket of worms. Gabi and Gui have been known to be better at the free, even though we’re ahead now, it doesn’t mean anything until after we get our fd scores tomorrow. 

The rest of the night Scott and I are in my room, watching a movie and eating a chicken dinner. Staying in our bubble right now is important. Being around other skaters and alcohol is not a good idea. 

We fall asleep at god knows what time. Im assuming pretty early. We were both beat after all the rush of emotion earlier in the day. Competition is such a rush but it takes a lot out of you.

——— 

The morning comes, its 8am when my alarm goes off yet again. Scott decided to stay the entire night, It was nice to wake up wrapped in his embrace. 

We lazily make our way down to breakfast, make small talk with mf and patch, I can tell they’re trying to avoid the topic of the free dance. They know its consuming our thoughts already so them leaving it alone helps a lot. 

ive noticed that They have been a little standoffish and quiet this trip, hopefully, nothing is up.

When we get to the rink, the atmosphere has definitely changed from yesterday. It was happy and uplifting and exciting, today its tense and suffocating. I think I stop breathing because Scott puts his hand on my back and whispers “Tessa breath.” I snap back to reality and nod, letting out a big breath. 

Warm up goes smoothly, as usual. I do notice something though, during warmup, Scott's shirt got ruffled a bit during one of the lifts, exposing his collarbone.

I'll be damned. The fricken hickey I left there a few days ago is still there, on display for everyone. I smile to myself, proud of the mark ive left, but then realize that this mark CANNOT be on display. I skate closer to him and re-adjust his shirt. “careful Scotty, don’t want this to be caught on camera” I snicker. 

“and who’s fault would that be?” He whispers, then laughs and skates towards the boards. 

I just shake my head and follow after him. 

——— 

Gabi and gui have yet another solid free dance skate. They score a 119.15, this is a massive score. Did they deserve that much? Probably not but they have really been pushing their free dance to be as good as it can and its really showing, just maybe not to the extent of a 119.15, but hey what do I know.

Im much more nervous today then I was yesterday.

Scott can tell, he can always tell. He just grabs my hand and that's enough to ground and calm me down.

“Next, representing Canada, Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir.” 

I almost forget to move until Scott starts too low key drag me onto the ice. 

When we reach our starting positions the rest of the world and the arena disappears, it all goes away except for Scott and the ice, just the way I like it.

The music starts and fills my ears, off we go. 

We move so smoothly across the ice, it was a really good start, we can beat gabi and gui’s score I just know it. 

Our movements are graceful and beautiful, approaching the two-minute mark, going into another set of twizzles when disaster strikes. 

Scotts toe pick hits the ice and he stumbles, only for a second, but it happens none the less. My heart sinks but we have to focus, have to finish strong. He can do it, we can do it. He immediately is back into formation but I can feel him slipping away. 

I grip his hand tight and mutter “im here”, he’s got to know im not going to leave him behind, we are going to finish strong and get that gold. 

When the music stops and we are in the final pose I cant help but feel helpless towards Scott. I rub his ear with my thumb, trying to reassure him and let him know that its ok, that we bounced back and skated flawlessly the rest of the program. 

Im about to sit up, but he whispers something unusual into my chest. He usually does, like ‘great skate kiddo’ or ‘hell yeah we just did that’ 

But today its something much more meaningful. 

“Tess" he pauses "marry me?” 

I feel my heart stop beating and try to repress the urge to cry. He helps me stand up, he’s still on one knee on the ice, he’s searching my eyes for an answer. I mouth “yes”. 

Hes completely forgotten about his slip (thank god), stands up and swoops me into a bone-crushing hug. “I love you,” we both say at the same time. 

I could burst. No matter what just happened on the ice, I, Tessa Jane McCormick Virtue is going to marry Scott Patrick Moir. I don't think I could wipe the smile off my face if I tried. We’re going to win gold, and im going to be engaged. 

Either way, we win. 

Our hands are locked as we skate over to the kiss and cry, mf and patch say something but neither of us is listening. All we can think about is each other and our future and how amazing of a life we are going to have.

We should be more focused on our potential scores and how we could have a world title snatched from us, but we aren't.

Scotts shaking beside me, not just from his declaration of marriage but he’s worried about the score. Worried he just took away from us what we’ve worked so hard for. I sling my arms around him and rub his back, slowly, trying to get him to calm down. 

“the scores please” 

This is the moment of truth, all of our dreams are either going to come true or be shattered. 

“in the free dance, Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir have scored a 116.19. With a combined score of 198.62 and are currently in first place.” 

We did it! Oh my god. I knew we could. I bring Scott into a big hug and whisper, “we did it, Scott, we did it” 

I resist every urge to kiss him, its almost impossible, but I won't out us here, no way. I dont think Scott would mind though. 

He doesn’t say anything back, just squeezes me back. 

———

We make it through the medal ceremony, singing Canada's national anthem at the top of our lungs, as usual. 

There will be a couple of press conferences tomorrow and there is thankfully no mandatory dinner to attend tonight so we just go back to the hotel, deciding in the car ride back to order two bottles of champagne and go to Scott's room for the night. 

I go to my room before heading back to Scotts. I shower, get Into much more comfy clothes, pack some things in a little bag and make my way to the third floor. 

When I open Scott's door he’s got a crazy amount of food and the two promised bottles of champagne on the bed. 

“This is so nice, babe,” I say 

“All for you my love.” He replies. “thank you for sticking with me today, I'm so sorry.” 

The fact he’s still upset about his slip up makes me so sad. He’s amazing and made a mistake, we’re human, its going to happen. “Please don't worry about it any more ok. We won, you're amazing, we’re amazing, we’re world champions. That's all that matters ok.” 

He nods and pulls me into a hug, kissing the top of my head. 

“I don't have a ring yet, but it’ll be the first thing I do when we get back.” 

“I don't care about having a ring right now. I'm your fiancé, we’re engaged ring or no ring.” 

“I love you Tess.” 

“I love you too.” 

———

We eat our food and drink our champagne, laughing, getting tipsy, saying stupid things that make no sense and have sloppy make-out sessions. Its a dream come true, im sitting here in a hotel room in Helsinki, with my fiancé, getting drunk off hotel champagne and laughing my ass off. 

Life could seriously not get any better. 

——— 

*the next day, 5pm* 

Life could, however, get a whole lot worse, and it does. 

“you cant be serious” Scott mutters “this is not happening. I wont let it, you cant, I won't let you do that to Tess and I.” 

I stand up abruptly, ready to defend Scott and I, but my brain wont let me.

The world spins around me at lightning speed, im trying to comprehend the words being said to us but I cant, im dizzy and everything is out of focus. Im about to pass out, I try and say something to warn them as I reach for Scott's hand. I miss, then stumble backwards, eventually landing on the floor with a little thud. 

———

*earlier the same day, 10am*  
Scott and I finally wake up, naturally. No alarm, no need to be anywhere, we can spend our entire morning here if we want too. We have some press conference stuff around 3pm but we have a boatload of time. 

Scott is humming beside me, playing with my hair, hugging me in tight. 

“Morning baby” 

“Hi Scotty” I reply. 

We sit in silence for probably another hour, just taking in each others presence, drifting in and out of sleep. 

Then Scott speaks and what he says throws me off a little. 

“Tess, i have a proposition.” I nod, encouraging him to continue. “I think we should tell Marie-France and patch we’re together today. I know we said we would wait until we’re back on home soil but I dont think I can keep it in for a whole 12-hour flight.” 

I consider his words carefully. I don't see why would couldn’t tell them tonight, whats a day or two early? 

“Sure babe, sounds like a pan to me.” 

He smiles and kisses me. “I'm so excited Tess!” 

We know they’re going to be at the rink all day watching the other skating disciplines, offering advice to younger skaters and such so we decide to stop by after the press conferences. 

*3pm* 

The press conferences go by quick, we get really good questions about our future skating, prepping for the Olympics, going up against gabi and gui again, our thoughts on living in Montreal, how we like Gadbois. Surface questions that allow us to elaborate. Its nice to be asked these questions instead of ’so how long have you been fucking’- or at least something along the lines of that. 

We also get a lot of praise for our free dance yesterday and how happy people are they we bounced back after Scotts slip up, he gets tense when we’re asked about it but eventually relaxes.

We say our final goodbyes, take a few pictures and make our way to the car and head to the rink, the ladies free dance is going on right now. 

*5pm* 

Scott and I watch a few of the ladies free, no one too spectacular will be coming on for about another hour so we decide to go and locate mf and patch now. 

We hunt them down about 10 minutes later, are waving them over to us. They both look at each other, worried expression on their faces. I try not to think too much about it but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little confused. They've been off the whole trip.

“Hey guys!” Scott says as he pulls them into a hug. 

“Hello Scott, Tessa” patch says happily. 

Maybe its nothing, patch seems to be chipper so everything must be fine. 

“Can we talk to you guys?” I ask “we want to tell you something” 

“Funny you ask, we’ve been meaning to tell you guys something as well,” Marie says.

There it is, something wrong. 

We walk into one of the empty offices around the rink where four chairs are set up. 

“Were you guys expecting us?” Scott laughs a little awkwardly, he feels the tension too. 

“Somewhat.” Patch replies. 

Yes, something is very, very wrong. Im fighting everything in me that is telling me to grab Scott and run home to Canada. 

“We are going to go first ok.” Marie-France states. 

Nope, we should go first. Our good news will make whatever is coming next not be so bad. 

We sit down and im shaking a lot. Too much to even hide it. I press my hands into my legs in order to steady myself. 

Scott has his arm looped around my back trying to keep both of us calm but for the first time in 19 years, we cant get steady. 

“So Tessa, Scott.” Patch beings. “We know you're together. If thats what you came to tell us today we already know, but it doesn’t change what we are about to tell you.” 

I nod, cautiously. Unable to find words to reply. Scott looks as if someone stole his brand new lawnmower. 

Marie-France takes a deep breath then drops the bomb. “We know you are going to the Olympics next year and are going to win, but there are a few months in between needing to start training and coming up with new programs. There are two ice tours happening during that time and we want you both to be at them. Heres the thing, you’ll each be attending separate tours, at the same time, with different partners.” 

A deathly silence fills the room. I can hear Scott's heart beating out of his chest, and im struggling to find air. We’ve never toured by ourselves, we’ve never been on the ice without each other a few feet away, we’ve never been apart for more than a few hours since the comeback. 

“You cant be serious” Scott mutters “this is not happening. I won't let it, you cant, no, actually I won't let you do that to Tess and I. We’ve never skated apart since we were 7 and fucking 9. I sure as hell am not starting now.” 

“There's nothing you can do Scott, its already done,” Patch says. “Youll be meeting your new temporary partners in three days at Gadbois” 

I stand up abruptly, ready to defend Scott and I, but my brain won't let me.

The world spins around me at lightning speed, im trying to comprehend the words being said to me but I cant, im dizzy and everything is out of focus. Im about to pass out, I try and say something to warm them as I reach for Scotts hand. I miss, then stumble backwards, eventually landing on the floor with a little thud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the cliffhanger, i hate myself too. 
> 
> stay tuned for more! 
> 
> xx


	6. Sadness and Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa and Scott deal with their emotions post big news, and it gets messy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * TRIGGER WARNING* 
> 
> I touch on some heavy topics in this chapter, if you dont feel comfortable reading then i totally understand and you can pick up with the story next chapter. 
> 
> this is yet again, a massive chapter. I've poured my heart into it and i really hope you do enjoy it. 
> 
> I'm sorry it took so long to update, but its here!

*TESSAS POV*

When I regain consciousness, im surrounded by four people. Two of whom I could kill, a paramedic and my teary-eyed, pale-faced fiancé. 

Scotts holding one of my hands in both of his, I squeeze back without thinking and it seems the right thing to do, as all the colour comes back to his face as soon as i do. The last thing we need is him passing out too. There's a blood pressure cuff on my other arm, doing what I assume is taking my blood pressure. Im also doused in sweat. 

I still haven’t said a word, just sit on the floor, holding Scott's hand, staring into space trying to comprehend the news we were just given. 

Instead of trying to make sense of everything, the only thing occupying my thoughts is how much I need a drink. 

I should be focused on Scott, trying to help him through this as well, reassuring him that im fine and just forgot to eat lunch even though we had lunch together and he witnessed me inhale a salad, or figuring out what to say to mf and patch. 

Instead all I want is a drink. 

The paramedic says im fine and that I should rest for a couple of hours and then I should be back to 100%. I sit there for a few more minutes after he leaves while patch, Scott and mf look at me like im some sort of exotic Bird. 

I still really need a drink, so I go against the paramedics and my better judgement, still having not said a word, i stand up, grab my phone, and walk out the door and out onto the streets on Helsinki. 

I hear mf and patch all yell after me. They know better than to follow me out, and they dont. 

When I hear Scott yell out a struggled “tess” my heart breaks a little but I continue forward. 

I dont turn around, I dont tell them where im going and I could care less about anyone else's emotions but mine right now. I should care about Scotts, and I do, but right now the only person I'm focused on keeping together is me. 

I know if I focus on anything else im going to break down in the middle of the street and that is not part of the plan. 

I wander down the street in the direction of the hotel, I think im just going to go back to my room, cry a lot and order a few bottles of wine off the room service menu. 

Instead, as my walk continues, I pass by a bar. Multiple bars actually. Every single time I pass one, it seems like a better idea to go there instead of back to the hotel where I am easily accessible to Scott, mf and patch. 

I know where I am so I will for sure to able to get back to the hotel, it's about a 5 minute walk from the bar I decide on. 

When I walk in, the lights are dim, there are people everywhere. This place is packed. Music is blaring and its exactly what I need. There is so much going on I cant focus on anything other than the current environment I've placed myself in. 

I stride over to the bar, a woman on a mission. “3 shots of fireball please” 

The bartender looks at me, a little taken back by the demand. He nods anyway and gets me the shots, I down all three of them one after the other, the first one hurts the most and tastes the worst but it warms my blood instantly. 

After another couple rounds of various shots and random drinks bought by random men throughout the bar, I start to feel it, ive always been somewhat of a lightweight because Scott and I rarely have time to drink during training, so it really doesn’t take much to get me drunk and it is very apparent tonight. 

Ive been at the bar for probably two, two and a half hours when men start lining up to buy me drinks. At first, it was only one guy every fifteen, twenty minutes but now it looks as if the drinks aren’t going to stop coming my way and at this point I dont care. All the guys are weird looking and definitely want something more than just to chat and buy me a drink because they’re nice, but im engaged to the Love of my life. So chatting is going to have to do. 

Im also not sure of how much sense im making at this point. All conversation is getting muddled up in my head and I just end up laughing. 

Im surrounded by 5 men who make me super uncomfortable, but there is a female waitress that passes by the table every few minutes to check up on us and by us, I mean me, which I am very grateful for. 

I am definitely drunk. Like piss drunk, going to remember none of this night, puke up the entire contents of my stomach drunk. I'm drunker than ive been I the past year and a half easily and am in desperate need of some water. I stand up from the booth where I was sitting with those few guys and start to stumble over to the bartender when someone grabs me by the hips and drags me to the dance floor, and not in the nice, inviting way. 

My back is to the person whose hands are holding me, I know its not Scott. They are too rough and much too big. Im scared. I try and stay calm even though my heart is beating crazy fast. 

I start to dance a little and he loosens his grip on me. 

Then he speaks, gripping me hard again, most likely going to leave marks, what a great conversation that is going to be when Scott sees.

“Hey sweetheart, you look a little lonely. I can keep you company if you want.” 

If I was sober I would shit kick him and be out of this situation within seconds. 

But I'm not sober. My mind is clouded by an insane amount of alcohol and filled with images of a sad and worried Scott and a disapproving Marie-France and patch. 

I shake my head at the guy and tell him I need some water but he just grips me tighter. 

I see a waiter walk by us with a couple glasses of water on a tray, I scoop one up and down it. Except by the time I'm done it I realize it wasn’t water, it was straight vodka. Exactly what I dont need. 

“look at you go, hot and can drink, I think I've found my soulmate.” I shudder and tense up at the word soulmate. I already have one of those and sure as hell dont need another. 

He notices how tense I get from his words, so he takes it upon himself to start feeling me up, his hands running all over me, eventually grabbing at my ass and my boobs and that's when the real fear kicks in. He then lets his mouth travel all over my exposed shoulders and neck, sloppy and gross and straight up revolting. Ive never felt more violated in my entire life. i open my mouth to let out a scream, but nothing happens. 

He finally pulls away after what seems like an eternity. 

“I'm going to go get us some more drinks, stay right here. Move and you’ll regret it.” 

I don't listen to him, no matter how drunk I may be, no matter how fucked up my brain is right now, my flight or fight response always has my back. As soon as I feel his hands off my body and lose him in the sea of people I make a mad dash for the door, only almost falling over 35 times on the way. 

The cold air hits me like a truck and I fall over, scraping my knee on the concrete below. it stings and i feel the blood trickle down my leg. ive ripped my favourite leggings too, what a mess, again being hit with the realization of how drunk I actually am. If Scott was here there is no way id be walking right now, i would be scooped up bridal style and carried all the way to bed. 

But Scott isn't here, and im not going to be carried back even though I can barely hold myself up at this point. 

———

By some miracle, I make it back to the hotel still standing up. 

Its 9:30pm but it feels like 3am. 

The only thing on my mind is Scott, he’s been texting and calling all night, leaving worried voicemails and text messages but I won't let myself call him in the state im in. If im going to see him it needs to be face to face.

I think its a good idea to leave him be until the morning, ill send him a text when I get back to my room. 

But as my drunken state would dictate, I should probably not be alone as the amount of alcohol ive ingested these past few hours is definitely not safe.

So the dumbass that I am, stumbles into the elevator, holding onto the walls to keep myself somewhat upright. 

When the elevator doors open I have no energy left and barely make it to Scott's door. 

As soon as I touch it I collapse in front of it. I fall to the ground, not gracefully at all and start to bawl my eyes out. Then I really hit a low point and basically start to beg him to answer the door. 

Im so emotionally unstable right now, after the bombshell and the guy at the bar I just really need him to hold me.

“Scott” i choke out “Scott please” and I hear hurried footsteps behind the door “please answer the door.” Then I start to full-on sob, hyperventilating, shaking, all the works. 

Then as if the gods have answered, he opens the door, confused at first, then he realizes what is going on in front of him and what a mess I am and exactly what has happened. “oh my god tess” he whispers “what happened?” 

I don't hear anything of what he says next, I just shake my head in response, hopefully, that's an acceptable answer. 

He kneels down and picks me up bridal style.I nuzzle my head into his shoulder and wrap my arms around his neck. He walks into his room and lowers me down onto the bed. When he pulls away I almost have a heart attack. “please don’t go” I croke out “please Scotty” fear plastered all over my face. 

He looks at me with such a look of sadness and worry I start to cry even harder. He rushes back over to me, takes my face in his hands and says “oh baby, im not going anywhere. Im just grabbing you one of my sweaters, some bandiads for your knee and some water ok.” 

I nod in response and start to take off my clothes. When Scott comes back im butt naked but wrapped up in the sheets and waiting for the sweater. He hands it to me and I slide it over my head, breathing in his familiar scent helps in bringing me down off of my emotional cliff. 

He hands me some water and an Advil, I take it and down the water in seconds. 

Then he cleans up my knee, placing a band-aid over it, thankfully the bleeding has stopped but it still hurts.

Scott turns off the lights and climbs into bed beside me. I latch onto him and immediately the flood gates open again. I try to keep myself from screaming and he can tell. He doesn’t say a word, just pulls me in closer and rubs my back. Its his way of saying its ok, that I dont have to pretend to be strong anymore, that I can finally let my walls down. So I do, and god it feels so good, but it also hurts like my heart is being stomped on, all the pain from the days events finally coming to fruition.

Scott just lies with me, holding me tight, lets me cry and get it all out until I literally cry myself to sleep. 

What Tessa doesn’t realize though is that he does the same. 

———

Its 3:27am when I wake up sweating, feeling as if someone punched me in the face. The whole room is spinning and I am 100% going to hurl. 

I jump out of bed, trying not to wake Scott but fail miserably and make a mad dash to the toilet. 

I make it, barely, but I make it none the less. I basically dive towards the toilet, hurting and probably reopening my knee wound once again. Scotts behind me in a millisecond, rubbing my back and holding my hair as I bring up every single shot and drink from the bar and every last piece of food ive eaten in the past week. It feels as if im also going to puke up my literal stomach, but lucky for me I don't. 

Im not sure how long I puke for, all I know is that once im done, Im shaking uncontrollably, or for what feels like the 400th time today.

My head resting on the edge of the now flushed toilet thanks to the one and only Scott Moir. I feel the dehydration wash over me and think its enough to make me puke again, which it does. 

After another 10ish minuets of dying on the floor im finally stable enough to stand and walk back to the bed. I cling to Scott for dear life and use him to steady myself while getting him to absorb some of my uncontrollable shakes. I lie back into bed and Scott puts a cold cloth on my head, along with another cup of water on the side table, also checking out my knee and replacing the band-aid. 

He slides back into bed and resumes our hold. Im still shaking and he just whispers “shh, its ok baby, im here, ive got you, its ok, just go to sleep” over and over again until sleep once again consumes me. 

———

*SCOTTS POV* 

The words go in one ear and out the other. They cant be serious, its got to be some kind of sick joke. 

Im pretty sure my brain stopped functioning properly at the words “with different partners”. Im also quite confident Tessa’s did the same.

They keep talking but I can only look at Tessa. She’s gone whiter than a ghost, shaking even more now than before we walked into the room. She looks like she might throw up or deck someone, or both. 

All the sudden she stands up. This conversation is nowhere near over so I don't know where she is planning on going.

She mutters something as she reaches out for my hand, she misses, stumbles backwards and starts to fall. I basically jump out of my chair and just barely catch her head before it his the ground with the rest of her body. 

“Tess!!” I yell, panicked. “One of you go get some help!!” I say frantically towards patch and mf.

Patch runs out the door and comes back with a paramedic a minute or two later. 

We move Tess so she’s propped up against a wall, sitting up. 

She opens her eyes a minute later as the paramedic is taking her vitals and then she squeezes my hand, thank god she’s ok. I don't know what I would’ve done if she just went and died. Actually, I know what would’ve happened, I would died 30 seconds later. 

The paramedic leaves and she’s just sitting there, holding my hand, not saying a word. She’s all sweaty and pale but the colour is starting to come back to her face. 

Then she lets go of my hand, grabs her phone off the floor and starts to walk straight out of the rink. 

I yell out after her, she pauses but continues out the door. there is no way she is stable enough to be alone. 

I try to decide whether to follow her or not. I come to the conclusion I shouldn’t. I will however stay and tell Marie and patch exactly how im feeling. 

I turn towards them and usher them back into the room. 

“scott..” Marie starts 

“No. No. No. You guys don't get to talk right now.” 

They nod and sit down.

I start pacing back and forth in the room, trying to come up with things to say.

It only takes about 30 seconds and I know exactly what im going to say. 

I look them dead in the eyes and begin. “Whatever happens to her out there, whatever she decides to do is your fault. She is going to be a mess and you both need to accept responsibility for that. Also, I cant actually fathom that you two thought it would be ok to plan something like this, without telling us. Something this big needs to be discussed long in advance, not three days before we meet those who shall not be named two and half weeks before the tour starts. Tessa and I adore you two, but you have crossed a line. Its going to take some time before either of us forgive you.” 

I give them a chance to reply and they do. Patch starts. 

“Scott listen to us, you and Tessa both have every right to be furious with us and we understand and accept responsibility for Tessa's actions right now. We also know we shove talked to you both sooner but the time never came. We saw how close you two have gotten over the past little while and knew that you would be together in a matter of time. We also did not want to disrupt your training and your focus. It needed to be here on worlds and on each other. We know that its going to take some time to earn your trust back and we completely understand.” 

I nod a few times. “Ok, now who’s idea was it.” My blood is still boiling and I can't help that my mind keeps driving to Tessa and what the hell she could be possibly doing. 

Marie-France replies this time. “It wasn’t ours, it was the tour coordinators. We were trying to decide what tour you both should be on because the two we were trying to choose from are running at the same time. So we met with both coordinators, and we were going to choose the one that Tessa will be on and when the other tour coordinator wouldn’t take no for an answer, he suggested we split you up, pair you with new partners for the tours, so each gets a half. He had a perfect pair in mind who have been having issues connecting on the ice and he thought you both would be good for them. We were both dead against it at the beginning, then we met the people you’ll be partnering with. They are no clones of you two but we truly believe you could work really well with Lauren and Tessa would be a good match for Jeremy. We think you and Tessa will make them better. And then eventually better for each other” 

“Wait, wait, wait a second. Are you telling me Lauren and Jeremy are partners?” 

They nod back. 

I don’t know why but this frustrates me to no end. If they don't mesh well, if they can’t figure out how to work well together as partners then how the fuck are Tessa and I supposed to make them work better with each other when they will be with us instead. 

I don’t say anything back. I just shake my head and walk out the door. I’ve got to find Tessa. 

When I step out of the rink into the cold night it’s so refreshing, I was feeling so suffocated inside the rink. I can finally breathe. 

Time to get down to business, mission: find Tessa. 

Hopefully in one piece. 

Now, which way would she go, away from the hotel or towards it? Definitely towards it. She may want to get away from everyone but she would never put herself too far away from safety. 

Off in the direction of the hotel I go. She’s probably gone to the gym to run off her anger or headed to the nearest library to get lost in some book. She could’ve also went back to the hotel to sleep everything off. 

As I walk back to the hotel I’m somewhat alarmed by the number of bars I pass, Tessa wouldn’t go drown herself in alcohol.. I-I don't think at least, that’s more my thing. 

I poke my head into all the bars, just to make sure. 

The last one I come across is about a 5 minute walk from the hotel, it’s crazy packed and I don’t even get in the front door before being pushed out by other people wanting in. Tessa would never go to a place like this, especially by herself. 

If only Scott had decided to go inside. 

So I call her instead. Wandering around like a lost puppy isnt going to do anything.

It goes straight to voicemail so I leave a message “hey babe, let me know where you are eh, I’m a little worried. Just want to make sure you’re alright. I’ll be at the hotel in my room when you’re ready to talk. Love you” 

Then I send her a text because I’m a paranoid, protective freak who Always thinks the worst is going to happen. 

For example: 

1\. shes being drugged up by a bunch of guys and they are going to kidnap her and give her to a terrorist group in exchange of government secrets  
2\. She’s being raped by some drunk  
3\. She’s been run over by a truck and is lying unconscious in a hospital bed 

I could go on. 

The text says  
“ hey t, a little worried about where you are. Just let me know that you’re safe. Love you” 

When I get back to the hotel I still haven’t heard from her. To say I’m worried is a bit of an understatement at this point. I know I haven’t seen or heard from her for only a couple of hours but still, I just really need to hear her voice. 

The only thing is, because I don’t know where she is and can’t force her to pick up the phone I’m stuck. Its going to be a waiting game for now. 

Another hour goes by and still nothing. I’m debating calling the Finland police force but I know that’s a little much. She’s 27 years old for gods sake Scott, I’m sure she’s fine. 

The thing that Scott doesn’t know though, is that Tessa is very, very not ok.  

—- —- —-

I decide to leave Tessa be and order some Dwayne the rock Johnson action movie off the on-demand Channel on my hotel tv and order a pizza through room service. 

I don’t think I grasp anything from the movie and the pizza just sits in front of me. I feel sick to my stomach and the only thing I can think is where the fuck are you tess.

I still haven’t heard from her, but I’m exhausted and at this point just hope she will text or call me when she gets back to the hotel. I know its only 9pm but I really need to rest for our big trip back home tomorrow. 

So I throw out the pizza, take a shower, turn off the tv and am about to climb into bed when there’s a soft ‘thump’ outside my door. 

My heart jumps a little, could it be Tessa? 

I ignore my instincts to answer the door and force myself to believe I’m hearing things and get under the covers. I debate taking my sweats off but something tells me to keep them on as I might be up sometime later tonight and pants are important. 

About 5 minutes later I start to hear sobbing and a soft “Scott”.

I Jump out of bed and basically run to the door. I pause just as I’m about to open it because I hear another plea of “Scott please” then another pause and then “please answer the door.” 

I don’t hesitate for another second and whip open the door to a sight that will probably haunt me for the rest of my life. 

Tessa's sitting there, on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. Im a little shocked to see her at first but then the overwhelming smell of alcohol hits me. 

She really did drink her sorrows away, probably in one of the bars I didn't search hard enough. “oh my god tess” I whisper “what happened?” 

She just looks up at me with an expression I don't think ill ever be able to erase from my mind for the rest of my life. She is fully, 100% broken. 

“Tess, baby, can you stand up?” I ask, kneeling down to her level. 

She shakes her head and I take that as my answer. As I scoop her up, she feels so limp and light. She buries her head into my shoulder and basically has me in a choke hold with how tight she’s holding onto me. 

Takes every last ounce of energy I have to not burst into tears at her current state. I keep replaying ‘Stay strong Scotty, she needs you’ in my head. 

When I put her down and pull away to grab her a sweater to change into and grab a glass of water she goes into straight panic mode. “please don’t go, please Scotty” 

I rush back to her side, take her face in my hands and reassure her I'm not going anywhere, just to the bathroom and my suitcase. It seems shes cut up her knee and needs a band-aid and definitely won't be sleeping in those clothes, so I grab her a sweater. 

The look in her eyes, its something I've never seen before. Her eyes have glassed over and lost their light. They are a deeper, darker green and it looks as if all the life has been taken out of her. 

I remember when I told myself earlier that I hoped to find Tessa in one piece.

Instead, she's found me and is in a million pieces. 

But ill put every last one back, no matter how long it takes. 

When I come back with the sweater, band-aid and water, her clothes are lying in a pile on the floor. If she wasn’t an absolute mess I would be all over her in a second, but that's not appropriate right now. 

She’s drunk out of her mind and the last thing she needs is me being a horndog. 

When she slides the sweater over her head I see a few reddish bruises around her hips and under her boobs, also on her ass. How the fuck did those get there? I know she wouldn’t cheat in a million years, she’s too good for that. 

What the fuck happened in those few hours. 

If some guy even took one look at her or laid even a pinky finger on her and I find out who it was, he’s a dead man walking. 

Killing whoever it was can wait until morning though, Tess needs to sleep and needs me to be with her right now.

I turn off the light and slide under the covers. She’s got me in a death grip before my feet are even on the bed. Her head is resting on my chest, I can feel her tears on my chest, she’s trying to be strong, as always. Even when she’s drunk and alone with me she’s still trying to fight. I would be lying if I said that doesn’t break me a little. 

So I squeeze her tight, letting her know its ok to let it out, without having to say anything. She relaxes a bit, lets out a struggled gasp/scream/cry for help. I don't think I was expecting her to actually let herself feel so much, she’s so guarded and private with her emotions, even when she’s drunk off her ass. 

This just proves what today has done to her. 

—- —- —- 

It seems like forever before she finally calms down and drifts off to sleep. Ive never seen her more vulnerable in our entire 19 years. Im pretty sure that's what sends me over the edge with my pent-up emotions from the day. Thinking about all we’ve worked for to get to this point, all the struggles we’ve gone through, the numerous uphill battles but despite it all we’re still here, still fighting, together. 

I let the tears run down my face, no energy to stop them, it needs to come out. So I follow suit with Tessa and cry myself to exhaustion. Eventually drifting off into a blissful, peaceful sleep. 

—- —- —- 

And peaceful it is, until 3:27am when im woken up by Tessa literally ripping herself away from me and making a mad dash to the bathroom. 

I should’ve seen this coming, she’s such a lightweight and going to feel even worse in the morning. Of course, on a travel day. God, I cannot wait to be back in Montreal. 

But none the less she needs my help in whats about to be a really horrendous hour. 

Im holding her hair and rubbing her back within seconds of her rushing to the bathroom. 

I can just tell from her breathing and overall demeanour how literally exhausted she is.

After another 15 minutes, she finally stops puking and just rests her head on the toilet. I reach over her and flush it, because that shit is nasty. I can see her shaking slightly, beads of sweat behind her neck and on her pale forehead. I debate picking her up and taking her back to bed but she’s 100% dehydrated so I can't imagine she’s feeling too strong right now.

What I assume is the dehydration, eventually wins over Tessa repression to throw up anymore because every last thing that was in her stomach has already been puked up from all the alcohol, now its excess shit from god knows where inside her body. 

Once thats done and she finally seems to be past certain death she reaches for my hand to help her up. She grabs me tight, still shaking. I loop one arm around her waist and guide her back to the bed. She clings to my free arm to steady herself, even though she knows she could give me one look and id pick her up so she wouldn’t have to walk at all, which I would much prefer at this point, given her current state. 

Once she’s sitting on the bed I go back to the bathroom, refill her water, grab another bandage for her knee as she cut it up while driving towards the toilet and grab a cold cloth, she definitely has a fever and is still sweating so this should cool her down a bit. 

I set the water on the table, redo her knee and slide into bed one last time that night. 

We resume our hold, and i can feel the heat radiating off her even though I know she’s freezing. Still shaking, I whisper “shh, its ok baby, im here, ive got you, its ok, just go to sleep” and by some miracle, she stops shaking about 5 minutes later and relaxes, finally giving into rest. Its comforting to me, knowing she’s safe here in my arms and that nothing more can hurt her (for now). 

With that thought, I can commit to sleep, for at least another 7 hours. 

—- —- —- 

*TESSAS POV* 

I wake up with the biggest headache ive ever had in my entire life. I don’t even know where I am until I sit up and see a sleeping Scott, confused at first at how I even got here, and then everything comes back. 

The announcement from mf and patch, the drinking, the guy, literally breaking down in front of Scott, the puking and the endless amount of crying. 

Just thinking about it all makes me feel sick. 

Thankfully Scott is the greatest person on the planet and really went out of his way to help me, not that I have any doubts he wouldn’t do it again. There's a glass of water and an Advil on the bedside table and take them within seconds. 

Hes so good to me, always thinking ahead. I love him so much. 

I squeeze out of Scotts hold and make my way to the bathroom. when i initially stand up I stumble backwards, as i am probably at least 20% still drunk.

When i make it to the bathroom, It smells so overwhelming of vomit but I need to shower so im going to have to deal with it. 

When I take off my sweater and look in the mirror the reflection of the person I see scares me. She’s pale and looks small and as if she hasn’t slept in days. And thats just my face. My body looks frail and feels weak and tired, but then my eyes come across the bruises. The bruises from that fucking asshole at the bar. 

Both of my hips have them and there's some under my boobs and on my ass. I hope Scott hasn’t seen them. I shudder at the thought of Scott's potential reaction when I decide to tell him. 

I get into the shower, really taking my time and letting the hot water engulf me. I wash my hair and body slowly, wincing at whenever I touch one of the bruises. 

I feel 100 times better when I step out. I look back into the mirror and am much more pleased with my appearance. The colour has come back to my face and I look and feel much more alive. I nod at myself and slide Scotts sweater back on. 

Its only 8:30 and we dont have to leave for the airport until 2pm so I slide back into bed and drift back to sleep for another couple of hours. 

—- —- —- 

Scotts the first one to wake this time, he’s playing with my dampish hair and has the tv on low, he’s humming a little too. 

I press my head into his chest and give a muffled “good morning” 

I pull back and sit up to face him, a smile on my face. 

Except he’s not smiling, he’s looking at me like a wounded little kid and I know I should’ve expected this. The events of last night could not have been easy. 

“Hey, baby” he whispers “how are you feeling?” He asks as he caresses my face with one hand, I'm assuming he’s low key trying to see if I still have a fever. 

“I'm feeling good, Scotty, really. I mean my head could feel a lot better but other than that I'm ok.” 

He lets out a sigh of relief and leans in to kiss me. Pulls back and rests his forehead on mine, “ I was so worried about you last night tess, ive never seen you like that.” I can hear the fear and worry in his voice. 

“I know” I whisper back “and im so sorry” 

“It's not your fault” he shakes his head furiously “listen to me ok, everything that happened last night was not your fault. Not one bit of it.” 

I know that it wouldn’t have happened if Scott and I were going to tour together as normal, so I nod back, but a lot of last night could’ve been avoided if I didn't go and get piss drunk or groped by some perv. A lot of Scotts worry could’ve been prevented and I feel absolutely horrible about it. 

But there is nothing we can do about it now, we have got to stay strong for each other. Its the only way we’re going to get through this. 

It may only be temporary, but for Scott and I, having different partners is really going to hurt. I haven’t held a different hand on the ice for almost 20 years, it's going to feel like betrayal in the worst kind of way. 

—- —- —- 

Scott gets out of bed, I watch him get dressed, observing his every move while I stay wrapped up under the covers and try to focus on anything but my pounding headache. 

We don't really talk much while he gets ready, just embrace the silence. 

Once he’s ready to go and has all his stuff packed up for the trip home I get out of bed and put on my pants and keep Scotts sweater on and we head up to my room so I can get ready and pack myself up. 

Once we get back to my room Scott plops on the bed and turns on the tv, his stuff stacked in the corner while I change and get into my flight attire, tidy up and pack my stuff, just the same as he did. 

Once im finished and have my stuff over by the door Scott goes to get up but I run over to him and jump onto him, engulfing him in a big hug and projecting us back onto the bed with an ‘oomf’. I try to ignore the immediate pain that radiates as my bruises get hit by Scott's body. 

“Woah kiddo if you wanted a hug all you had to do was ask.” 

“I know, I just thought this would be more fun.” 

He laughs his most sincere laugh and I feel his chest vibrate underneath me and for the first time since finding out the big news, I cant wipe my smile off my face. 

After a few more minutes of staying in our hug, he pats my butt a few times, singling me to get up off of him as we really do need to get to the airport. 

Im so excited to get home, sleep in my own bed and be able to have Scott to myself. I cant help but be nervous at the same time though because after we get home, we only have 2 days off before we head to Gadbois before meeting Lauren and Jeremy. So overall my emotions are bitter-sweet. 

We grab all out stuff and head down the lobby. Marie-France and Patch are already waiting with all their stuff and immediately tense up once they see us. 

I debate saying anything to them, but my instincts take over and I go over and give them both a hug. Its not a nice, loving hug, but more of an ‘i understand and accept this news’ hug. 

Scott doesn’t hug them, just nods and says a sharp “hello”. 

Hes going to soften up eventually. This is happening and there is nothing we can do so we may as well accept it. No matter how much it hurts. 

I know that mf and patch didn't plan this, that they didn't set out for this to happen so I cant hold it against them, its just going to be difficult to really be 100% ok with this decision. 

But hey, im just going to look at it as an opportunity to help an ice dance pair. That's going to get me through this whole mess. 

It still doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense to me as to how Scott and I are going to be able to help Lauren and Jeremy’s partnership/skills if they are on two separate tours.. but I don't make the rules. 

Scott and I pile into the black SUV that will be taking us to the airport, the nice driver puts all of our stuff in the trunk and offers to play some music but we decline. The silence is just as nice. 

I snuggle up to Scott, intertwine our hands and rest my head in the crook of his neck. Its comfortable and feels like home. 

When we arrive at the airport we check our bags, go through customs and head towards our gate. Scotts a little out of it so I take charge and get us where we need to go. I think last night has taken more out of him then I realized. He’s been a lot more touchy and needy today, which I obviously don't mind, but its a little worrisome. 

Once I have Scott seated and playing on his phone at the gate I tell him im going to get us some food. He nods, gives me a bright smile and I head off in the direction of food. 

I hit up some weird food vendor and get Scott a burger and fries and get myself a wrap with fries as well, along with some waters. 

When I get back Scott is laughing at some video on his phone, probably the ‘worst plays of the month’ on Sportsnet. He loves those videos. 

I hand him his food and sit down on the floor in front of him to eat mine. 

“Thanks, babe” 

I smile back “anytime love” 

—- —- —- 

It seems like 40years pass by before we take off. 

We boarded about 45minutes after we finished eating and were supposed to be taking off pretty quickly after boarding, but if I know anything about plane rides, its that they are always behind schedule, always. 

So Scott and I just sit in our seats, I'm scrolling through movies on the little tv in front of me and Scotts already asleep. Shocker. 

Once the plane finally starts to take off I immediately grab Scotts hand, its just instinct- plane starts to move, Tessa takes scotts hand.

I dont sleep much this plane ride but Scott sleeps through at least 8 of the 11 hours. 

I just read books and watch some movies, snack a little, buy the wifi so I can go on Twitter and Instagram, reply to a few emails and just browse the Internet. 

Im not really one for tabloids but im so bored I may as well indulge. I click on one about some Kardashian scandal and am about to go to the next page of the article when I see at the bottom of the page 

BREAKING NEWS: CANADIAN FIGURE SKATERS TESSA VIRTUE AND SCOTT MOIR BREAK OFF THEIR PARTNERSHIP DAYS AFTER WINNING WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP 

Im 100% certain my heart stops beating and all instincts to breathe are gone and I am slowly dying from lack of oxygen. 

I feel bad for Scott as I am squeezing his hand so tight he wakes up, then takes a look at me, and whisper yells “Tessa. For god sakes BREATHE” as he rubs my back.

I let out a giant gasp.

How has the press already found out about the tours and how could they possibly manipulate it to seem something so horrible. i mean whats happening is horrible, but nothing like this. 

I look at Scott, he’s still confused so I show him the link and he is straight up furious. 

“this is bull shit,” he says 

I nod back. 

He lets out a sigh and grabs his pillow and smothers himself. 

I don't think I should read any further but I really want to know what other made-up shit they pulled out of their asses to come up with this headline. 

So I click on the link and have lots of regrets, immediately. 

There is a picture of me stumbling out of the bar last night, with the caption ‘Canada’s sweetheart Tessa Virtue drinks away her sorrows after calling it quits with partner of 19 years Scott Moir’ 

I shudder at the caption but keep reading. 

There is a little paragraph about how an insider has said “ever since their comeback, things haven’t been the same between them. Their connection isnt as organic and natural, it just all seems so forced. They both are truly miserable.” 

Then another paragraph about how the comeback was really for media purposes and that we have run out of money and sponsorship deals, so our bank accounts need some love. 

Its taking everything in me not to scream and kill someone. 

I didn't notice that Scott was reading it beside me until he says “how can someone write that shit tess? They don't know us, they don't have insiders, our connection is better than ever. What the fuck?” 

My blood is boiling and I think im going to have a panic attack, so I close my laptop, hand it to Scott and race walk to the bathroom. 

I splash some water on my face and try to slow my breathing, it's not working. I feel sick and am ready to explode. 

There's a soft knock at the door and a whisper “tess, let me in” 

Its Scott. 

I open the door to the tiniest bathroom on the planet and let him in. Once he’s barely in and can squeeze the door closed he pulls me into a hug. The hug is a little too tight and I wince because my bruises are still very fresh. I try not to squeak at the pain but a little one comes out and he notices. 

“it's just a tabloid baby,” he says “ don't let it get to you, we know the truth and that's all that matters.” 

I have no idea how he is so calm these days. 

Must be the sex. 

He loosens his hold and my breathing finally slows and synchs with his, im so grateful for this ability of ours. 

“I know, it's just so infuriating and unfair. And I can't believe they caught me leaving the bar drunk off my ass yesterday. Scott I'm so embarrassed.” 

He pauses for a minute thinking but eventually responds, slowly. “That pic was from yesterday?” 

“yeah, that's where I went after finding out the news.” 

“oh..” He trails off “I-I went there yesterday, looking for you, but I guess I didn't look hard enough” 

He sounds almost angry? 

I don't really know how to reply so I just shove my head into his chest a little more, but he pushes away. 

Ok, he’s definitely upset. Over what I have no idea but I can guess I'm going to find out. 

He puts his hands on my shoulders and removes me from his grasp, so I'm standing in front of him. His eyes scan my body, curiously. 

“Scott, what is it?” 

This is 100% not the place for an argument but it looks unavoidable at this point. 

He ponders for a minute, almost as if he’s questioning whether he should bring said unknown issue up. 

“Those red marks and bruises, all over your body. Where did they come from.” 

Fuck. 

He must’ve seen them while I was still drunk, that's the only time I can think of. But why does he feel the need to bring it up now?

“Scott I don't wanna talk about this in the bathroom of an airplane. Cant it wait until we land?”

“Did you cheat on me?” He asks as he looks away 

To say im shocked at that accusation would be an understatement “Oh my god, Scott, of course not, I would never.” I say as I take his face in my hands and force his eyes back to meet mine “never.” 

He nods, takes my hands away from his face but asks again “then where are they from Tess?” 

I sigh and put my hands on my hips, still unable to comprehend the fact we are actually having this conversation in an airplane bathroom. 

“Ok, but you have to promise not to freak out” 

He nods, nervously. 

I jump up and sit on the sink. I need to be sitting for this, as at this moment I cant trust my legs to keep me standing. he stis down on the closed toilet seat, definetly not ready for what im about to spill. 

“so, you obviously know I did not take the news of the tour and shit well yesterday. When I left the arena, I was going to go back to the hotel and order a couple bottles of cheap wine and drink away my sorrows in the comfort of my own room. But then I thought of you and was way too upset to let you see me fall apart. Which in the end obviously didn't work and I'm so sorry for that. Seriously, Scott, you won't ever know how horrible I feel for putting you through that.” 

He doesn’t say anything, just keeps his eyes on mine and grabs my hand and gives it a soft squeeze. 

I continue. 

“I decided instead of going back to the hotel, to go to a nearby bar, one close enough to the hotel so I could get back safely. When I walked in, I went straight to the bar and ordered a bunch of shots and downed them all. I cant really remember how long into my stay before I got super drunk, but people kept buying me drinks..”

Scott cringes, hard, lets go of my hand and looks down, still not saying a word. 

“so I accepted them, with nothing other than the intention to drink them and walk away. Then I ended up at a table with a few guys, still, not having done anything but accept their drinks. Eventually, I started to feel sick and was in desperate need of some water and to not be around those revolting men anymore.” 

I take in a deep breath and know that this part is really going to equally hurt and piss him off. 

“I excused myself from the table and made my way over to the bar to get some water and begin to sober up, but before I could get there..”

I stop mid-sentence because I dont wanna think about it. The strange man's hands all over me, groping me and holding me so tight it hurt. 

I repress the urge to cry but I let a tear escape. I was so fucking scared. 

“This guy, he uh, grabbed me.” 

Scotts eyes shoot up from the floor and search mine, watching my tears flow, slowly, but they still fall. 

“He grabbed me and dragged me onto the dance floor, he had a really tight grip on my hips and I could barely move without his fingers digging deeper into my skin, and we were in the middle of a big crowd so I couldn’t escape. I thought that if I danced he might loosen his grip, and he did. Then I saw a waiter walk through the crowd with a tray of water, so I grabbed a glass and downed it, without realizing it was actually vodka. I think that's what did it for me, the amount of vodka I inhaled in 15 seconds really sent me over the edge and I couldn’t think clearly even if my life depended on it.” 

I stop and try to collect myself, it's not working so I continue. 

“ Then he started to whisper all these horrible, disgusting things to me and all I wanted to do was run away and kick him in the nuts but my mind was so fucked up I couldn’t. He knew this, so he started groping me, hard. His hands were everywhere, my ass, my boobs, my hips. He was so rough, not caring about how much he was hurting me or about how tight his grip really was. Then he eventually took it upon myself to basically start licking my neck, leaving sloppy whatever the fuck you call it all along the exposed part of my shoulders and neck. He eventually got tired of me resisting his touch and decided I needed more alcohol in my system, as soon as I couldn’t see him anymore I ran, as well as I could, out of the bar and back to the hotel, eventually making it back to you.” 

I let out this huge sigh of relief and it feels as if a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. The tears still fall, profusely, but it feels so good to let it out and tell Scott. 

When I look at him, his face is plastered with an emotion I cant read. For the first time in 19 years, I don't know what he’s feeling. At all. 

It seems like forever before either one of us speaks. 

“Scott, say something.” 

“I dont know what to say tess. Other than the fact I want to turn this godforsaken plane around, find that son of a bitch and kill him.” 

There's another long pause as I have no idea how to respond. 

“Why didnt you call me tess? I could’ve helped you, kept you out of that scum’s grasp, killed him right then and there for even looking at you.” 

“I was so drunk Scott I couldn’t even form a sentence that made sense, I was so scared I didn’t know what to do. I just didn't want him to hurt me even more.” 

“All I want is to protect you and keep you safe from people like that, you know that right?” 

“Of course I do. I've always known.” 

“So whats next then tess? Are you ok? Do you wanna talk to someone? What do you need me to do?” 

“I dont know whats next, but right now I'm ok, I will need to talk to someone other than you though, when im ready. And I just need you to be with me. That's enough.” 

I reach out and grab his hand. He’s shaking a little and Im not surprised. I just unloaded a hell of a lot onto him in the restroom of an airplane at 30,000 feet in the air. 

Yet he’s still here. Still sitting on the toilet, looking up at me like his whole world just got taken from him, then holding my hand to his heart, planting soft kisses on my hand and whispering “I love you” over and over. 

He hasn’t ran away, hasn’t gone back to his seat and pretended to sleep for the rest of the trip. 

He won't ignore me and pretend like it never happened. 

He will be there when I have nightmares about it and ill be there when he gets so upset over it he starts to cry. 

Because thats what we do. We are 100% there for each other 100% of the time. No matter what the situation, good or bad. He’s always there. 

And I couldn’t be more thankful. 

—- —- —- 

We finally exit the bathroom, after I wipe my tears and fix myself up. He exits first, leading, still having not let go of my hand. 

When we get back to our seats he sits down, grabs his pillow and puts it on his lap and ushers me to lie down. 

I do. I lie down, wrap myself in my carry on blanket, rest my head on the pillow while his arm is draped around me and get about 2 hours of peaceful, undisturbed sleep. Finally relaxing, knowing I have Scott in my corner, not upset at me for not calling him, but fully invested in keeping me safe. 

He wakes me up about 15 minutes before we start to land. I sit up, mouth an ‘i love you’ to him and start to pack up my stuff. 

—- —- —- 

We get off the plane, pick up Scotts car at the airport parking lot and drive home. 

We haven't said a word since we left the bathroom but I don't mind. 

We sit in conformable silence. I hold his hand as it rests on my thigh and we just let the sounds of the highway and the soft ‘wrr’ of the car fill our ears. 

—- —- —- 

As we pull into the parking garage I really hope Scott doesn’t plan on going back to his house. He has plenty of clothes at my place, even before we were together and I own a washer and dryer so we can wash his stuff too. Im not ready for him to leave, not with our impending doom less than two days away. 

The walk back up to my door is cold, I always forget how cold Canada is when we leave for a bit, the dreaded snowstorm from last week still keeps the grass and trees covered. 

I unlock my door and wheel my stuff inside. 

He does the same. 

I'm not sure what I should do, so I just stand in the doorway, looking into his eyes. He does the same. 

“You're not going to leave, are you?” I ask, quiet and nervously. 

“Not unless you want me too, but I wasn’t planning on leaving your side until, well you when.” 

I nod and move towards him, hug him, and breathe in the security that is Scott Moir.

He doesn’t hug too tight, very aware of what lies underneath my clothes. 

He kisses the top of my head, releases me and walks over to the couch and plops himself down.

“We’ve got some hockey to catch up on virtch.” 

I laugh and make my way over as well and tuck myself under his arm as he starts the leafs game. 

I wish this moment could last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed, even though the number of emotions i feel and assume you feel while reading is a lot to handle. 
> 
> next chapter should be up within a few days. 
> 
> thank you all for sticking with me and reading and loving this story as much as i. 
> 
> xx


	7. precautions and preparation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> scott and tessa finally meet lauren and jeremy, but not without a sea of nerves and worry for their relationship, at least from tessas point of view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys !!!! 
> 
> sorry its taken me so long to get this up, but here it is! 
> 
> not as long as the last couple of chapters and im sorry for that but i promised an update today, its 1am and im exhausted lmao, so i may go through it sometime tomorrow and make some small changes. 
> 
> should be another update within the next 3-4 days! 
> 
> love you all and thank you so so much for reading!

Well, today is the day. 

Scott and I have been avoiding all conversation of skating since we got back. Instead, we’ve been watching movies, eating food, having sex, doing normal couple, non-skater things. 

Which weirdly enough, is so amazing. Finally being able to only focus on each other and not skating, not when we need to start training, which music to pick, nothing. 

Sure, we still go to gym every day and stick to the meal plans and dont eat too much pizza or chocolate. 

But we dont go to the rink, dont think about the rink, we dont even look at our skating bags. 

For these past two days, we’re just a couple who really loves to be healthy and fit. 

But those two days flew by, to say the least. 

The bruises on my body are slowly fading away, they aren’t nearly as prominent anymore and dont hurt much when I touch them, just a dull pain at this point. 

When Scott and I got home and went to bed the first night, he asked if he could look at them, like really look at them. 

I was a little bit reluctant at first but I knew he would have to see them eventually, especially if we were planning on having sex. which i dont know about him, but i was. i found out very quickly we were very much on the same page when it came down to it. 

So I agreed and pulled off my clothes until I was stripped down to my underwear. 

We were lying in bed as he looked, his fingers brushing over all the red, black and blue marks, trying not to press too hard. He did occasionally, accidentally making me wince and pull away. I knew he didnt mean it and he felt horrible, so he planted soft pecks where the marks cover my body. 

The more he looked the more angry he got, you could see the outline of the assholes fingerprints, where he really dug deep. There was a faint handprint on my ass and Scott could barely look at it. When he initially saw that one he immediately pulled his head away and looked at me instead. 

“how could someone ever do this to you, tess?” 

I just shrugged then, because I had and seriously still have no idea how anyone could do something so horrible, and all those other people who do even worse things to other people more vulnerable then me, its devastating. 

He just kissed my shoulder and whispered “im so sorry t, I should’ve been there” 

He shouldn’t have though. It was my decision to go get drunk off my ass and thats the truth. If he had followed me out of the rink and to the bar, sure it might have saved me a traumatic memory or two but I needed to be alone. 

Ive never regretted leaving the rink and going to the bar, or not calling him. 

I put myself in that position and I accept it. No matter how horrible and wrong that guy was for doing what he did.  

It happened, I learned from it, and ill be better because of it. 

Since the first night, Scott and I dont talk about the marks, dont stare at the bruises, and I sure as hell dont throw myself a pity party every chance I get because its done. I occasionally see Scott staring at me though, a dark look in his eyes. Definitely thinking about what happened to me. I dont think he will ever get over what the guy did, and if he ever gets the chance to kill him, he will. 

Scott and I also slept a lot, really took advantage of the time we had to rest up for tour, recharge and get our minds in the right place. 

We also got the chance to talk to marie-france and patch, we really needed to talk to them and it felt good to get all of our worries out in the open and have the really understand where our heads are at. They needed to tell us their side too, as Scott didnt pay much attention the day we got sprung the news and I was off getting smashed, so. Overall, we got everything off our chests and are back to our pre-news relationship. 

I truly think we’re ready for Lauren and Jeremy though. No matter how much we are against it, we are ready to go on tour, endure two months of separation and the inevitable longing for each other. 

There are about two chances we will get to see each other. The first, last week of April I have about four days and am planning on coming home, Scotts break ends the day im supposed to arrive home so if we coordinate our timing, I might be able to get an hour or two of his time. 

The second, his tour ends a few days before mine, so he’s planning on coming to the last show in Vancouver. I guess that doesn’t really count as seeing each other on tour because he will be done, but still. 

The only thing im worried about going into meet Lauren and Jeremy today is the fact that I might really like Jeremy, and skating with him. I could never ever love him like I love Scott and hell I could end up hating him. But that still scares me. Same goes with Scott, that Lauren might be a better skater, lighter and easier to throw around, Scott is such an amazing guy I wouldn’t doubt for a second that Lauren could fall in love with him, just like I did. I dont know what I would do if he decided to leave me for her, start skating with her, leave me fiancé-less and partnerless. 

It would kill me. it would break a piece of me i dont think anyone, not even scott would be able to fix, and that let me tell you, its absolutely terrifying. 

I try and push the thought out of my head as we drive to the rink. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling as if I needed to puke. I feel as if we’re about to go skate for an olympic medal, the nerves are very real. 

Scott just has his hand resting on my thigh as I gaze out the window, the radio providing some background noise. 

When we pull into the rink, I unbuckle my seatbelt and attempt to get out of the car but I cant. My ass is figuratively glued to the seat. My brain wont let myself move, its trying to protect me from whats about to happen. Scott notices after hes already started making his way to the doors, he reaches back for my hand and when no one is there he spins around, a very confused look on his face. 

“tess?” He questions 

“yeah” I sigh back, still sitting. 

“uh, we gotta get inside, Lauren and Jeremy are probably waiting for us.” 

“patch said we didnt have to be at the rink until 10, its only 9:45” 

He laughs awkwardly and makes his way back to the car. He slides in the front seat and grabs my hands. 

“babe, everything is going to be fine. I know youre nervous, im nervous, im sure mf and patch and Lauren and Jeremy are nervous too. “

“i know, I just cant get over the fact its actually happening.” 

He nods back “i know, baby. But we’re going to be ok. We dont leave for another two weeks and we will be spending every waking moment together until then. You know that nothing is going to happen to us while we’re separated, you know that I love you with everything in me and will not let two people who cant work out their own partnership get in the way of that. Lets not rush away the two weeks of training left, we need to be present and here and with each other before thinking about the tours.” 

I let out a deep breath and feel way better now. Scott always knows when and how to reassure me when I start to get into my own head. Its like he knows exactly what im thinking all the time. It freaked me out a little at first, when we were younger, but now its just so comforting. 

So I take a deep breath, he squeezes my hands one last time and lets go, then we both exit the car together. 

We walk into the rink hand in hand. The rink is completely empty other than four figures on the ice. 

We obviously assume that its marie, patch, Lauren and Jeremy. 

I can tell immediately that Jeremy is taller than Scott, Lauren looks so tiny next to him, almost like Meagan when she’s beside Eric. They looks more like a pairs couple than an ice dance one from Scott and I’s perspective, so thats probably their first issue. 

As some people say, “if you cant jump, dance.”. Its annoying, because what Scott and I do takes so much hard work, its somewhat offensive when people say ice dancing is a downgrade form pairs or singles. Id like to see some of the pairs do the goose, or try our rotational lifts. Bet you anything they wouldn’t be able too. 

We sneak into the change rooms without being seen by everyone to put on our skates and our sweaters and such. 

Im really jittery, Scott notices, doesn’t say anything though. He just rests his hand on my knee as a comforting measure. He’s already said all he can, I know it, he knows it, we just have to suck it up now. 

Once we’re done I take a in a big deep breath, nod towards Scott and we make off, out of the change room towards the ice. 

Jeremy and Lauren are doing some step sequences hen we come into their line of sight. Both of them screech to a halt, in unison as soon as they see us. Im not really sure what the feeling is in the rink right now, all I know is that im super uncomfortable and am fighting every urge to jump and hide behind Scott. 

Mf and patch however, are completely different. Both immediately skate over and embrace us both. “so good to have my babies back!” Marie squeals. 

Patch just smiles his little smile while nodding in agreement. 

Lauren and Jeremy have slowly made their way over to us by the time we’re done with mf and patch. 

As soon as they’re face to face with us, I feel Scott tense up and stand up a little straighter, I put on my best smile and introduce us. 

“Hi, you must be Lauren and Jeremy. Im Tessa, this is Scott. Its so lovely to finally meet you both.” I extend my hand and Lauren takes it first, smiling back, very genuinely then says  “Hi Tessa, Scott. Jeremy and I are also super excited to finally be face to face with legends like you two!” if we are solely going off of first impressions, I would say she seems really nice.

If im going to make assumptions, Lauren is the outgoing one and Jeremy is the quiet, more conservative one of the two. Opposite of Scott and I. Jeremy shakes hands with Scott and gives a respectable “Scott Moir, wow man its really great to meet you.” Scott just nods back and gives a generic “you too man, you too.”

Then I shake Jeremys hand. Large and warm, strange and new. Hands I will soon become very accustomed to. He gives me a smile and small nod accompanied with a “hello, Tessa” while looking deep Into my eyes. 

He is going to be trouble, no doubt about it. 

I smile back at him and turn my attention to Scott and Lauren. He seems to have relaxed a bit and the two are already chatting about something hockey related. They’ve already hit it off. Im happy for him, glad that him and Lauren will be good together. 

*no youre not* my Brain says back. 

Its true though, im not happy for him. I want him to hate her, to be miserable without me to skate with. 

Becasue i know im going to be, every god damn second. 

“Ok you four, time to get going. Go skate a few laps to warm up Tessa and Scott, it’ll give you a chance to say a temporary goodbye to your on-ice relationship while Lauren and Jeremy say goodbye to each other.” 

We all nod as Scott and I take off. Ive got him in a death grip, holding onto his hand and arm for dear fucking life. I thought I could handle it, but 30 seconds in and im already falling apart. 

“Relax, T. Just remember we get to go home together in four hours. Its all going to be fine. Jeremy seems like a good guy so far and Laurens super sweet. We’re all going to survive.” 

“I know, I know.” i nod back

We skate another two laps before mf gives us the ‘ok lets go’ look.

We stop at the centre line of the rink. Jeremy waiting for me with patch on one side and Lauren waiting for Scott on the other with Marie-france. 

We mouth ‘i love you’ at the same time, releasing our hands, and skate away from each other.

When I reach Jeremy and patch the first thing he tells us to do is to go skate 10laps of our half of the rink, holding hands and talking. We need to have a crash course on each other if we want tour to go well.  

So, Jeremy reaches out his hand “shall we?” 

I try and muster a smile and take his hand. 

My hand doesn’t feel nearly as safe and snug in Jeremys hand as it does in Scotts. But this is my job so im going to have to pretend it does. On one of the laps I make eye contact with Scott and he’s giving Jeremy some serious looks. 

If Scott was any closer or was allowed too, he would be over here in a second to rip Jeremys arm off. its comforting to know hes jealous. 

I try and give him a reassuring look, but Lauren says something that regains his attention before I can muster a proper reaction to his look. 

There are five things I learn about Jeremy during our laps. 

1\. Hes allergic to avocados  
2\. He always thought he would end up being a baseball player, not an ice dancer.   
3\. Hes been skating with Lauren for about 10 years now   
4\. He doesn’t like to show emotion outright, he always keeps in inside him until he’s alone. Lauren has always tried to get it out of him but he wont do it. This is one of the problems with their partnership, she feels as if he keeps too much inside and he thinks she shouldn’t express as much as she does. So I shouldn’t get offended if he seems quiet or snippy with me, he’s just trying to keep it together.   
5\. Him and Lauren were forced into ice dance when they utterly failed at pairs skating. (shocker) He could never learn to jump properly and Lauren never trusted him enough to literally chuck her across the ice. They transitioned into ice dancing about 6 years ago. 

Jeremy in turn, learns 5 things about me. 

1\. I would die for hall and oats   
2\. I love poached eggs and its the only thing I can cook, So dont ask me to cook anything else.

When I tried to mention any of Scott and i’s history he would reply “ Ive spent the last two weeks googling the shit out of you guys, I dont want to learn 5 things about Tessa and Scott, I want 5 facts about Tessa.” 

He said it with such a stern tone and fierce eyes I got a little scared. But I nodded anyway and continued. 

3\. Sleep is my kryptonite so If we have early morning skates (which we will because of the insanely close start date of our tour) he’s not allowed to say a word to me until at least 8am.   
4\. If i could go anywhere in the world right now, it would be paris (with scott, but i leave that part out.)   
5\. The key to my heart is coffee. 

Its a respectable start to our newfound partnership and I think we could potentially be friends.

Im just worried we are a little too much alike. In the sense of keeping in our emotions and being more reserved than our partners. I know we aren’t competing, but I dont plan on going into soi and showing off horrible, messy programs. We need to be on the same page, we will need to communicate. 

When we’re done our laps, patch gives us a crash course in what will be happening the next couple of weeks before the tour starts. 

This week, will be spent here, learning our 2 solo programs. Next week, we will be going up to hamilton to learn the group numbers with the rest of the cast and further practice our solo programs.

I thought we had two weeks here, and then one week in hamilton. Not one week here, then one week in hamilton. I guess i got scott and i’s tour dates mixed up. 

His tour starts later and ends earlier as they dont have as many venus booked. 

So thats great news, another week being scott-less. my already less than impressed mood has jsut gotten alot worse. 

Patch also lets us know that our programs have already been choreographed with music. Because of worlds, there wouldnt be enough time to go through the whole process of music selection and countless hours revamping the programs until they are deemed perfection.

Lauren and jeremy have pre recorded both programs with them doing it for reference and studying purposes for me. Jeremy already has most of it memorized, i just need to pick it up.  

After watching them both back, im quite happy with what i see, obviously they aren't like the usual routines i would do with scott, but they're fun and uplifting. Nothing sexy or sensual (thank god). They will definitely be fun to perform and thats all that matters.

So jeremy and i spend the next god knows how long going over the first routine. I pick it up pretty quickly. If i forget or miss a step, jeremy doesnt say anything rude or demeaning, just tells me what i forgot or what i accidently did 4 counts too early. 

Its nice, skating with him, its comfortable and calm and just nice. It doesnt give me the same exhilaration of when i skate with scott, but its a different kind of feeling. Something new and exciting yet so harmonious and gratifying. my mood definitely lightened as the day continued.

By the end of the day i feel good, really good. Jeremy is quite sarcastic so that adds in some humor to the training.hes really nice and doubts himself too much. he is also crazy flirtatious so its a good thing scott has been out of earshot the whole day. 

Hes so different from scott, its so interesting. Getting to learn all the ins and outs of this new persons body and personality. Scott is strong and safe and secure in his skating ability and overall self and jeremy is even stronger yet so unpredictable, with his emotions and his skating.hes always in his head, just like me. I can feel his inexperience with certain lifts or in some step sequences, its alot terrifying when it comes to the lifts.

I have never once ever thought scott would drop me, but whenever jeremy goes to even lift me off the ground my heart stops. Its unnerving and such an unusual feeling. I dont like it, and i hope it goes away, but hey, if i fall flat on my head and die, i die. 

I definitely started warming up to jeremy more and more as the day went on. I can feel the blossoming friendship and camaraderie, he didnt drop me once, almost a few times, but he didnt, so i can see myself eventually trusting him, eventually. 

On one of the times he almost did, lauren and scott were taking a break, just chatting with mf, watching us, not too closely, but still watching. We were doing a simple throw when the gap of his arms was much too large and i almost slipped right through him. He just barely caught me, my ass inches from the ice. 

The gasps that came from the three of them were enough for me to force a break.

Scott probably had a near death experience thanks to that, ill for sure be hearing about it later. 

Jeremy apologized profusely for the next hour at least. I didnt and still dont really have an answer because scott has never almost dropped me, so i just kinda nod my head, mutter an “its ok!” and squeeze his arm reassuringly. 

We get through all of our stuff about 30 minutes before the end of our ice time, so jeremy and i just sit in the bleachers, watching scott and lauren, making small talk. 

They look so good together, scott and lauren. They glide across the ice, laughing at scotts jokes, then laughing at hers. They're programs are a lot like jeremy and i’s; fun, upbeat, not sexually fuelled.  

Scott catches her so softly in the exit of their lifts, their hands fit together as nicely as scott and i’s do, it looks as if they've been dancing together forever. 

Its exactly what i was afraid of.

The only thing keeping me from screaming and turning majorly possessive Is the fact i  just keep telling myself that “its his job, his job is to make them look like they've been together forever, his job to make it look so good.”

It works, but not to the extent i need it too. 

Scott and lauren finish up at one last run through of one of their two programs. Jeremy gets up to greet lauren at the boards and i hang back and wait for scott in the change room. 

He walks in, drops all his stuff on the floor, strides over to me, takes my face in his hands and kisses me, hard. 

I smirk under the kiss, but never break it. 

He pulls back after a minute or two and just smiles at me. 

“Today, my love, was fucking hell. Let's get out of here.” 

I just nod and laugh back at him, then extend my hand out for him to grab. 

Thats the difference between scott and i’s partnership and mine with jeremy and soctts with lauren. 

There is no ‘goodbye see you tomorrow’ or ‘so whos bringing the coffee?’

Its purely skating, no real, deep, connection between partners. Its our job. I would be lying if i said i didn't love the fact its like this. 

We leave the rink without saying a word to our new partners, and they dont say anything to us. 

This, my friends, is what an actual business relationship looks like. 

I smirk to myself as scott and i leave the parking lot, hands still intertwined. We may not be together on the ice right now, but i get to go home with him, and that's the best thing, ever.

The frustration of me dancing with jeremy and scott dancing with lauren really comes out when we get home. 

We basically jump each other before we are even in the door. Once we’re in, he throws our skating bags across the room, picks me up and pushes me against the wall. We make-out, losing articles of clothes as we get more and more into it. 

We do make it to my bedroom, surprisingly. 

Everything moves so quickly and scott wastes no time getting right too it.

Its rough and aggressive, passionate and lust filled.Its the ‘you're mine and only mine and you better believe/accept it’ kind of sex. 

Jealous scott is one of my favorite types of scott, this being another reason why, and im so here for it. If our sex life is going to be this great after four + hours of rigorous skating and new partners, sign me up. 

Once we finish, we're just lying in each others arms, tangled up in the sheets, listening to our breathing, its like the world has stopped and its just scott and i. But thats how it always feels, asif scott and i are the only two peple on the planet whenever we're toegther. its such a raw, intense, pure type of love.

I know hes asleep and i dont blame him, its been a crazy day. So i just play with his hair and think, about our future, skating and in life. How many kids we’re going to have, what we’re going to do every night once we are too old to skate anymore and the kids are all moved out. I also wonder if we will have grandkids, will they all skate? What will our wedding night be like? What will our first house look like? I have an endless amount of questions, that i cannot wait to one day answer, together. 

I just wish he was awake because according to my tour schedule, we’ve only got about 6 days of this left

for two whole fucking months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope yall liked it! not as much emotional turmoil as the last chapter eh? 
> 
> xx


	8. Tessas Tour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa embarks on her stars on ice journey, without Scott.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GODDD 
> 
> ITS UPPPP 
> 
> i am so incredibly proud of this chapter and I hope you guys love it as much as I do. 
> 
> I am SO SO sorry for making you wait this long for the chapter and I don’t plan on making you wait this long for Scott’s tour. 
> 
> I love you all so much and thank you for sticking with me.
> 
> Also omg this is the longest chapter I’ve ever wirrten holy. 20,000 words is a lot folks
> 
> Ps: couldn’t have gotten this up today without the help of miss liv

PRESENT DAY 

Well, the time has finally (and sadly) arrived. 

I leave today.

I leave Scott, Montreal, my apartment, and everything remotely comfortable.

Scott has another week left here with Lauren before they head to Calgary to kick start their tour. 

Scott sits on my bed, attempting to watch the leafs game that’s on tv, but is mostly watching me as I finish packing up and getting ready for him to take me to the airport. I can feel his eyes on me without actually having to turn around. 

So when I do decide turn around and undoubtedly catch him looking at me, his face turns a bright shade of red and he immediately tries to hide the goofy embarrassed smile on his face. 

I just smile at him and say “why don’t you take a picture? It’ll last longer.” 

He just laughs and runs his hands through his hair, then falls back onto the bed and I turn back to my suitcase to continue strategically packing my socks. 

—- —- —- 

What Tessa doesn’t see is the fact Scott is staring at her because he’s trying to mentally record every single second of the last hours he has left with her for two months. 

So when she turns on Hall and Oats to help her pack and once she inevitably starts to dance around and sing her heart out, he takes out his phone, presses record and sets it up on her side table. A few verses in she turns around to him, completely unaware of the recording, continues to sing while dancing over to him, eventually taking his head in her hands, places a soft kiss on his lips and whispers “Scott Moir, you make my dreams come true. I love you.” 

Tears fill her eyes, full of emotion, even though she’s got the smile that only comes out when she’s around Scott plastered on her face, they both know she’s far from happy. 

She’s smiling because she’s so stupidly in love and him just sitting on her bed, watching her pack instead of screaming at the refs or the players in the leafs game that’s on tv, she knows that it’s only the beginning of a lifetime of love, a lifetime of love that’s going to have to be put on pause for two months. It might not sound that long, but they’ve spent almost every waking second of the past decade together, and now that they’re admittedly in love and together, two months away is two months too long. 

So she rests her forehead on his and they both close their eyes and take a deep breath in, trying to rationalize the situation and not get too emotional. His hands are now on her hips, rubbing slowly up and down her sides, trying to comfort her as she’s shaking slightly from the rush of emotion. When Scott reopens his eyes, Tessa’s still closed, he sees a single tear run down her face. 

They stay like this for what seems an eternity, just taking in each others presence, listening to their synced breathing and trying to keep this moment locked in time and space forever. 

But tour awaits and Tessa has to meet Jeremy at the airport in 2 hours.

So she lifts her head and plants a kiss on his forehead, then turns away and continues to pack. 

Scott gets every single second of their little moment on tape.

It would become something he can’t live without and would eventually go on to rewatch it every night on tour before he commits to sleep in his hotel room, in a random city in his breathtaking country, alone, without his beautiful girl.

—- —- —- 

So the moment ends and I have to get back to packing. 

Of course now both Scott and I are emotionally distraught, but what else is new at this point, with all the shit that has gone down these past two weeks.

So I finish packing in silence and he just keeps on hand on some part of my body the entire rest of the time we’re together at home. Whether it’s on my butt or my leg or the small of my back or my arm. 

It’s so sincere and necessary and it feels like i’m going away for years or to a death sentence, not for only two months for a fucking ice skating tour. 

I eventually do finishing packing and it seems somewhat of a miracle because by the time we have to leave Scott and I are snuggled up on my (our) bed, legs intertwined, my head on his chest and he’s playing with my hair, humming softly to himself. 

I also have an arm draped across his chest, hugging him close. I could seriously stay like this forever and I don’t think it would be too much of a stretch to say Scott feels the same way. 

But as luck would have it, the alarm on my phone goes off. 

It’s time to go. 

So I pat his chest, kiss him and stand up. “Time to go scotty boy” I say as I reach out a hand for him to grab. 

“okay kiddo, let’s go.” He grabs my hand and gives it a soft squeeze. 

He grabs my suitcase with one hand, I grab my carry on and my purse, hands still interlocked as we walk out the door towards his car. 

—- —- —- 

6 DAYS EARLIER 

So its day two of training and I am not nearly as nervous as I was yesterday. 

Mf and patch send Scott and I Lauren and Jeremy’s numbers a few days ago so I chatted to both of them over text last night, same with Scott. They’re both really nice and they don’t seem too crazy (yet).

So when we pull up to the rink at 8:50am, im confident and ready to tackle another day of training and getting to know Jeremy. 

I can see Scott feels the same, other than the fact Lauren drives him absolutely insane and he’s not sure how he’s going to survive an entire two months attached to her at the hip. 

I quote, “she’s the annoying little kid next door that your parents force you to babysit when your 13 because it’s the ‘neighbourly thing to do.’”

Yeah, He really doesn’t like her. 

I think he’s a little bit jealous that he’s not the loudest one in the room anymore and the fact that the partner I was given doesn’t drive me up the wall. 

When we walk into the rink, Lauren and Jeremy are talking while lacing up their skates, mf and patch are warming up, doing laps around the rink, holding hands, chatting. Its so cute and I can’t wait for Scott and I to one day be coaches, just like them. 

We both say hello to the four of them and walk over to the change room to put on our own skates, not talking about much, just about some of Scotts lifts and how Lauren wants to do the goose but Scott refuses because she’s heavier than me, but I know its because he never ever will do our signature lift with anyone else. It’s like an unwritten rule, just something we know we dont do with other people even without having discussed it. I tell him how the programs Jeremy and I are working on lack passion because we still barely know each other and that I hope we dont look like soulless corpses on the ice during the tour. Scott just laughs at the comment and ushers me to tie my skates faster. 

When we get on the ice and start to do warm up laps, patch reminds us we must do it with our new partners, not each other. 

Scott rolls his eyes then turns towards Lauren. 

I just smile and nod and make my way over to Jeremy, grab his too large and stiff of a hand and start to skate laps. We talk about our evenings and plans for the day after we get off from training, or how he cant stand meal plans and how Lauren always has to cook for him because he can’t even pour a bowl of cereal without making a mess. I just laugh and am totally content with the small talk. We also go over what we want to get done today, how fast we need to progress in order to be tour ready in a few days. 

Overall the conversation is good, feels like a real, somewhat natural friendship. 

—- —- —-

Training with Jeremy is considerably different than training with scott. He always feels the need to apologize to patch when either of us mess up and patch always gives him a little sideways glance as to be saying ‘son, this is what practice is for’ but he doesn’t ever actually say it. 

The lifts we are doing are obviously not as complex or dangerous as the ones Scott and I do but they’re still pretty cool. We’ve got a few variations on a number of Scott and i’s old lifts and it’s fun to make little changes. 

Jeremy slides in a joke or two throughout the day and it’s nice to see him open up to me a little more as the day progresses.

My favourite of the two single programs we’re doing is one to the song “want to want me” by Jason Derulo. Its upbeat and spunky and really gives Jeremy and I room to have fun with it and have a genuinely good time on the ice. The song always puts me in a good mood when I hear it come on and I can’t help but dance to it. 

The rest of our day flies by, we’re making really great progress and I basically have all the moves down for our numbers. I know it won’t take much to get to know the group numbers, those are never too complicated. 

So im feeling good. Probably too good as whenever I glance over at Scott I can tell he is really not doing well. It’s not that Lauren is bad or that she’s too heavy (she’s easily 10 pounds lighter than me but Scott would never say it) it’s really just the fact she acts like she’s 12. All the time. When she’s with Jeremy she calms down instantly, maturing and acting her age. As soon as he’s gone though she’s back to being the annoying little sister Scott never asked for. 

I feel bad, I really do, especially with how Jeremy and I are getting along so well. But hey, if anyone can handle Lauren and her clinginess, its Scott (at least I hope). 

The only issue I have with Jeremy is the fact he is so unstable during lifts. Everywhere else I trust him fully (almost fully), but then as soon as im about to be chucked into the air or balance on his legs or shoulders or whatever I lose every ounce of trust I have in him. It doesn’t help that I can feel him shake underneath me, which does not ease my worry at all. 

But we get through another practice of me holding my breath the entire time and hoping to god he gets miraculously stronger in the next week. 

—- —- —- 

The thing is though, he doesn’t. 

He doesn’t get stronger and the worry increases everyday that during one of our lifts im going to be accidentally chucked across the ice and have my head be split open and die in Scott’s arms. 

Dramatic I know, but I just really don’t want to die, or get hurt for that fact, especially with it being an olympic year. 

He’s just SO unstable I can’t ever stop thinking about it. 

Scott and patch both give him numerous detailed pointers on how to be more stable and feel more confident in his ability to hold me up and keep me from getting hurt. I’m barely pushing 120 pounds for god sakes, should not be this difficult to hold me up for 10 seconds. 

I can tell he’s really taking in the advice but it’s just not clicking with him. 

So, I really shouldn’t be surprised when he does finally drop me. 

We’re about halfway through practice on day four and have two days until Jeremy and I leave for tour and we’re running through our Jason Derulo number. We have this fun lift where i’m only holding onto Jeremys left arm while spinning around, my legs are free and in a split position. 

We’ve done it about 400 times in the past few days and all of them i’ve felt pretty secure with him. Trust slowly building. 

Scott and Lauren are on a break and I can tell they’re excited to see the lift in action. I had been talking to Scott a lot about how much I love it and would like to potentially incorporate it into one of our Olympic programs.

When we go to enter the lift and I initially grab onto his arm I immediately feel him tense, he’s never tensed up before/during a life before so i’m slightly confused and definitely concerned. 

He can’t be this nervous. It’s just scott, lauren, mf and patch today. How is he going to perform in front of thousands of people? 

But we’re skating too fast to stop now. So we spin in circles, slowly my feet leaving the ground when his grip on me slips. He’s supposed to have one hand holding mine and his other clutched on my arm when the one on my arm loosens. Him holding onto my arm is imperative and it slipping means this is going downhill and fast. 

I know i’m going down the second it slips and start to brace for impact.

I hear him swear under his breath, attempting to regain his grip but it’s too late. 

About 5 seconds later im flung, literally flung onto the ice and am sliding into the boards with a soft ‘thud’ 

Lauren screams, Jeremy stands in the middle of the ice like a fucking statue, marie and patch gasp and again, i’m pretty sure Scotts heart stops. 

My butt takes most of the impact but my legs and back are also feeling it. My head doesn’t take the initial blow but does eventually smack into the ice, leaving a ringing in my ears. I also feel a stinging sensation in my legs after I touch down and i’m pretty sure i’ve cut one of my legs with one of my skates. 

Scotts over to me in 0.1 seconds after I hit the boards and to say he is freaking out is an understatement. He’s already holding me and crying slightly when the world comes back into full focus. 

“tess, baby, are you ok? Oh my god.” 

Other than the blood pouring from my leg, my splitting headache and the very probable bruised tailbone, I think im ok. 

So I just nod back at Scott and try to give him a smile. Its weak, but its a smile nonetheless. 

“help me up, please” I whisper to him while reaching his for his arm to steady me. 

He nods, scoops me up and skates towards the boards. I’m really dizzy and my one leg hurts too much to walk so I don’t protest. When I look back the other four on the ice, marie and patch are skating after us and Lauren and Jeremy just stand in the middle of the rink, frozen in spot. I can, however see the tears running down Laurens face and the look of utter shock on Jeremys face. 

I hear marie tell patch to call and ambulance and I definitely think it’s unnecessary and Scott is perfectly capable of driving me but I don’t have the energy to argue at the moment. 

Scott takes his skates off faster than I’ve ever seen before and has one of mine off before I even realize he’s undoing them. 

My leg stings like a bitch and my headache is annoying as shit. I just hold pressure to my leg and close my eyes so I don’t have to stare at the bright arena lights anymore. 

when Scott sees me close my eyes he freaks out. I should’ve warned him. 

“tess! Do NOT close your eyes!!!” 

I reach for his hand with my free one and tell him “the lights are too bright Scott, I just need to not look them right now. My head hurts.” 

“oh, okay, sorry.” He replies, quietly 

“its ok, babe. Dont worry. I’m going to be fine, seriously. Just a few war wounds.” 

“looks like more than just a few war wounds to me kiddo” He says nervously.

I smile weakly and sit quietly, eyes still closed with my hand in Scotts every once in a while squeezing slightly to remind him yes in fact I am still with him while we wait for the ambulance. 

—- —- —- 

When I said I would be fine I meant it. No concussion (thankfully) I just shook my brain up a little. No deep laceration to my leg, just a flesh wound that bled a lot that would heal nicely and probably not even leave a scar and a bruised tailbone that will heal within a week or two, I just cant be dropped on my ass again. 

I have a big ass bandage on the inside of my left calf from where I cut myself and that’s about as much medical care I received from the hospital other than “go home, rest, sleep it off and you’ll be ok in the morning.” 

When we got home from the hospital, Scott went from worried doting finance to furious protective Scott about 3 seconds after I was settled in bed and no longer needed his assistance (which to be frank I never needed originally). 

I thought Jeremy may get his head ripped off the next time Scott. 

I’ve seen Scott mad,

For example, when marina in 2013 all of the sudden started spending more and more time with Meryl and Charlie and basically forgetting we exist. He would kick things, swear, go get drunk or hook up with some random bitch (the last one always hurt the most but I would never tell him that). 

I’ve also seen Scott angry, 

For example, when Igor would give me those ‘sweetie you can’t be over 115 pounds at 18’ look and then go onto to complain that if I got too heavy I would hurt Scott. Once, Scott couldn’t take it anymore and literally lost it on Igor. He started screaming things like “i’ve been holding her up her entire life, she’s as light as my left fucking leg Igor, leave her alone” or “i swear to god Igor you tell her ONE MORE TIME that she’s overweight and I might have to fucking strangle you” 

Igor never said a word about my weight ever again after that fateful day and I had never been so grateful for Scott in my entire life at that moment. 

When Igor would say those things it literally ate away at my soul. I would skip meals, claiming I woke up late or accidentally stayed too long at the gym or decided sleeping was more important than food. I also had different tactics, like instead of skipping anymore meals because I had already ‘missed’ 5 in the past 3 days I would just push and push and push my body at the gym. Once when I was 19, Scott and I were at the gym, running on the treadmill. Scott had finished at the time we were told to stop but I refused, I said I wasn’t tired which was clearly not the case. 

Scott said my face was as read as a tomato and there was sweat coming off of me in buckets. But, being stubborn and self conscious i ran an extra 20 minutes at a crazy fast speed. I felt light headed the entire time and and Scott spent probably 19 of the 20 minutes trying to convince me to stop (he would never admit it but I know it terrified him to see me push myself like that). The second I agreed to stop and step off the machine my legs gave way and I passed out. Luckily Scott was there to catch me (as usual). It was something we talked about in therapy a lot after, but never brought up outside the comfort of the office. 

So yeah, i’ve seen Scott at his best and definitely at his worst. But I have never seen him like this, ever. 

He is absolutely furious and I don’t have any logical reason as to why. I think maybe it’s because me being dropped or injured because of him has never been something we’ve ever had to worry about. I know and he knows he would never drop me and would/will always put himself in the line of fire before me. 

He just pacing around the bedroom at a speed much too fast, hands on his hips, running through his hair, jaw clenched, 100% in fight mode. He rants and raves and yells about how he’s never dropped me and never will, how Jeremy is completely incapable of being an ice dancer, how he doesn’t understand how Lauren is still alive because of how stupid Jeremy is, how if he was in the room right now he’d probably kill him or at least kick the living shit out of him. 

He does this for about 15 minutes and to say it’s frightening is an understatement. He needs to be calmed down but I have NO idea how to bring him back down from his state of fury. 

So I do my best at trying to talk him off this ledge. 

“scott, babe,” and as soon as I say his name it’s like he snaps out of a trance. I can tell he’s still angry but a lot of the tension in his body goes away. His jaw unclenches, his fists loosen, he stops pacing and lets out a deep breath. 

So I reach out both of my hands like a child and make a ‘please come here’ face and usher him to grab my hands. 

He does, then sits on the bed next to me and just stares at my hands. He’s still very not calm ( I can tell because his hands are shaking with how angry he is) but I hold tight to try and ground him, telling him i’m here and i’m ok. 

“scott, im ok.” His head snaps up and his eyes meet mine. “i’m here and i’m fine, see, all I have is a bandage and a almost broken butt.” I do not mention my splitting headache or throbbing of my lower back, for good reason. 

His eyes soften and he lets go of my hands and brings his to cup my face. “tess. I know you’re fine, I see that you’re ok and i see that you’re going to be unaffected by this and act like nothing ever happened tomorrow but I can’t.” 

I just nod and let him continue. 

“i can’t just unsee the love of my life being chucked across an ice rink because her temporary partner doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing. I cant unsee the blood start to mark the ice from your leg or the look of undeniable pain on your face when you finally realized what happened and that you were hurt. It’s not something I can just forget. And tess, it could’ve gone so much worse than it did. You could be sitting here with 10 stitches in your leg or an actual broken ass or with a concussion or in a coma in the hospital if you hit your head hard enough. The fear that shot though my entire body was nothing I had ever felt before. I don’t know if I would have ever forgiven myself if you got hurt worse than you already are because I let this whole situation happen. For a second, tess, just a second I thought I lost you. And the pain I felt in that one second was and is still enough to kill me. So yeah, I know you’re ok now. But on the ice today, because of that dumbass, I had no idea if you would be ok ever again.” 

I don’t say anything back, just nod into his hands and bring mine up to squeeze his. 

After a minute or two of silence I point towards the dresser and he knows what I want so he gets up, grabs one of his maple leafs t-shirts that I love to sleep in, throws it towards me and I get undressed and slide into it, carefully as literally everything hurts. 

He gets undressed, down to his boxers and walks over to his side of the bed. He gets in, tucks me under one of his arms so im nuzzled into his chest. He then flips on the tv onto Sportsnet so he can catch up on the highlights of the day.

I’m so utterly exhausted from the day I fall asleep almost instantly to the sound of the tv and Scotts breathing. 

—- —- —- 

I knew that Jeremy was quiet and reserved but man, I didn’t think he could ever be this quiet. He takes mute to a whole new level, especially after the accident a few days ago. 

And I thought I was quiet. 

During practice and warm up and breaks and after practice and at the gym and physio i’m pretty sure he says maybe 50 words in total. Sure he slides In a joke or two every once In awhile but that’s about all the personality I ever get out of him. 

I can see he still feels so guilty about what happened and I wish I could comfort him, but i’m still rockin’ a bandage the size of Australia on my leg and a bruised tailbone. 

I ask him about how quiet he is and he says “i just don’t have much to say I guess.” 

I was baffled when he said it. He really likes to focus on training which is nice, but i’m so used to having breaks to laugh and goof off with Scott, so the 24/7 seriousness is a little intimidating and I always feel the need to repress my smiles and giggles, even when he makes a joke. I feel bad because I know it’s partially my fault he’s so quiet nowadays, so afraid he’s going to hurt me or kill me for that matter. 

Also does not help one bit that Scott refuses to speak to him and has been giving him literal death glares since the day after I got hurt. 

The quiet is really weird but in turn we are super productive with our time and always finish ahead of Scott and Lauren. So that’s a plus, right? 

When we finish early, Jeremy always leaves to go get him and Lauren lunch from the salad bar down the street from Gadbois and I stay and watch. It’s amazing to see Scott skate without me 2 feet away from him, I get to see his edges more clearly, his facial expressions or the way he so beautifully glides across the ice. I am so in awe of him. 

This happens everyday, we finish early, I watch, Jeremy leaves. It’s a good rhythm. 

On the last day though, we all end at the same time. Lauren and Scott are definitely ready and Jeremy and I are solid with our programs. 

Lauren and Jeremy say goodbye to us and head to the salad bar while Scott and I decide to hang around the ice. 

I haven’t skated with Scott in almost two weeks and i’m ready for a little ice time with him. 

I’m basically healed from my injuries, my ass still hurts and my cut is now a scabby mess but other than than im basically 100%. 

“you wanna dance, love?” He asks 

“i thought you’d never ask.” I reply, smiling from ear to ear. 

He nods towards marie and patch and they press play on the music. 

Come what may from the movie Moulin Rouge comes on over the speaker. It fills the arena and I immediately feel a connection to the music. 

As Scott and I skate around, improvising, doing whatever feels natural, I know he’s feeling it the same way I am. 

His hand fits right back into mine, as if it never left and I don’t think either of us have been this happy since we’ve gotten back from worlds. 

Marie and patch watch from the boards, smiling gently. 

When the song ends and we are standing in the middle of the rink, he looks right at me and says “that’s it. Thats it tess, that’s the free dance.” 

I nod furiously. 

When we look over at marie and patch they nod and smile back. 

God, I cannot wait for this tour to be over. 

—- —- —- 

The drive to the airport is fine. We talk about anything but the impending doom that will be upon us in a matter of minutes, hold hands. Its fine and comfortable and heart wrenching at the same time. 

We park, pay an ungodly amount of money for an hour in the spot, grab my stuff out of the trunk and roll into the airport. 

I could honestly care less about the fact Scott and I are not technically together outside the comfort of our own/my/his home but i’m leaving and i’m sad and i’m going to hold my fiancés hand and arm like its a lifeline because I want to. 

He doesn’t say anything about it, just holds my hand tighter and pulls me closer as we walk towards the bag check. 

I check my suitcase, thank the lady at the checkout, and turn around and reach for Scotts hand, already open and waiting for mine. 

We walk towards security, where Scott has to leave and I can feel my heart getting more and more heavy as we walk. 

We turn a corner and then security is staring us straight in the face and I stop (so does my heart). Scott stops too. 

He turns to look at me, grabs both of my hands in his and gives them a reassuring squeeze. Why is he being the tough one right now, i’m the one leaving him. I need to be tough, it’s only two fucking months Tessa get a grip. 

So I give him a soft smile and choose to ignore the glassy look in his eyes because if I don’t there is no way i’m going to be able to get on that plane without him. 

“61 sleeps scotty. Then im all yours.” 

“61 sleeps” he repeats back quietly 

Our foreheads rest against each other for a moment or five and I take a sharp breath in and will myself to pull away. 

“i love you so, so much, Scott. Don’t ever forget that.” 

He nods 

“there is Skype and texting and facetime for a reason. Time is going to fly by. I’ll be back in your arms in no time.” 

He nods again 

“i need you to say something” I say starting to slightly panic at his first ever lack of words 

“ I just love you, tess. More than anything. I love you.” 

I smile and lean in, planting a soft kiss on his lips and I feel a single tear leave my eye, falling down my cheek. 

When we part, my hands rest on his chest and he moves them to his heart, I can feel his heartbeat, fast, irregular, he’s scared. 

“you and me, always” he says, then leans in, plants a shaky kiss on my forehead and drops my hands from his, turns, walks away, around the corner and he’s gone. 

I feel like someone has just ripped my heart out of my chest, threw it on the ground, stomped on it, then threw it in a garbage can and then lit the can on fire.

If this is what it feels like to be heartbroken I can’t imagine feeling anything worse than this, and we’re still together. He’s ok and i’m ok and neither of us are dead or sick or hurt but fuck, it feels as if someone just cut off my left leg. 

I probably look like some idiot who just got dumped at the airport, when im really just standing, staring at the corner where Scott turned, willing him to come around, say “fuck it all”, scoop me up and take me home. 

But he doesn’t because I have a plane to catch and routines to perform and learn and meet random skaters who have tried and failed to make it big but ended up being good enough for SOI. 

So I take a deep breath In, grab my carry on that has ended up sitting at my feet and march into security.

Ready to take Canada by storm. 

—- —- —- 

I fly through security and am only recognized by a few people, I give soft, trying smiles and wave hello but continue to my gate. 

I get a coffee and a sandwich from some random airport pop up restaurant that charges way too much for what I got, but I suck it up and pay the 14$ anyway and eventually make it to the gate with just enough time to eat and finish my coffee before boarding. 

Jeremy is nowhere to be seen and i’m starting to get a little worried. He needs to be here, I can’t get on the plane without a partner. 

I would be lying if I said I didn’t wince at the thought of calling him my “partner.” But this is my reality now, or at least for a little while. 

I better get used to it. 

Just as im thinking all of this, a tall, shy, brown haired boy (man) with ocean blue eyes comes into view.

I sigh In relief. At least one thing has gone well today, I dot have to get on the plane alone. 

“Hey! Jeremy” I say as he walks over to me, a timid, soft smile on his face. 

“Hi, Tessa.” He replies with a nod of the head. “You ready to go?” 

I nod and smile back, and we walk over to board. 

He puts his hand on my shoulder and stops me just before we walk up to the lady to hand our boarding passes too. 

“Tessa” he whispers “i really want to talk when we land ok, just us two.” 

“for sure, Jeremy. Whatever you need” I reply. I mean it too, whatever he needs to do to get passed all that’s happened over the past week and move forward with the tour, i’ll do it. I need him so much more than he thinks and having him present 100% of the time is going to be necessary. 

We board the plane in silence, find our seats and settle in. He gives me the window seat even though he was supposed to have it, but i’m not surprised. 

—- —- —- 

A few days earlier, Lauren and I had gone to the washroom on one of our joint breaks, leaving Scott and Jeremy on the ice. 

Lauren and I started making our way over to the washroom when I realized I forgot my water bottle and was planning on filling it back up, so I waved Lauren ahead and went back to get the bottle. 

Just as I was about to round the corner and head back to the boards I stopped. I heard Scott and Jeremy talking for the first time since the accident. 

“Jeremy” Scott said 

“yeah, man what’s up.” Jeremy replied, nervously. “ but before you say anything I just wanted to apologize. I know how much I fucked up a few days ago and I will never forgive myself. I know how much she means to you and how much you wanna kill me and you can, if you want. But on the tour, I want you to know, i’m going to protect her, i’m going to make sure she’s ok without you. I’m going to be by her side the whole time, Scott. I won’t let anything or anyone hurt her while you’re away.” 

They were quiet for a moment and without even seeing them I know Scott had just run his hands through his hair anxiously. 

There was another long pause before Scott said anything. 

“let me tell you some things ok. When she goes to book your plane tickets she will always put you at the window seat because she knows how much you like it. Give it to her. She loves looking out the window and it helps her nerves because she secretly hates flying. Make sure to give her some sort of sign that you’re there for her and nothing bad is going to happen, she knows this but will still let it get the better of her. If she starts pacing around the dressing room or rink at any time during the tour it means she’s stressed and something is causing her to get in her own head. Go up, grab her hand and be the grounding point for her. The little things are going to make all the difference. She’s going to need you, Jeremy.” 

“Okay. I got her, Scott. You have my word.” 

“Thank you.” 

—- —- —- 

The plane ride pretty painless. Jeremy makes small talk, I read, he sleeps. 

About an hour in I decided to check my emails, reply to sponsorship offers that I would love to say yes too but cant right now when I come across a joint email sent to Scott and I from Patch. 

Dear Tessa and Scott, 

Here is the cast for both of your tours. Thought you would appreciate this. 

Tessa’s tour:  
-Kaetlyn Osmond -Bryce Andrews  
-Kaitlyn Weaver -Melissa Kemp  
-Andrew Poje -Amelia Joseph  
-Javi Fernandez -Derek McKay  
-Gabby Daleman -Jeremy Bishop 

Scott’s Tour:  
-Patrick Chan -Rebecca Anderson  
-Meagan Duhamel -Marcus Young  
-Eric Radford -Jessica Williams  
-Elvis Stojko -Sophia Daniels  
-Jeffrey Buttle -Lauren Jacobs 

Much love and best of luck,  
Patch 

I think Scott will be pretty disappointed that Andrew and Kaitlyn got put on my tour but he has Chiddy, Elvis and Jeffery so he will be ok. 

I don’t know almost anyone on both the tours other than the Canadian olympians. I could care less about the people I don’t know on Scotts tour if i’m being honest but I’m sure i’ll eventually know their entire backstories eventually because of how chatty Scott is. 

The other four on my tour though, I have never heard of. I don’t mean to be rude but like, who are they? 

So I google all their names and find out enough information to get me through introductions. 

Bryce and Melissa are single skaters, and Derek and Amelia are a pairs couple. They’re not horrible, but haven’t won anything huge. 

Bryce came 9th at worlds last month in Helsinki which is the best out of the four. Melissa cracked top 20 and Derek and Amelia top 15. Not to bad but the tour is definitely a way to make some much needed cash (i would assume). 

By the time i’m done snooping, we are getting ready to land. I poke Jeremy awake and give him the run down of our fellow cast mates. 

Everything happens pretty quick after we land. 

We are whisked away to our shuttle, transported to the hotel, have less than 30 minutes to check in, change and be ready to head over to the rink for practice. 

We do, however get 5 minutes to ourselves while we wait for the bus to the rink.. I know Jeremy wanted to talk and it seems this will be the only free time so I start. 

“So, what did you wanna talk about earlier?” I ask 

“Oh that, right.” He replies as he rubs his neck nervously with one hand. “Well, uh, Tessa. I just wanted to apologize you know. For the lift thing, and everything else. I know I’m quiet and I’m going to try to open up to you I promise. I just can’t get the imagine of dropping you out of my head and I’m just so, so sorry.” 

“Jeremy, it’s okay. I know you didn’t do it on purpose and I would never hold that against you. I do hope you’ll open up to me though, we’re going to need each other these next two months.” 

“I know, I know we will. I plan on being there for you 100% Tessa, whatever you need, I’m here. Ive promised you and Scott and myself.” 

“I’m here for you too, you know. We’re a team, Jeremy.” And I squeeze his arm. 

He smiles and lets out a deep breath as we board the bus 

I really hope this is the start of something good. 

(It is) 

—- —- —- 

Jeremy and I are the last to arrive out of the cast so we have some time to make up if we wanna be sharp for the first show in two days. 

So after we check in, get ready and hop on the soi bus, we finally make it to the rink. 

We come in while Carlos is doing some last minute touches on what seems like one of Gabby’s solos. 

There is a crowd of other skaters talking in the corner, leaning against the boards, laughing. 

Jeremy and I lace up our skates and glide over to them. 

Everyone turns and Kaitlyn practically jumps me. 

“Tessa!!” She screams and engulfs me into one of her famous hugs. “everyone, this is WORLD CHAMPION ICE DANCER, Tessa Virtue.” 

“hi, everyone.” I say, all of the sudden shy “this is Jeremy. My temporary Scott.” 

He nods and says hello, everyone laughs. 

Oh good, i’ve broken the ice (pun very intended). 

Everyone else introduces themselves and they all seems super nice, it’s going to be a really fun tour I think. 

Only one person hasn’t introduced themselves though, Bryce. He’s leaning against the boards a few awkward feet away from everyone. 

So,being the curious human I am I remove myself from Derek and Amelia explaining how they feel they should’ve cracked top 10 at worlds this year to go and find out more about this Bryce character. 

“Bryce, is it?” I say, cautiously. 

“That’s right, miss Virtue.” He replies with a smirk. 

His voice is so familiar it takes be back a little and I slightly stumble as it catches me so off guard. 

He reaches out to steady me by grabbing one of my arms and an electric shock Is sent through my entire body. 

I pull away from him immediately, I know him I know I do, we have definitely met before, but when and where? I’m so dumbfounded that my brain can’t come up with the answers. 

“Careful there, miss world champion. Can’t have you getting hurt, we know Scotty wouldn’t like that.” 

I don’t say anything back, I just stand there until I feel a hand on my back.  
“You ok, tess?” 

its Jeremy, thank god. 

“yeah, yeah I’m good. Bryce, this is Jeremy.” I reach out for his arm to hide my shaking hands and in a lame attempt to ground myself. 

“Hey, nice to meet you.” Jeremy says with a more than confused look on his face. 

“You too man, im looking forward to sharing the ice with you guys. Should be fun.” Bryce says and skates away. 

Jeremy turns to me as soon as Bryce is out of earshot. 

“Who is that?” 

“i have no idea Jeremy but i’ve met him before I know it. Something happened when he grabbed my arm and im still trying to figure it out myself. Just, don’t leave me alone with him okay?” 

“Of course, tess. He’s a creep, I can already tell.” 

“yeah” I scoff. “well, we better get to work eh?” 

He nods, grabs my hand and we skate back to the majority of the group. 

After hours of practice and run throughs of the routines, group and individual, Jeremy and I can finally go back to the hotel and sleep. It’s been an emotionally and physically exhausting last 24 hours and im ready for bed. 

I’m about to hit the pillow and sleep forever when my phone buzzes. 

Scott. 

I don’t even look at the text, I just press call. 

He picks up on the first ring. 

“Tess, babe. How’s it going? How was day one?” 

“hey, Scott. Im good, exhausted, but good. Day one was fine, Jeremy have everything down for the show in two days. Im feeling ready.”

“thats awesome, tess. Whats up then, everything ok?” 

“Well for one I just miss your voice. But yeah everything fine. I do have a question though, have we ever met a Bryce Andrews?” 

“um, I don’t think so, why?” 

“well he’s on my tour, I met him today and something just seems off about him, I feel like i’ve met him before, if that makes sense. Like I slipped a little while talking to him, he reached out and grabbed my arm and it just felt so weird and familiar even though the only person who’s really ever touched me is you. I know that’s confusing but like, I just can’t put my finger on who he is, Scott.” 

“oh, uh, ok. Well tess i know for a fact we have never met a Bryce Andrews, I would remember a god awful name like Bryce. Im sure its nothing though tess, he was just trying to rile you up. It’s probably your nerves for the show. Its ok to be nervous. Just try and relax babe. Im sure its nothing.” 

That was not the response I was looking for. 

“yeah, yeah, you’re probably right. I’m already in my head and it’s day one.” I awkwardly laugh through the phone 

“everything’s going to be ok, tess. Try to have some fun ok, for me.” 

“okay, I will. I promise. I love you so much.. I better get to bed though, got an early day tomorrow.” 

“Okay, baby. Sweet dreams. I Love you.” 

“Bye” 

Looks like he isn’t going to be very useful. 

—- —- —- 

The next day absolutely flies by. Jeremy and I picked up all the group routines easily and felt show ready after day one, so we are feeling even better today, which is always comforting. 

I still haven’t quite figured out who Bryce is yet, Jeremy and I both have tired to wrack our brains as to who he could be as it seems Scott is not going to be any help. 

We’ve done so much digging on this guy I feel like I should be in the FBI instead of a professional ice dancer. 

But, we always come up empty. I’ve even asked around the rink and the other single skaters don’t have much to say about him. Mostly that he’s a little (a lot) cocky, freaks out when he skates a bad program but overall is a pretty nice guy and that they’ve never had a problem with him. 

When Jeremy and I are eating lunch I decide to end the head hunt, or at least attempt to. 

“i think we need to give it up, Jeremy.” 

He looks surprised and confused, but proceeds with caution.

“Give what up, Tess?” 

“Bryce. He seems like an ok guy and maybe it was just the hours of flying and lack of sleep that made me jump to all these conclusions.” 

“maybe, but I still wanna figure out who he is to you. Almost always your gut instinct is right, tess. He obviously has been in your life at one time or another and I wanna figure it out. We don’t have to keep it up with the FBI investigation but I truly want to know.” 

That’s all bullshit. The only reason he just said any of that is because he knows if Bryce is some creeper and has been in my life before and ends up hurting me, Scott will have a psychotic break and kill them both. 

So I just nod and smile back at him and go back to my salad. If I learnt anything from accidentally overhearing Scott and Jeremy’s conversation at the rink in Montreal it’s that Jeremy genuinely wants to make sure we ( I ) make it through this tour unscathed, and it really does mean a lot. 

After lunch is costume fittings. 

It goes smoothly, everything fits well and feels nice and easy to skate in. 

Jeremy looks great in everything he puts on, we are going to look stunning out on the ice and I can’t help but feel a little bit giddy for the first show tomorrow. 

Jeremy and I spend the rest of the day walking around Hamilton, we go into a few little shops, chat about everything and just enjoy some bonding time. 

Since we are all we’ve got during the tour, he’s realize he can’t be mute. Especially if he’s going to protect me from anything and everything while Scotts away. 

He is a really great guy and I can see why Lauren likes him so much. We are definitely getting closer each day and its so comforting, to know I have someone in my corner 100% while we’re on tour and I can already tell we are going to have a lot of fun. 

It’s an interesting dynamic. Our connection isn’t even close to Scott and i’s but it’s still good and comfortable and 100% platonic. I guess this is what platonic skating partners are supposed to look like. 

I laugh at the thought. Scott and I have always found it so funny how many different ways the twitterverse has tried to prove the fact we are nowhere near platonic, but in good fun and to keep the press off our asses and keep the focus onto our skating, we are platonic as ever. 

If only the world knew how big of a lie it really is. 

I can see Jeremy and i’s friendship lasting a long time out of tour. Him and Lauren coming over for dinner and drinks once Scott and I buy a house after the olympics, him being the godfather to our first kid. You know, the nice, normal kind of friendship stuff. 

It makes me smile. 

He notices. 

“what’s with the smile tess?” He chuckles 

“oh you know, just thinking about how glad I am to have you on the tour with me. I couldn’t imagine being completely by myself.” 

“well i’ll take that as a compliment. I’m glad I could be here with you to. Even if I am just a temporary replacement.” 

We both laugh as we turn to walk down another random street. 

“Coffee?” I suggest, then nod towards a cafe to our left. 

“Obviously” he replies 

— —- — 

SHOW DAY #1 

I’m so excited, its the first show of the tour and I am so ready. 

The group numbers are so much fun, Jeremy and I hands down have the best single programs out of everyone and everyone is meshing really well. 

We spend the morning going through a dress rehearsal and testing out the lights and the music and the timing in the transitions from skater to skater. 

5pm comes quick. 

Everyone is in the change rooms, getting dressed for the opening number, curling irons and straighteners and makeup and skates everywhere. 

It doesn’t take me too long to get ready so I don’t start to put my makeup on until about 5:30. 

While I put on my makeup, Jeremy and I chat about what we need to see in each of the cities because we have at least 5 days in every city. 

I’m just about done when Jeremy says he’s going to run to the washroom and he’ll be back in 5. 

So i’m left alone in the room and just like good timing would have it, as soon as Jeremys out of the room, Bryce walks in. 

I’ve been avoiding him with the help of my human shield (jeremy) and all seems to be going well as he hasn’t tried to make conversation or converse in any other way. 

It seems my luck of avoiding him is up. 

I just keep face forward to my little baby mirror, making small touch-ups to my foundation, adding another coat of mascara

Until I feel two hands resting on my shoulders. I didn’t even hear him sneak up behind me but god I wish I did. 

I freeze, unable to move or say anything as he slowly runs his hands down my arms. 

Then as if all at once, it clicks and I know exactly who he is. Before he even says anything. 

I need Jeremy to walk into the room right now before I actually have a heart attack and collapse right on the spot. 

But again, my luck has most definitely run out. 

So, as if to add fuel to the fire Bryce says as he continues to feel me up,

“Hey soulmate.” 

His eyes meet mine in the compact mirror i’m holding. 

He winks, then speaks again, “miss me?” 

I inhale sharply and my heartbeat increases to about one thousand beats per minute.

The bar, Helsinki, the fucking creep who felt me up when I was at my lowest, most vulnerable state. 

It was him. 

It was fucking Bryce. 

He runs his hands up my arms again and rests them on my shoulders. His rough, big hands scarring my skin all over again. 

I shudder at his touch and he lets go, turns around and walks out of the room. 

As if nothing fucking happened. 

I hear the door shut and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding in, I feel light headed, off balance, the world is spinning and this can’t be happening, this cannot be fucking happening. 

I have to skate in just over an hour and the man who would’ve fucking raped me if I hadn’t left the bar when I did is on the same fucking tour as I am. 

I let out a sob/scream type thing and reach for my phone. 

I have to call Scott, I don’t know what else to do. 

He picks up on the third ring and he’s in way too good of a mood 

“Hey baby! Getting ready for the show! I can’t wait to hear all about it! I’m sure you look beautiful” 

Silent tears runs down my face as he talks. 

I don’t say anything because I don’t know how to produce the words. 

“Tess? You there?” 

I let out a sob and I can feel him tense on the other side of the phone.

“Tessa. What’s wrong, what is it. Say something.”

“Scott” i choke out 

“Baby” he says nervously “Whats going on.”

“He’s here.” 

“Whos here?” He asks, obviously confused.

“The guy, from the bar, the one who you know—” I can’t even finish the sentence because im full on bawling. 

“Who is it” he says, quietly, but sharp “Who Is it Tess.” 

Im shaking and I need someone to hold me and Jeremy how long does it take to fucking pee. 

“Bryce” I say and as soon as his name is out of my mouth I have to bring my hands up to cover mine, trying to muffle the sounds of my petrified sobs. 

“no, no, no. I’m going to kill him.” 

“i don’t know what to do scott” 

“i know what i’m going to do, im going to hop on a plane and fucking kill him.” 

Then, as if the gods have answered, Jeremy finally comes back into the room to find me bawling, on the floor, phone clutched to my ear. 

“tessa?” Jeremy questions, looking around, trying to put the pieces together “tessa, what’s wrong?” He asks and runs over to me. 

I just hand him the phone and continue to cry as Jeremy bings me into his chest. 

“hello?” Jeremy questions 

After that I can only catch a couple of sentences, too focused on trying to breathe and not pass out and die right here on the floor. 

What I get out of Scott and Jeremy’s convo is:  
“no Scott, you can’t get on a plane and kill him” 

“i’ll protect her, she’s not going to leave my side when he’s around” 

“yes I know she needs you but you have a job and i’m here” 

“she’s going to be ok” 

“if he even so much as looks in her direction i’ll punch him.” 

“i’ll keep you updated.” 

While still holding me, Jeremy hands me back the phone. 

“tess” scott says, softly “it’s going to be ok. Jeremy isn’t going to let him near you ok. You’re going to be safe and he won’t be able to hurt you anymore.”

“im so scared Scott” 

“i know, I know. You’ve gotta be strong my love, don’t let him win. You’re Tessa fucking Virtue almost Moir for god’s sake, don’t let him take anything from you.”

“I wont” I say, trying to regain my composure while trying to sound somewhat convincing. “i won’t let him” 

“That’s my girl. I love you so much. He’s not going to get away with this, Jeremy and I will make damn sure he doesn’t.” 

“I love you too, so, so much.” 

“Call me after the show ok, you’re unstoppable.” 

I nod, even though he can’t see it and hand the phone off to Jeremy. 

“i’ve got it from here, Scott. Don’t worry. I’ll call you later and remember, no hopping on a plane.” 

He hangs up the phone and pulls me out of his grasp so I face him. 

“Tessa, what happened in Helsinki.” 

We’ve got about 30 minutes before people start coming back into the change room to do touch-ups and get water and such so I gotta talk fast. 

I explain everything. From the second Marie-France and Patch told us we were getting new partners for the tour to the moment I fell asleep in the hotel bed after puking my literal guts out. 

He doesn’t judge me, only questions when necessary, and just listens. He takes in everything im saying and really soaking it all in. 

This is information I would have never thought I would be sharing with anyone else other than Scott, especially Jeremy. 

After I’m done, he pauses for a minute, trying to figure out what To say next. 

“Ok” is what he starts with “he is never going to lay another hand on you ever again and if he decides too, it’ll be the last thing he ever does.” 

I pull him into a hug and mutter a “thank you” into his shirt. 

Stands up, pulling me with him. Then puts his hands on my shoulders, “now go get fixed up, you’ve got a show to kill.” He says with determination behind his eyes. 

He is definitely not concerned about killing the show let me tell you right now. 

“you’re right. Let’s do it.” 

So I pull myself together, fix my makeup and hair, plaster on a confident, press conference smile, grab Jeremys hand and walk out the doors towards the rink. 

— —- —- 

How the show goes? I have no idea. 

I go through the show and I feel nothing, my smile is fake, my movements are forced and I hope to god I didn’t skate as bad as I felt because I was just not all there. 

Jeremy was my rock tonight, seriously. 

During and After every number, he was right by my side. He was whispering encouraging things while we were on the ice, cracking jokes, doing as much as he could to keep me from falling apart in front of god knows how many people and their cameras. When we were off the ice he was always making sure I was drinking water, taking the lead in our conversations with other skaters and I didnt even see Bryce, not once the rest of night and that’s all because of him. 

I’m going to have to send him a huge fruit basket when tour is over. 

The meet and greet goes fine, only about 40 people ask me where Scott is and I just say that “he’s got other commitments going on right now” because that’s all I can muster up the strength to say. 

Turns out Jeremy is as great with people as Scott is. He’s so warm and welcoming and really knows how to make the fans feel special, even if its only for a moment or two. 

Jeremy catches Bryce looking over at us during the m&g and he immediately stands up and walks over to him. 

What he says i’ll never know, but the smirk on Jeremys face as he walks over to me displays that whatever he said, it was effective and we shouldn’t have any more issues the rest of the night. 

And we don’t. 

When we get back to the hotel and im finally left alone, I call Scott. 

I swear doesn’t even ring once and he’s already picked it up. 

He’s probably been staring at the phone for the last two hours, willing it to ring. 

“tess” he sighs in relief 

“Scotty” I say back 

“Are you ok? How was the show? Wheres Bryce? Where’s Jeremy?” 

I let out a laugh, knowing it’ll relax him a little. 

“Im okay, im not good, i’m not great but i’m fine. The show, I have no idea. Go check twitter. I was just trying to keep from crying in the middle of any of the numbers. I have no idea where Bryce is and Jeremy is next door. Im contemplating asking him to sleep in the other bed in my room because im literally terrified Bryce is going to try and break into my room while im asleep. How are you?” 

“ok, im glad your okay. I will check twitter. I’m so sorry you had a rough show babe, i’m sure you were stunning, as usual. Go get Jeremy. Im telling you right now Tessa I don’t care where I am if he even looks at you sideways I will fly out to you and beat him to a pulp.” 

“i know, scott. Thank you. I think im good though, Jeremy has been amazing. The best human shield I could’ve asked for. After i’m off the phone i’ll go and force him into sharing the room with me.” 

“Good. Make sure to call me tomorrow. Lauren and I are wrapping up the last day of rehearsal so I should be home around dinner. I love you, tess” 

“i love you too, goodnight” 

As soon as I hear the line go dead, im up and out of my bed and walking across the hall to Jeremy’s room. 

I knock on the door a couple of times and Jeremy swings the door open. 

“tess what’s wrong, is he here? Where?” 

I just laugh. 

“im fine, jer, really. But I do have a proposition for you.”

“uh, ok” 

“i need you to sleep with me.” 

As soon as I say it I know its come out wrong. 

His eyes almost bug out of his head and he just about falls over 

“no, no, no that’s not what I meant. I mean, i’m terrified. What if Bryce pulls some crazy shit and gets a keycard to my room and tries to kill me in my sleep? I need you to sleep in the other bed in my room. I know its a lot and if u don’t want to do it thats fine but I couldn’t not ask” 

He doesn’t say anything, just turns around, grabs his phone and keycard to his room, walks across the hall, through my open door and into the untouched bed. 

I’m a little stunned to be honest but I shrug and follow after him, then flop into my bed. 

We both fall asleep within minutes of his move and even though Scotts not here, I feel as safe as ever. 

—- —- —- 

THREE WEEKS LATER 

The days have been mushing together. All I know is that today I get to go home. For an entire 7 days. 

I don’t even know what day it is, how many shows have we done? Maybe like 10-15? I seriously haven’t got a clue. They’ve all been fun though, im having a blast and I forgot just how much I love tour season. The meet and greets are amazing, i love to see the signs and thoughtful gifts and videos the fans have put together. Almost everyone will ask about Scott and it doesn’t hurt as much now as it did in the beginning, even though my heart is still a little bit broken at the fact he’s not here next to me. 

Everyone is so nice and i’ve gotten to know them pretty well and it’s been even better to have gotten to spend more time with Kaetlyn and Kaitlyn and Andrew and Gabby and Javi. 

Especially Jeremy. 

Jeremy and I spend every living moment together. We eat all three meals together, skate together, sleep (ish) together and are having a blast doing it. He’s become an intricate part of my life right now and if I can’t have Scott with me, Jeremy isn’t a bad (temporary) replacement. 

Him sleeping in my hotel room has become a permanent thing and it’s really comforting. I know i’m safe from he who shall not be named and he can sleep at night knowing Scott won’t be coming at him with a hammer at the end of tour. 

Things with Scott are great too. Even though I miss him like crazy and have only cried like four times because of it. So we Skype, text or call every day, most of the Skype calls include Jeremy and Lauren but I don’t mind, the four of us have become a tight knit group. 

Scott confesses (to me, not Jeremy) though that Lauren still drives him absolutely crazy. 

I’ve also been able to enjoy the tour so much more now that things with Bryce have calmed down considerably. 

Again, I have no clue what Jeremy said to him the night of the first m&g but it was obviously life threatening enough to keep him far, far away from me.

—- —- —- 

 

The first half of tour is over, which means its my 7 day break. 

It’s not just my break though, I could potentially get to see Scott. Timing didn’t work out great, as his break ends today and mine starts. There is a plus though, both of us should be in the Montreal airport at the same time, even though i’m going to London for the break.

This means that basically as soon as im off the plane I have to run to Scotts gate in an attempt to get in a hug and a kiss and get to see his smile, oh that smile. 

I’ll do it though, because I need to touch him, need his security and to hear his voice and not just from over Skype because it’s not realistic at all, venue if only for 20 minutes or so. 

So when he tells me that his flight has gotten delayed, I am only a lot overjoyed. I’ll get to hug him and kiss him and be in his arms for just a little while. it’ll be a nice reminder of all that i’ll be coming home too after the tour is over-him. 

And if that isn’t enough encouragement enough to push hard and perform with everything i’ve got and get this tour over with then I don’t know what is.

If something goes wrong and I don’t get to see him today, which I think might crush me more than him initially leaving me at the airport just over three weeks ago, the next chance i’ll have to see him is after the Vancouver show and that is way too far away. 

Im chilling at my gate, waiting to board and i’m so jumpy, I still have an entire plane ride ahead of me before I get to see him but I can’t help it, im just so excited. 

I’m flying to London but have two layovers and one of them is in Montreal the second in Toronto. I have about 45 minutes to see Scott after I land and he’s got about 30 minutes before he needs to board. 

I’m glad I don’t have to worry about my luggage as its a layover so it just gets transferred to my next plane and that would’ve substantially cut down on my time with him if I had to get my stuff first. 

—- —- —- 

The plane ride to Montreal is fine, not too bad. It feels weird to be flying by myself. Im so used to having Scott or Jeremy or someone else to sit next too and talk with. 

So i’m a little out of my element and buzzing with energy.

I can’t focus on my book, I just keep staring at my fricken phone. I bought the wifi for 10$ and have been waiting for Scott to text me ALL DAY but he’s been quiet.

The time seems to move like molasses, one minute its 10:35am and after what feels like a year its only 10:42am. 

I finally focus in on my book and have read a fair amount when my phone goes off with a quiet little ‘ding’ and my heart jumps.

Its Scott

I can’t wipe the smile off my face as I read his text.

‘hey beautiful, hope the plane isn’t too lonely without me. I’m so excited to see you. Text me when u land, see you soon baby.’ 

I reply immediately. 

‘see you soon, scotty. I love you. Btw, the plane is VERY lonely’

Somehow I make It through the rest of the flight without exploding and it probably has something to do with Scotts text but still, I survive nonetheless 

As soon as I touchdown the clock starts. 

I’ve got 47 minutes to get to Scott before he boards. 

As soon as he’s given his boarding pass and starts down the hallway he’s not allowed to turn around and come back out. It’s a rule that has been in place for as long as we’ve been flying for skating so it’s imperative I make it before then because rules are rules. 

35 minutes 

We are still sitting on the runway and to say im anxious is an understatement. The people around me most definitely think i’m high on something by how jumpy and irritable I am.

32 minutes 

Still nothing, we’re still sitting, stranded on the fucking runway for god knows what reason. I mean I know im kinda in a time crunch here but I don’t think its ever taken this long to get off (it most definitely has). I know im making a big deal about this but I haven’t seen Scott in 28 days and I am going a little insane. 

28 minutes 

They are finally bringing the walkway over to the plane that connects us to the airport and is the tunnel to freedom, the tunnel to Scott. 

22 minutes 

Of course the one plane ride I should’ve paid the extra 100$ for a seat closer to the front I don’t. I swear every person on this plane is purposely walking slower than a snail so I don’t make it too Scott and thats just rude if you ask me.

19 minutes 

Im finally in the tunnel and am low key sprinting/speed walking through it, dodging old people and babies and arguing, irritable parents. Usually i would be patient and kind and give reassuring smiles to the parents and help the seniors up the tunnel but today I am a woman on a mission. 

14 minutes 

I’m out of the tunnel and all of the sudden i’ve realized I have NO IDEA where gate G12 is and time is running the fuck out. 

11 minutes 

I don’t think this fucking airport could be more packed. There are people literally everywhere. It also doesn’t help that about 6 people in the span of 30 seconds of me getting off the plane have figured out who i am. I try not to be rude and give them a wave but I just really don’t have time for fans right now. 

8 minutes 

After wandering around, frantically trying to find a map of where the gates are for way too long I finally figure out where Scotts gate is and its not close, not close at all. 

4 minutes 

I’m running, literally running through the airport and im almost there, i’m so close. So close to him. 

3 minutes 

I know time is almost up and i’ll get in one hug, kiss and hello in before he’s gone at best but its enough, it’ll be enough, it has to be. 

2 minutes 

I round a corner and see the gate, all the way at the fucking end of the hallway, lane, corridor whatever the fuck they call it. Ive got two minutes and I don’t know if i’m going to make it but I have to fucking try, I have to try. 

1 minute 

I’m so close and I can see the people lined up, handing their tickets to the flight attendant lady. 

Then I see him, I see his Canada backpack and it takes everything in me to keep running, towards him. Im exhausted. With all the shows, the endless plane rides, sprinting throughout an airport. Its a lot. 

Im less than 50 metres away from him when I see him hand his boarding pass to the lady, head hung low, his disappointment so evident. 

I didn't make it 

I missed him 

By 1 fucking minute 

0 minutes

times up 

I stand there, at the gate, watching him walk down the tunnel, away from me, for another 32 days. 

I can’t even think, I cant move, but i’m as close to the tunnel as permitted for non passengers and just seeing him in the flesh, knowing he’s still standing and is ok, puts me at ease, nt much but a little.  
Then all of the sudden without even realizing it I yell out 

“scott!!” 

I don’t know if it’s loud enough or if it even actually came out of my mouth and ive just completely lost it

But then he pauses.

Then he turns around, slowly, scanning behind him and I catch the exact moment on his face when he sees me. 

He starts to walk back to the exit out of the tunnel but the security guard is already on him. 

He says something to him, looks as if he’s pleading with him but there are still people filing into the tunnel and we both know he’s not getting out of the tunnel to see me. 

So when he gets as far as the guard will let him, he smiles, its filled with relief and sadness and love all in one. 

I mouth “i love you” at him. 

He mouths back “i love you too” 

And it’s like simultaneously both of us really come to the realization we won’t get to touch or see each other for another 32 fucking days, both of us letting slow, silent, loving and longing tears fall. 

I put on the best smile I can muster through my tears and nod slightly, letting him know its ok to go and that i’ll see him so, so soon. 

But 32 days isn’t soon and we both know that. 

He nods back at me and places both of his hands over his heart.

I do the same. 

He takes a deep breath then painfully pulls his gaze from mine and turns around.

He walks down the tunnel, head once again hung low

And then he’s gone.

I thought him leaving me at the airport at the start of tour was hard to take. 

This, however, was much, much worse, and for the second time in 3 weeks, my heart has yet again, been shattered. 

—- —- —- 

I don’t know how long I stand there after he’s gone but i’m pretty sure it was an abnormally long time. 

I’m just staring at the tunnel, my hands still clasped over my heart and my tears still falling, slowly and silently, but still falling. 

Im brought back to reality when my phone buzzes from inside my Adidas sweater. 

And of course, it’s him. A small smile spreads across my face just by seeing his name. 

When I open it, my heart swells. 

‘i love you so much, tess. If I have to wait 32 more days to say it to your beautiful face in person then so be it. No matter where we are, you’re always with me, baby. Have a safe flight home and call me tonight. Give Kate a hug for me.’ 

‘you’re too good for me Scott Moir. I’ll call you tonight and will most definitely give Kate a hug for you, fly safe, I love you.’ 

I shove my phone back into my pocket, twist on my heels and walk towards my gate, i’ve still got a plane to catch. 

I get to go home, finally. 

Well, home to an extent. Where i’m going, is my home. My literal Home is a house. It’s got some walls, a ceiling, a couch or two and a bed along with a kitchen and a few bathrooms.

But home, home really, is Scott. Always has and always will be. 

— —- —- 

When I land it’s bittersweet. The last time I was in London was before Scott and I got our shit together and finally realized our feelings. 

I feel like he should be here, so we could go and tell our families, our friends that we’ve finally found each other after all these years. 

But that’s going to have to wait. Right now I just need to try and forget about Scott and just focus on relaxing and getting ready for the last half of four. 

So when I grab my luggage and see my mom waiting for me, all the sadness and regret of not being here with Scott or missing him at the airport all vanishes. 

I’ve missed her so, so much. 

“Tessa! Baby” she says as I walk into her arms “I’m so glad you’re home” and I can feel the smile on her face. 

“I’ve missed you, mom.” I reply with a smile just as big as hers. 

We decide to go out to lunch before taking me back to my house for some much needed rest. 

We go to one of our favorite cafes and I order my usual, the California chicken salad with a hot chocolate. It’s a little bit of an odd combo but I love it anyway. 

We chat about the usual things. How’s Scott doing, do I miss him (yes), hows Jeremy, the London/ilderton gossip, the moir clan, Jordan and her newest boyfriend who she really thinks is the one, I think his name is mike? 

I appreciate how we avoid the topic of actual skating. She knows it’s been tough for both Scott and I to be apart this long as platonic friends, but she has no idea how much it’s actually killing us. So when she asks how him and I are doing, I’m a little thrown off because Scott and I never really talked about what we would say to our parents. 

So without thinking I just go with my gut 

“We’re good. Really good actually. We’ve been spending a lot of time texting, Skyping, FaceTiming. It feels like he is almost with me in person sometimes. I really just wish I could give him a hug though.” 

“Oh sweetheart, I can imagine. You spend so much time together this must be a lot for you both.” 

“It is, but we’re making it work.” I reply with a small smile and I’m hoping to god she drops the topic of Scott because I don’t know how long I’ll be able to avoid letting her know I’m basically engaged to him. 

She does, thank god. 

We get into the topics of fashion and the newest trends and how my brothers are doing and how her and almas weekly coffee dates have now turned into 3-4 times a week. 

It’s great to see her so happy and I absolutely love being around her, especially since I haven’t seen her in months. 

But when she drops me off at home, so I can spend the rest of the day by myself. I’ve never been so thankful. 

I let out a giant breath once I’m inside. I drop my bags on the ground and just walk around a bit. 

Nothings been moved, everything is as it should be, it’s so quiet and calm and something I definitely need right now. 

I walk into my office/library type room and just gaze at my book wall. I can’t wait to grab one of my new books, curl up on the couch with some tea and just enjoy the quiet time I have. 

—- —- —- 

After I’ve gotten reacquainted with my house, unpacked my bags, showered, picked out a book and put some tea on, I decide to call Scott. 

It rings 

And rings 

And rings. 

He doesn’t answer. 

I don’t think much of it, he’s probably busy. He is on tour and I can’t expect him to be waiting for my call every second of the day. 

So I go back to drinking my tea and reading my book. 

I expect him to call me back, or text me, but he doesn’t. 

I go to bed that night wondering. 

I also wake up wondering, especially because I have no texts, no missed calls, no voicemail, nothing, zip, zilch, nada. 

I know scott isn’t the greatest with technology or replying to texts but he knows how to answer a phone and text me if he’s busy and just give me a heads up as to where he is. 

But he hasn’t, so, I’m worried. 

I don’t want to bother him because he’s likely sleeping or on the ice but I can’t help the places my mind goes. 

He’s cheating  
He’s dead  
He’s out getting wasted  
Or he just doesn’t miss me as much as I miss him, and even just the thought of that being a possibility hurts more than anything else. 

So I wait, and I wait and I wait. 

I spend my entire fucking day just sitting around waiting for him to give me some sort of sign that he’s alive. 

I text Jeremy and chiddy and Danny and of course I get nothing back. 

Jeremy and Danny haven’t heard from him today and chiddy doesn’t even reply and that’s just rude. 

So when I’m sitting at my dining room table eating eggs and toast for dinner with suits on in the background and my phone rings, I literally jump out of my seat and run to my charger. 

It’s him 

Thank fuck. 

“Scott” I say 

“Tess, hey” he replies with a sigh. 

“You wanna tell me where you’ve been the last 36 hours? I’ve been so fucking worried.” 

It’s silent on his end and I can feel him trying to figure out what to say next. 

“Did you do something? Did something happen?” I can feel the lump start to form in the back of my throat and my stomach turn inside out “Whatever it is we can work it out and it’ll be ok, okay.” I say as I attempt (and fail) to hold back the scared, sad tone of my voice. 

“Oh tess, no, no” he said back, obviously on edge “I would never do anything that could hurt us or you.” 

I let out a big sigh and feel the tension somewhat leave my body. 

“Okay.”

“Tess, babe, I promise. Nothing bad happened. I’m good, you’re good, we’re all good. I’m sorry I didn’t call, something I had to do came up and I didn’t have my phone on and as soon as I got back to the hotel last night I crashed.” 

I nod into the phone, then realize how dumb that is because he can’t see me 

“Okay, I believe you. I was just so worried Scott. I don’t know what I would do if something did actually happen to you.” 

“I know, and I’m sorry. It won’t happen again okay?” 

“Okay. Now I know you have a show tomorrow so you better go get some rest. I love you” 

“I love you too, tess” 

—- —- —- 

The next few days are really amazing. 

They fly by but I enjoy every second of it. 

I go shopping with my mom and to the spa with Jordan and spend some much needed time with my friends who I haven’t seen in literal ages. 

I play three rounds of golf with my dad and my brothers. 

Tonight, though is going to be a little bit different. 

I’m taking a trip to the Moir house, without Scott Moir. 

I’ve had a permanent place at the moir family dinner table since I was 7, I’ve shown up to what seems like hundreds of family dinners unannounced and they have never taken a second look or asked why I’ve decided to join them. They’re my family, through and through. 

I could’ve showed up After a bad day at the rink, fights with Jordan or the rest of my family, when school and skating just became too much and I just needed a laugh or simply because I missed them all terribly. 

This will be the first time that I’ve attended a dinner without Scott though. 

I talked to Alma earlier in the week about stopping by for dinner a day or two before I head back to tour and she couldn’t have been more excited. I’ve missed her and the rest of the family so, so much. 

So when I’m pulling into the driveway, a bottle of wine on the passenger seat and a smile slapped across my face, I realize I forgot to tell scott I would be seeing his family. 

So I shoot him a quick text 

“Hey babe, going for dinner at your house tonight. So excited to see the family I almost forgot to tell you!! I’ll call you later, have a good show, love you.” 

He replies in record time. Especially for him. 

“T, you don’t think I already know? My mom hasn’t been able to stop talking about her precious Tessa coming for dinner since you called her. Have a good time, give everyone a hug for me. Love you too” 

And with that, my phone is away and I’m walking towards the door with a spring in my step.

When Alma opens the door it’s like a ray of sunshine. She brings me into one of her famous hugs and I couldn’t feel more at home. 

Alma has been another mother to me since I started skating, even before Scott. Her and aunt carol would help me through my singles skating and were always so supportive of me. 

When Scott and I got put together it was just the icing on the cake.

Alma has always been a constant in my life. Even when Scott and I were going through our rough patch after Sochi, she always called at least once a week. 

She is such a beautiful person inside and out, there have been so many conversations that I’ve had with Alma instead of my own mother. She is someone that no matter what happens with Scott, will always be in my life.

I love her with my whole heart and couldn’t be happier to be spending some time with her and the family.

“Alma, hi” 

“Oh Tessa! It has been too long since you’ve been around. I’m so glad you could come.” 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” 

Then, as if on cue I hear two little voices yell out “auntie Tess!!!!” And then the little pitter patter of footsteps and all of the sudden I’m being attacked by Danny’s kids 

“Hello, little ones! How are we?” I say as I come down to their level and embrace them 

“We’re good “ Charlotte replies with a toothless smile. She’s got both Scott and I wrapped around her little finger. 

I nod back with a smile. They let go and run back to their toys. 

“There she is!! The little sister I always wanted!” 

“Danny!” I say as he pulls me into a hug “I’m so glad I caught you while you’re in town!” 

“I could say the same, Tess. We are all so glad you could stop by.” 

I smile and head to the kitchen. 

My heart is so full. 

Dinner goes amazing, I catch up with Danny and his Tessa, Charlie and his wife, of course Alma and joe. I make sure to spend some time with the kids, making sure to take notes of their current favorite tv shows and movies, colors, toys, the works. 

I’m on my third glass of wine and am feeling decently buzzed and warm inside when Scott calls. 

“I’ll be right back! Gotta take this call from Scotty!” And I walk out of the room and onto the patio 

“Scott!! Babe!!” I yell into the phone 

“Hi baby, how’s dinner?” He laughs 

“SO good, I missed everyone so so much!! I missed them ALMOST as much as I currently miss you. And that’s a lot” 

He laughs a big belly laugh into the phone and it’s music to my drunk ears and I hum in response.

“I’m so glad you’re having a good time, but how much have you had to drink?” 

“How many glasses of wine I’ve had tonight is none of your business.” 

I pause and he laughs again 

“I love your laugh you know, Scotty. It might be my most favourite sound ever. If I could hear you laugh everyday for the rest of my life I’m sure everything would be ok” 

“Oh tess. I love you so much.” 

I smile and let out a giggle, then take another sip of my wine. 

“Soooooo Scotty, how was the show?” 

“It was great actually, Halifax has a hell of a crowd.” 

“That’s amazing, you deserve all the applause my love” 

Even though I’m a little impaired and can’t see him I can feel his smile and It warms my heart. 

“Oh shit, Tess, gotta go, meet and greet is starting. Say hi to family for me. I love you so much.” 

“Knock em dead moir, I love you” 

After we hang up, I just sit. I look out onto Scott’s backyard, and really take in the beauty of it all. It’s so big and is full of life, With trees and a pond and flowers it’s all just breathtaking. Since I was 7 I’ve never gotten enough of this view.

I’m brought out of my thoughts when I feel someone sit down beside me. 

Alma. 

She doesn’t say anything at first, just grabs my free hand and squeezes. 

We sit for a minute in comfortable silence when she eventually breaks it. 

“so, you two?” She questions as looks at me “you both have finally realized it?” 

I look at her in shock. My face goes red as a tomato in a matter of seconds.

I have no idea what to say 

“It’s okay, love. He didn’t tell me, I just overheard your conversation while I was cleaning up dinner. The windows are open.” 

I let out a breath and reply “I love him so much Alma. So, so much.” 

“I know dear, and I’m so happy for the two of you. I can l see the amount of love you share between each other and it’s been an amazing thing to watch unfold.” 

I smile and feel tears come to my eyes, threatening to spill. 

“I just wish it didn’t take us this long to figure it out” 

“Oh, honey. You have the rest of your lives. The love you two share now you’ve shared since you were 7 and 9, it’s just taken you a little while to realize that it’s not just platonic love, but real, overwhelming, can’t live without you type of love.” 

“He’s truly amazing Alma, in every aspect of my life, you raised him so well. I don’t deserve him.” 

“Tessa. Listen to me. You two deserve each other, you deserve to live and love wholeheartedly together. You’ve worked so hard to get to where you are and I couldn’t imagine another woman with Scott or another man with you, but maybe thats just me being bias.” 

She pauses for a second and looks out to her yard, thinking. “We all see it you know. The way you look at each other like the other has hung the stars, the way you can make each other erupt into laughter without even trying, how you both are unconditionally devoted to one another. Its absolutely magical and if you ask me It’s fate my dear, you two were meant to be together.” 

“I like to think so.” I say with a warm smile. 

She pulls me into a hug and I couldn’t feel more at peace. 

“The secrets safe with me, okay. I won’t say anything, to anyone, I promise.” 

“Thank you Alma.” 

She gives me a heartwarming smile, squeezes my hand again, gets up and goes back inside. 

I sit for another few minutes, just taking in what happened. I won’t tell Scott, he’ll be so upset he wasn’t here to tell his mom. 

Once I make my way inside, the kids are all asleep on the couch and the floor in various positions. 

I snicker, then yawn. I realize how tired I am and the 3 very full glasses of wine I inhaled over dinner don’t help much either. 

Alma and the rest of the adults notice. 

“oh tess, you gotta stay here kid, the last thing Scott would want is for you to drive home like this.” Danny says 

Charlie nods and alma replies “honey, go upstairs and sleep in his bed. I know he would want you too.” 

I nod, go around and say goodnight to everyone and that it was such a pleasure to see them, which it is, always. 

Danny gives me a big hug just as im headed to the stairs and whispers “im so happy for you both, tess” 

I squeeze him back as a thank you, then pull away and head upstairs. 

When I get to Scotts room it’s like a wave of nostalgia hits me. It looks exactly the same since we were last here, and since he was 18. 

The maple leafs poster above his bed, the Canada flag draped along his one free wall, then a portion of his medals (the olympic ones are safely in Montreal) and pictures of him and I. 

It’s so Scott it’s ridiculous. 

I don’t have anything to wear to bed so I change out of my clothes and shuffle through Scotts stuff and find a pair of sweatpants that I left here (on purpose) once and one of his old leafs shirts that he knows I love to sleep in. 

I head to the bathroom and find a purple toothbrush, still packaged under the sink with a sticky note attached and ‘tessa’ written on it.

The Moir house is much too prepared for whenever I come over, but I love it. 

Once i’m snuggled up in his bed and under the covers, I send Scott a quick text, 

‘sleeping at your house tonight, too much wine. Love you’ 

As soon as I put the phone down and my head hits the pillow, im out. 

—- —- —- 

When I wake up in the morning i’m slightly confused at first as to why i’m in Scott’s room, in his clothes, in his bed, without him. 

Then I remember what got me here. 

Wine and dinner at the Moir house. 

Recalling the nights events immediately causes a smile to appear on my face. I feel so much relief after talking to alma. She gets it, and it happy for us. Its all I could ask for.

After giving myself a few minutes to wake up I grab my phone, I have a missed call and a few texts from Scott. 

‘wow, I wish I could see you right now. My fiancé, in my clothes, in my bed. What a sight. I’m definitely missing out. Goodnight babe, sleep well.’ 

‘Morning kiddo, hope you slept well. Call you later, love you.’ 

‘Its 11:30, Tess. I should’ve known not to call you until at least noon. Text me when you wake up.’ 

I shake my head and let yet another smile creep across my face this morning. 

‘you should’ve known, Im disappointed. I did sleep well though, better than I have in ages. Also I do look good in your clothes, too bad you missed it.’ 

I send off the text and pick myself out of bed. 

I change into what I wore last night and head downstairs. 

Alma and Joe are standing In the kitchen and both turn when they hear me stumble into the kitchen. 

“Good afternoon miss Tessa” Joe states with a chuckle “Scott was most definitely right when he called this morning at 11:30 and said you’d be asleep until at least noon.” 

I laugh along with him and alma and shrug “almost 20 years together, you’d think he would know, eh?” 

They both smile at me and hand me a cup of coffee. 

I mouth ‘thank you’ as I sit down at the kitchen table with them. 

We chat for what seems like hours, go through at least two coffee pots and a handful of breakfast pastries. 

When I eventually look at the clock and see that it’s 2:58pm I tell them I must go, but that i’ve had an absolutely wonderful time, because I really have. 

I hug them both and head out the door, to my car and back to my house. 

I leave back for tour tomorrow and have a few things to get done; call Jeremy, laundry, go out for dinner with mom and Jordan. 

The basics. 

I also need to touch base with Scott too, mostly because I just want to hear his voice. 

—- —- —- 

The rest of the day goes by in the blink of an eye, one minute im on the phone with Jeremy, coordinating where we’re going to meet at London international tomorrow morning, the next I have four loads of laundry on the go and then all of the sudden im sitting at dinner with Jordan and my mom. 

Dinner is mostly quiet, we chat about the usual; fashion, Jordans boyfriend, Mark was it? The next phase our tour, and of course my night at the Moir’s, even though I know my mom will hear all about it tomorrow when her and alma meet up for their usual coffee date. 

It was nice and relaxing and a good way to end the break. 

The end of break though, just means that im 25 more days closer to seeing Scott. 

25 more days before he’s back into my arms, for good. 

That is enough to keep me going. 

It’s the endgame, the reward after all of this, is him. 

— —- —- 

Jeremy and I meet at London International at 9am and i’m so excited to see him. 

So when he pops around the corner and towards our gate I can’t help but run up to him and give him a big hug. 

“jer! I’m so happy to see you.” 

“hey tess, i’ve missed you too.” 

I look up at him with a big smile and nod towards the gate, we’ve got a plane to catch to Winnipeg. 

We spend the duration of the flight talking about our breaks. 

He went to whistler with his girlfriend Rebecca for 4 out of the 7 days and then spent the rest of his time at his house in Vancouver, going out for dinner and spending quality alone time with his little brother and sister and of course the rest of his immediate family. 

I didn’t know he had a girlfriend until then, I always thought him and Lauren were maybe together. 

He saw the puzzled look on my face and explained. 

Him and Lauren were never made to work, they are 100% friends through and through. Nothing more and nothing less. 

Lauren actually set him up with Rebecca a few years back. He said he has never once thought about Lauren in that light and never will. 

He keeps his girlfriend quiet and away from the attention he gets because she doesn’t like the limelight and he doesn’t need the world to know that he’s is in love and happy because thats for him, Rebecca, his close family and friends to know. 

He likes the bubble and wants to stay in it. 

I’ve never related to anything more in my entire life. 

I tell him about my break, too. The shopping, the spa, the amount of coffee my mom and I inhaled and about my trip to the Moir house. 

I also tell him about how Alma and Danny know and how happy they are for Scott and I and Jeremy cant help but smile and give me a reassuring squeeze on the arm as if to say ‘everyone you tell is going to be over the moon for you both, tess’

I make him promise not to say anything to Scott because Jeremy and I both know how upset Scott would be if he knew that his mom and brother both found out about us and he wasn’t even there to see their reactions. 

Once we land, again it’s a big blur of buses and fans and check ins at the hotel. 

The back half of the tour is going to be great, I can feel it. 

—- —- —- 

And it is great, especially because its only 6 days until I see Scott again. 

We do so many shows, each and everyone better than the last, its exhilarating. 

The rush Jeremy and I get while we’re on the ice night after night is a feeling neither of us ever want to lose. 

The standing ovations, the roar of the crowds, it’s all purely magnificent. 

Each city we go to seems to get more and more beautiful. It’s the second time we’ve been in Toronto for the tour and it gets even more breathtaking every time I set foot in it, no matter how many times before i’ve been.

We hop all over the country, hitting cities time and time again, doing more than one show in almost all of the cities, it’s a life i’m so grateful to live, being able to travel all over to skate, it’s everything and more. 

I can’t get enough of this beautiful country. 

We have 4 days in Toronto before we head to Vancouver for the final show. 

We do the tourist things we’ve all done a billion times before but will still do again for a picture or two. 

We do two magnificent shows with electrifying crowds. 

— — —- 

So, with all the shows in Toronto finally finished and one night left in the big city, Jeremy, Kaitlyn, Andrew, kaetlyn, gabby, Javi and I decide to go out and dance, to head to a club and have some fun. 

Im wearing a skin tight black dress that hugs me in all the right spots, my hair is down, loose and wavy and my makeup looks just right. The red lipstick I apply really brings the look together. 

If only Scott were here to see this outfit in person. 

So I decide to text a pic of myself fully done up and send it to him. I send along a message with it. 

‘6 days, baby. 6 days ;)’ 

I smirk as I send it and patiently wait for a reply. 

I don’t have to wait long. 

‘tessa, WOW. You look absolutely amazing. I don't know if ill be able to wait 6 days to see you though, I might be die first. Especially if you keep sending me pictures of you looking like THAT.’ 

Then a second one 

‘also, be safe, please. You look too good to be left alone and I don’t want to think of what could happen if you are.’ 

‘i’ll be safe, promise. I love you. I’ll text you when i’m back at the hotel.’

He’s right though, without him here and without us being ‘out’ as a couple im technically a single woman in Toronto who looks like they want to be fucked.

Which I do, just by no one other than my fiancé. 

All of the sudden the only things I can think of are all the drunk men that are going to want a piece of me tonight and I shudder at the thought. 

Maybe we should just stay in tonight, this is probably not a good idea and I can only imagine how uncomfortable Scott is right now after seeing me in my unintentional seductress outfit. 

Unfortunately, my weak plan to stay in is ruined when I hear a knock at my door. 

Its Jeremy, of course. 

So I open the door, nervous as hell. 

But when I look at him and see his smile I know everything is going to be ok, because I have him to keep me safe, even when Scott cant. 

“Wow T, you look great. Scott sure is missing out hey” he laughs and gives me a wink

I smack him on the arm but mutter “thank you” as I close the door behind us. 

— —- —- 

We’re about an hour into being at this one club and im genuinely having a great time. Im dancing with everyone and laughing and drinking random drinks and really, as I wanted too, am letting loose. 

Jeremy is close by, always. Every time a random, drunk asshole comes up to me and tries to buy me a drink, or grind into my ass on the dance floor, he comes up, wraps his arm around my waist, plants a light Kiss on my cheek and says ‘hey babe’. 

Every single time he does the random asshole turns and walks the other way. 

So when the two of us end up sitting outside on the patio of the bar at 1am, I should be surprised. 

We’re just chatting and taking in our last night in Toronto, like normal, actually platonic friends. 

“Thanks for this, jer, All of it.”

He looks at me a little confused so I continue.

“With the Bryce shit and the plane nerves and the obnoxious drunk guys tonight and for really being my rock these past two months. I seriously wouldn’t have made it through the tour without you and I hope you know that.” 

He just looks at me with a drunken smile on his face and kisses my temple. 

“Youre so, so welcome Tess. I know how much you needed me and I would do it all over it again. Scott and you have something so special and I know how much you reply on him and vice versa during tour and I just wanted to be half as good to you as Scott would normally be. I know that this whole situation was super not easy for either of you and being able to help both of you through this is the least I can do, seriously. I’ve also gained two incredible friends out it and I couldn’t be more grateful.” 

I just look back at him, smile and go in for a hug. 

“you’re the best, Rebecca is so lucky to have you.”

“i know” he snickers back “and in regards to Rebecca, im so lucky to have her”

We sit in silence for about 20 more minutes before we decide to head back to the hotel because all of us are exhausted and need to get a good rest since we are traveling tomorrow. 

When I get back I basically face plant into my bed. 

After about five minutes of sitting face down on the bed I realize I need to take off my makeup and change into something much comfier. 

so, 30 minutes later i’ve showered, braided my hair and am snuggled up in my favourite maple leafs t-shirt of Scotts and a pair of cotton sleep shorts and I am ready for bed. 

It’s just about 2am here and almost 12 am in alberta where Scott is right now so he should be awake. Meet and greet would’ve just ended and because tonight was their last show they’re probably our celebrating. 

But I promised I would text him when I got back to the hotel so I do 

‘hey babe, just got in and am about to go to bed. Have fun celebrating, im so proud of you.’ 

And with the thought of seeing Scott in 5 days I drift off to sleep. 

—- —- —- 

I wake up the next morning to the smell of coffee and the sound of someone shuffling around my room. 

“ah, there she is. Good morning sleeping beauty” 

“jeremy. Why are you in my room?” I say groggily 

“we have to leave for the airport in 30 minutes and I know for a fact you drank to much last night and would definitely sleep though your alarm, which you did. so, here I am.”

“ughhhh I dont wanna get uppp” 

“i know tess but we’ve got a plane to Victoria to catch and two more shows left until you can sleep as late as you want.” 

I nod into my pillow and shoo him away with my hand “i’ll be down in 15 minutes” 

He laughs and walks himself out. 

It’s a good thing i’m already packed because if I wasn’t there would be no way I would make it to the airport on time. 

I’m also very grateful for the flat white sitting on my side table and I take a nice long drink before I jump into another hectic day.

—- —- —- 

Victoria is beautiful. Downtown is so quaint and lovely, the parliament buildings stand so tall and proud and I just love being able to look out onto the water as Jeremy and I walk around, taking pictures at random landmarks and outside the parliament buildings. 

We get ice cream and take a little boat taxi across the harbour. Such a lovely day. 

The show that night is just as wonderful and i’m so glad we decided to add Victoria to the end of tour last minute.

Once again, all the numbers go smoothly and Jeremy and I perform probably the best we have all tour. 

You couldn’t wipe the smile off my face if you tried, especially when Bryce falls after every one of his jumps. 

I can’t help but laugh at the bastard. Karmas a fucking bitch. 

After the show we all just went back to the hotel and crashed, as the next day is yet another travel day. We have a 2 hour ferry ride then another hour car ride after to the hotel. 

The ferry ride is fun, we take pictures on the deck and spend the entire time laughing and giggling at Jeremy’s inability to take a non blurry picture. 

Kaitlyn and I recreate the titanic rose and jack picture and we spend at least 10 minutes after dying of laughter at how ridiculous we look. 

Travel days are so much better when we aren’t strapped down in a plane for hours on end. 

When we finally get to the hotel and check in I take all my stuff up to the room. 

I’m a little surprised when I enter the room though, there is one king size bed in the middle of the room and the bathroom to the left of it. 

Why isn’t there one queen and a pullout bed? 

I out my stuff down then walk over to the windowsill to look out onto the beautiful city of Vancouver when I see a bouquet of flowers and a note. 

Its absolute breathtaking, there are a so any different types of flowers, some bright pink and deep purple, others are a soft red and then some white ones. 

It’s the most beautiful bouquet i’ve ever seen. 

I pick up the note, its folded over and says “tessa” written on the front in cursive. 

I open it and my heart swells. 

‘tess, 

You are as beautiful and radiant as the flowers in front of you.  
Have a wonderful last show, my love. 

3 days,  
Scott’ 

I press the note to my heart and take in a deep breath. 

3 days, 3 fucking days. 

I couldn’t be more excited. 

With the flowers and the note still next to me I send him a quick text. 

‘what did I do to deserve you? thank you.’ 

I just sit at the windowsill, looking out, thinking, reflecting, note still clutched to my heart when my phone buzzes twice 

‘anything for you tess.’ 

‘notice the change of room last minute? I may have pulled some strings and made a phone call or two. See you soon, baby.’ 

Of course he changed the room to accommodate the two of us. I mean I guess he does have to stay somewhere when he lands right? 

‘god, I love you.’ I reply 

That’s the last I hear from him the rest othe day. 

I don’t have much time to relax, Jeremy and I are making a number of media appearances today and tomorrow. Not to mention we have to go for our practice ice time and eventually eat and sleep. 

There won’t be time to think about Scott until he’s here in the flesh. 

I know myself well enough though that if I give myself anytime to think about him being here in 3 days I will be way too distracted and very unproductive. 

—- —- —- 

So I throw myself into these last few days. 

I attend photo shoots and media appearances and go out for meals with the cast and crew and laugh until my stomach hurts and sleep as much as possible. 

Jeremy and I take the ice with such purpose and make the most out of our limited time together. 

We go for dinner on the last night before the show and talk and laugh and make plans for him and Lauren to join Scott and I for dinner at least once a week. 

He’s gotten to be such a better skater throughout the time i’ve gotten to work with him. He’s stronger and more confident on the ice, takes it with such purpose and drive. He commands the audience and has been really working on connecting with not just me but the skaters and the audience around him during our skates.

I’m so proud of him, he’s come such a long way from this shy guy I met just over two months ago. 

This was the purpose of this whole goddamn thing, i’ve realized. It was To bring Jeremy up to his full potential, to get him and Lauren ready to compete at the Olympics next year. 

If you ask me it for sure worked and was most definitely worth all the heartache and hours we poured into making him, and in turn, myself better. 

We split the bill and walk back to the hotel I silence. 

It’s not uncomfortable, but nice. 

He walks me to my room and gives me a hug before heading across the hall to his room

“night, tess” 

“night jer” 

And with that, there is only one more night until it’s all over. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t sad this tour is ending, because i’ve had such a great time. 

So while I sit in bed and take a look at Scotts recent text, ‘one more day, Tess. I love you.’ I think about everything thats happened to get me to this point. 

And if I think really hard about the tour as a whole, It was almost perfect.

There was obviously one thing (human) missing from making this the most perfect tour ever, but still, no matter the circumstances, its a tour I will most definitely remember. 

It’s the tour where I realized I don’t need Scott with me to be happy and have a good time on tour, even though I would much rather him be. 

Its a tour where I found a genuine, potential lifelong friend (Jeremy) in the most unlikely of situations, but we all ended up ok, more than ok. 

When I look back at this tour, it will always be with a smile on my face. 

I’ve made some memories here that will last a lifetime and I am 100% ok with that.

And with that, 

I drift off alone, for the last time. 

—- —- —- 

Today’s the day. 

I get to see him. 

I dont think ive ever woken up smiling, but today is monumental. 

I am so ready, so ready to get back into his arms and hug him and kiss him and hear his laugh in person and to just be around him. 

As I get ready for the day there is a lightness to my entire body and mood literally nothing could ruin this day, literally nothing. 

When I get to the rink after Jeremy and I’s lunch everyone around me is in just as great of a mood and there is such a wonderful atmosphere in the arena right now I wish I could bottle it up and keep it forever. 

Im laughing at everything and joking around a little extra than usual and an making sure to give everyone hugs and telling them all (except Bryce) how much of a wonderful time i’ve had with them and how I cannot wait until the next opportunity arises to work with them. 

It’s not a lie, every one of these skaters are amazing human beings and I seriously would work with every single one of them again. 

About two hours before the show Scott texts me ‘landed’ and my heart jumps out of my face. 

I’m with Jeremy when I get the text and he cant help but laugh at how giddy I am because of one word. 

He shakes his head, still laughing and mutters something along the lines of ‘you’re ridiculous’ under his breath. 

His girlfriend is coming to the show so I know he’s just as excited to see her as I am to see Scott. 

—- —- —-

The Shows about to start and I haven’t seen Scott yet. Jeremy and I are in the hallway waiting for the group number to start, everyone else is still in the change room getting ready, doing the last little touch ups to their makeup and hair, retying their skates, the usual. 

Jeremy can tell how jittery I am so he takes my hands in his and looks me dead in the eyes. 

“you know he wouldn’t miss this for the world, tess. You know that.”

“I know, I know, I know. I’m just so over waiting jer. I need to see him.” 

He nods in agreement “soon enough, I promise.” 

I nod back furiously as he pulls me into a hug. 

We stay like this for a while, our breathing synching and eventually taking out all the nerves and excitement from my body, grounding me. 

Scotts coming but I still have a show to do. 

I’m about to pull away when he says “thank you, Tessa. For everything. It’s been an absolute honour.” 

I squeeze him tight then let go and look into his ocean blue eyes and smile. 

It’s showtime. 

—- —- —- 

The first half flies by, it goes so, so well. Jeremy and I hands down have our best performance of the tour, topping Victoria without even trying. 

The group numbers are electric and fun and it feels like the first show all over again, everyone’s laughing and singing along. 

Once intermission starts I still haven’t seen or heard from Scott and I’m getting slightly worried. He hasn’t texted or called or given me so much as a peep since the ‘landed’ text. 

But I can’t focus on him right now, I have to redo my hair and touch up my makeup and need to change and drink some water and have a snack and only 20 minutes to do so. 

The second half is about to start and Scott is still MIA. Jeremy has been texting someone since the second we got off the ice for intermission and I can’t help but wonder who it is. 

Whenever I get too close Jeremy runs the other way. He’s being so, so weird and i’m very over it. 

But I ignore it, grab his hand and skate out onto the ice for Jeremy and i’s second number. 

It goes amazing, as we both expected it too. 

Im smiling ear to ear by the time the finale comes around.everyone has skated so phenomenally tonight, what a show. 

It’s time for the finale, hands down my favourite number of the entire tour. 

Im wearing this beautiful, simple short white dress, my hair is tied in a low bun and i’m ready to rock and roll. 

When the music starts, it fills my body and my soul, i’m gliding across the ice, so freely and effortlessly, trying to soak up every last second of being on the ice tonight. 

I feel so light and happy and it’s everything. 

Jeremy and I transition into our lifts and they’re executed perfectly, the crowd roars as the rest of the skaters circle us. 

Everyone is transitioning into the final 30 seconds of the number when it’s time for my solo spin. 

Whoever had the idea of giving me a solo spin in the final number needs to be talked too because it’s the most frightening part of every show for me. 

tonight though, it feels different, feels good, natural. 

So Jeremy spins away from me and im left in the centre, spinning away, the spotlight on, the rest of the rink dark. 

Once im done my solo spin Jeremy comes back and we spin together and into the final pose. 

But the hands on my hips aren’t Jeremys

The hair I run my hands through isnt Jeremys 

The shoulders im gripping with my entire life aren’t Jeremys. 

We get into the end position and im in literal shock. 

Im looking into hazel eyes, the ones that stop time and captivate me every goddamn time I look into them. 

Its him

He’s here. 

He’s on the ice and I have zero fucking clue how he and Jeremy managed to switch places on the ice so quickly without me noticing. 

Im shaking and trying to catch my breath but all I can do is stare into his eyes and smile. 

Once the crowd stops screaming and the lights go out I collapse into his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck. 

I’ve Waited so, so long for this. 

I’m holding onto him with everything in me and I think if I let go I might die. 

“hi, baby.” He says into my hair 

“hi” I choke out, trying to repress all the emotion i’m feeling, instead I just squeeze him harder. 

“let’s go, eh?” he says, letting me go, but taking my hand, pulling me close so I can hold onto his arm. 

I rest my head on his shoulder as we skate to the exit. 

Most of the cast looks at Scott and I in awe. 

Once we’re off the ice, we put our guards on and I basically drag him to the nearest dressing room. 

Before Scott and I enter the room I make eye contact with Jeremy and he’s smiling ear to ear, he’s got his arm wrapped around Rebecca and he looks so god damn happy. 

I don’t think either of us could get any more happy right now. 

Once Scott and I are inside, I don’t look or say anything at him. I just sit down and take off my skates. 

He does the same, except with a smirk on his face. 

After our skates are off I don’t waste anymore time. 

I run across the room and jump into his arms and let out a sob. 

He lets one out too and it’s the most perfect moment. We stay like that, my legs wrapped around his waist and his arms locked around my torso, our heads buried into each others necks for what seems like years. 

After we’ve both calmed down and are not bawling like little girls, he sets me down and brings his hands to my face, pulls me in and kisses me. 

Its soft, but so filled with love and longing for each other that 61 days apart will bring. 

After a minute or two we finally pull apart and look into each others eyes again. 

“i missed you so much scott” 

“i know, baby. I missed you too.” 

He’s here

It’s finally over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EEEP I hope you liked it 
> 
> Stay tuned for Scott’s tour !! 
> 
> Xx


	9. Scotts Tour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott goes on tour without Tessa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its here!!! 
> 
> im so excited for you guys to read the SECOND LAST CHAPTER of this fic! 
> 
> what a journey it has been and i thank you all from the bottom of my heart for sticking with me.
> 
> enjoy

“61 sleeps Scotty. Then im all yours.” 

“61 sleeps” I repeat back quietly 

Our foreheads rest against each other for a moment or five and I feel Tessa take a sharp breath in as she wills herself to pull away. 

“I love you so, so much, Scott. Don’t ever forget that.” 

I nod, trying to keep it together. I cant guarantee that the next things that come out of my mouth wont be sobs or pleas for her to stay so I stay quiet.

“There is Skype and texting and facetime for a reason. Time is going to fly by. I’ll be back in your arms in no time.” 

I nod again 

“I need you to say something” and I can tell she’s starting to slightly panic at my sudden lack of speech

“I just love you, Tess. More than anything. I love you.” 

She smiles her famous Tessa Virtue smile and leans in, planting a soft kiss on my lips. 

When we part, her hands rest on my chest for a second before I move them to rest over my heart, I can feel her hands shake, she’s scared. 

“You and me, always” I say, leaning in. I plant a shaky kiss on her forehead and drop her hands from my heart. 

Then I turn my back to her, trying to keep the tears from spilling, walk around the corner, and im gone. 

But im not actually gone. 

I stand, back pressed against the wall of the corner I just turned and for at least another five minutes. While there, tears are slowly dripping down my face, as I contemplate my next move. 

I finally make a decision. 

Thats it. This is not happening, the tour is not happening. She’s not being taken away from me for 61 days, she’s not. 

I start to walk back towards where I left her, hoping, praying that she will still be there, waiting for me. 

But when I get to the edge of security and look around, she’s already gone. 

My head hangs low and I have the sudden urge to punch something. 

I shouldn’t have waited so long, I fucking shouldn’t have let her go, I could’ve stopped this. 

I could’ve said no. 

Then, a voice. 

“She just left ya know. She waited for you to come back.”

I snap my head in the direction of the voice. Its a older man, looks to be about 70. 

“Im sorry?” I mange to get out

“The girl you left standing here crying 10 minutes ago? She stood in the exact spot you left her for at least 7 of those 10 minutes, staring at the corner that you turned. She waited.” 

I open my mouth to say something back but nothing comes out. 

Im literally dumbfounded.

“She did eventually stop crying though. Wiped her tears, took a deep breath, picked up her bags and continued on to wherever she’s headed. I hope you not coming back sooner doesn’t have any consequences young man because by the looks of it you both seem pretty upset.” 

“Yeah, upset is one way to put it” I scoff 

“Well, I hope whatever happens you eventually find your way back to each other because even a blind man could see and feel the love between you two. I watched the whole thing.”

I nod, he walks away and im left standing, thinking about what the fuck just happened. 

I run my hands through my hair, infuriated with myself for not getting my shit together just a few minutes earlier. 

But there is nothing I can do, I just have to wait the agonizing 61 sleeps and hope to god she doesn’t fall in love with Jeremy. 

I laugh at the thought and think, of course she wont fall in love with Jeremy, she’s engaged to you, you dumb fuck. 

Speaking of being engaged, she still doesn’t have a ring. 

I sigh, remembering that harsh reality, along with the fact the only people who know we are together are our coaches and each other. 

What a god damn mess. 

—- —- —- 

The drive back home is somber to say the least, all of the music playing on the radio is sad and dressing, all with the same general story about lost lovers or people trying to find their way back to each other.

Its exhausting. 

Not to mention as soon as I reenter a wifi zone, my phone literally lights up with texts from my brothers, mother, Kate, and Jordan, all saying the same thing just worded differently. 

‘you fucking dumb ass, did you really just let her get on that plane?’ -danny 

‘so I hear my little sister got on the plane. You actually didn't do anything, Scott?.’ -jordan 

‘get your head out of your ass and go get her, scotty.’ -charlie 

‘i know how much the both of you are hurting, but you have got to stay strong and get though this together, or better yet, hop on the next plane to Hamilton.’-alma 

‘you know I love you like my own son, but, what the fuck?’- Kate 

They're all right. 

Even if I am ready to yell at all of them and give them a piece of my mind (yes all of them, Kate and Jordan have been a part of the family since the day Tessa and I started skating together so they count)

I shouldn’t have let her go and thats that. 

But The funny thing about all those texts Is, they dont even know we’re together. 

I cant change it now, I can only countdown down the days and prepare myself for the day she comes back to me. 

So the days pass slowly and we text and we call and we faceitme and Skype until the ungodly hours of the night. 

Its a good rhythm, obviously not ideal, but it works. 

—- —- —- 

Other than talking to Tessa as much as possible, im knee deep in getting ready for Lauren and i’s tour. 

She’s funny enough and nice but hands down the most clingy and annoying person ive ever met in my entire life. 

She’s so very needy and always needs validation from me and its just something I am very not used too. 

Tessa is so sure of herself and her skating ability while on the ice, seeing someone so vulnerable and afraid of making a mistake is a bit weird, but I try to make her feel as calm and grounded as possible. 

Ive never dropped Tessa and I dont plan on dropping Lauren, its all going to be fine, I just dont think Lauren has realized yet. 

I also know how she’s feeling, being away from Jeremy. 

He’s her rock and its so very evident on the ice, when she gets a little too into her head or gets frustrated because she cant get a step sequence right, she always calls him. 

And he always picks up, always. 

What they talk about or how he helps her Ill never know but she always comes back to the ice more relaxed and confident. 

Its weird to see Lauren and Jeremy rely on each other like Tessa and I do, its almost like looking into our own lives, through two different people. 

When Lauren skates, she reminds me a lot of Tessa. She glides beautifully and has facial expressions that should be given an Oscar. 

But off the ice, she is something else. 

When Tessa and Jeremy were still in Montreal it was fine, she hung around Jeremy mostly and all was good, but now that they both gone, im the person she sees the most and let me tell you I was not ready for this. 

She’s like my nieces and nephews. 

She doesn’t act her age, most of the time I think she’s 15 at the way she whines and bitches about step sequences or lifts she doesn’t want to try or in picking music. 

She complains about lack of sleep and texts me 24/7 because ‘ Scott im bored and I need human interaction’ 

She laughs a little too loud and is accidentally offensive towards Tessa and I’s partnership (it really is accidental). 

For example, when we are talking about how Lauren and I should be connecting on the ice and she says “im not fucking him, how are we supposed to connect.” 

When she fully knows it hasn’t been like that until a few months ago. 

She undermines the work that tess and I have put into our partnership and skating all these years and it irks me to no end. 

But the worst of all, is probably the fact that she also never leaves me alone. 

I could be at home, watching tv or cooking or talking to Tessa, and she will randomly show up at my apartment. 

The first time was the day Tessa and Jeremy left, which I get. She was lonely, I was lonely. So we watched a movie and ate dinner and she left the second the movie was over with a “thanks for this, Scott.” 

But then it started happening again, and again. 

The worst time was the time she came over unannounced while I was in the shower. 

I guess I forgot to lock the front door, so she let herself in, turned on the tv, grabbed a snack and started watching some stupid HGTV show, all while I was in the shower and completely unaware of her presence. 

So when I walked into my kitchen with just a towel wrapped around my waist and Tessa on FaceTime, you can imagine my surprise. 

It didnt dawn on me at first that there was someone in my house, T and I were just chatting about the day and this Bryce guy she couldn’t seem to figure out (but once she did figure him out let me tell you I was ready to kill someone-mostly him) when I noticed I could hear the tv. 

I thought I just left it on by accident and continued on with Tess. 

Then when I looked in the fridge and saw that my leftover pasta from last night was missing, I started to become a little confused. 

Then, about 30 seconds later she walked into my fucking kitchen with a grin much to wide for 8pm and pasta bowl in hand I almost lost my shit. 

“Hey scotty, whats up?” She said so nonchalantly I almost fell over.

I glanced back at Tessa who seemed to be just as confused then back up to Lauren, my jaw literally on the floor. 

Both Tess and I speechless. 

“Lauren. What in gods name are you doing here.” 

“What do you mean? I texted you saying I let myself in.” 

I just stared at her eyes bugging out of my head, silence filled the room while I tried to figure out my next move.

“You need to go, Lauren. Im sorry. But you cant just let yourself into my fucking house while im in the fucking shower! I get that youre upset and lonely about Jeremy being with Tessa right now and trust me im feeling it too, but this, this is not ok.” 

I said this to her as we walked towards the door (read: me showing her the exit, opening the front door, ushering her out and slamming the door) 

The next day at practice she apologized and said she wouldn’t do it again. 

But, to no surprise, she still does. 

She texts me first, at least, and doesn’t come over until ive replied. 

Most of the time we talk with Tessa and Jeremy over Skype or she watches some stupid movie while I read a book or cook dinner or take a nap. 

So yeah, Lauren may be the most annoying, clingy person ive ever met, but its nice to have someone around (i will never tell her that). 

—- —- —-   
TESSA’S SHOW DAY #1 

I just walked in the door of my place, dropped all my skating stuff on the floor and flopped onto the couch. Its about 5:30pm and Lauren and I spent the whole day at the rink working on one of our numbers to the song ‘cheap thrills’ by Sia. 

Its been a really great training day and Lauren and I are really starting to get excited for our tour, which leaves in 3 days when the phone rings. 

Its Tessa and couldn’t be happier. 

I let it ring a few times so I can look at her cute little profile picture. 

“Hey baby! Getting ready for the show? I can’t wait to hear all about it! I’m sure you look beautiful” I say, hoping to pump her up some more. 

She stays silent though, the sound of ragged breathing fill the speaker. 

I stay quiet for another minute, waiting for her to lay whatever it is on me, but the silence turns out to be too much so I break it.

“Tess? You there?”

She lets out the heart wrenching noise, somewhere between a sob and a scream. It shoots right though me and im suddenly feeling physically ill. 

“Tessa. What’s wrong, what is it. Say something.”

She still doesn’t say anything and im about to call Jeremy from my laptop because I am fucking worried, until she finally speaks and I almost miss it, because its so quiet.

“Scott”

“Baby” I reply, unsteadily “Whats going on.”

“He’s here.”

“Whos here?” I asks, probably more confused than I have ever been before in my entire life.

“The guy, from the bar, the one who you know—” 

And she stops because she has to let out another sob. 

Adrenaline shoots though my entire body and im in full on fight mode. 

“Who is it” I say, quietly, but sharp as a knife “Who Is it Tess.”

Im so angry that im shaking. When I find out who it is I swear to god.

Im cut out of my thoughts hen she mutters the bastards name. 

“Bryce”

Im literally seeing red. 

“No, no, no. I’m going to kill him.” I state, full on ready to strangle him with my own two hands. 

“I don’t know what to do Scott” she replies, voice small and shaky and it brings me back to after her first surgery, when she couldn’t even look at me, and when she did, she looked afraid and broken, no one even close to the strong, independent, passionate Tessa I was so desperately in love with.

There are so many emotions running through me I dont even realize the tears of anger running down my face. 

“I know what i’m going to do, im going to hop on a plane and fucking kill him.” 

I hear some shuffling in the background and then a male voice and im about ready to jump through the phone when a familiar voice fills my ears 

“Hello?” 

“Jeremy, thank fuck.” 

“Scott, whats going on?” 

So I give him the important details and let will let Tessa handle the rest. 

I tell him that while in Helsinki, Tessa went off to a bar by herself, got absolutely wrecked out of her mind and had some guy borderline rape her, and the guy is fucking Bryce.

Jeremy and I go at it for about 5 more minutes. All I want is to do go and fucking kill him, but unfortunately thats not going to happen and Jeremy isnt going to let it happen even if I do decide to take it upon myself and fly down there and beat him to a pulp.

I just want to be near her, its my job to protect her and keep her out of harms way. Its my job to love her during times like this, to hold her close and tell her its going to be okay because im here and ive got her. 

But i cant, and if I cant then at least she’s got Jeremy. 

She’s going to be okay. 

And with that I let out the breath ive been holding in when Jeremy hands the phone back over to Tessa. 

“Tess,” I say, softly “it’s going to be ok. Jeremy isn’t going to let him near you ok. You’re going to be safe and he won’t be able to hurt you anymore.”

“Im so scared Scott” and those words break my heart into a trillion pieces. 

“I know, I know. You’ve gotta be strong my love, don’t let him win. You’re Tessa fucking Virtue almost Moir for god’s sake, don’t let him take anything from you.”

“I wont” she says, and I can tell she’s trying to pull herself together, slowly slathering on her media face and will pretend like everything is okay “I won’t let him” 

“That’s my girl. I love you so much. He’s not going to get away with this, Jeremy and I will make damn sure he doesn’t.”

“I love you too, so, so much.”

“Call me after the show ok, you’re unstoppable.”

And its then, after I hang up the phone, when I realize how much of a fucking mess this whole situation is and bang my head on my couch over and over again. 

—- —- —- 

The next few days go off without a hitch. 

Lauren and I are training our asses off right now and we feel super prepared for the shows. 

Tessa called me yesterday and told me that Jeremy set Bryce straight at the meet and greet after the show and he hasn't even looked in her general direction since which is a huge relief. 

I was so worried there for the first two days after and with my tour kicking off today It was not a good situation. 

But its tour day #1 and thats all I care abut right now. 

We are kicking it off in Calgary and I am so excited. 

Lauren and I have two super fun programs, one to ‘cheap thrills’ by Sia and the other to ‘close’ by Nick Jonas. 

They are upbeat and flirty and fun and exactly what we wanted for the tour.

The group numbers are awesome too, they will for sure get the crowd going and everyone in the place will have broken out into dance by the end of the show, I bet on it. 

Our cast is also pretty great, everyone is so nice and down to earth and we are always having a blast. 

But, I would say that having chiddy on tour is an extra blessing, and not just because it would help me detach from Lauren for bit.

Other than Tessa (obviously), he is definitely up there on my friends list, he is always down to hang out and goof around and he also accepts Tessa and i’s relationship for the way it is. He doesn’t ask too many questions and knows when he’s asking too much. He knows how to deflect for us and has always been so supportive. 

So when I found out he was on the tour too, I was and still am ecstatic. 

I haven’t outright told him or anyone else that Tessa and I are now together, but he has eyes and knows I have been spending a lot more time that usual on my phone and there really is only one logical reason. 

But he lets it go and just laughs to himself and even when the day comes that I decide to tell him, I know he will be just as happy for us as he’s always been. 

—- —- —- 

We’ve all been at the rink since about 10 this morning and its been so nonstop, as tour usually is. 

Especially for the first sow day. 

We had last minute costume fittings and run throughs of certain numbers and signing of posters and pictures and some media stuff, all while trying to keep Lauren from puking her guts out because of her nerves (unsuccessfully). 

When she told me in the morning that she was almost positive she was going to puke before the show I laughed at her.

People always say that and it almost never happens. But unfortunately for Lauren, it happened.

Without fail, about 30 minutes before showtime, we are putting on our finishing touches, tying skates when she runs, literally runs to the nearest garbage and completely empties the contents of her stomach. 

She states that she feels much better after and thank god because I dont know what I would do if she all of the sudden couldn’t skate, or if she pukes on me during one of the numbers.

Im not a singles skater for a few reasons and being partnerless is definitely one of them.

I seriously have no clue how chiddy and kaetlyn do it. How they go out there by themselves, all the pressure solely on them. Tessa and I have needed each other so, so much throughout our career when it comes to pre-competition nerves, and handling it all by yourself just seems impossible at this point. 

The weight of an entire competition on your shoulders, no one to turn to while youre in mid freakout seconds before youre about to step onto the ice and try to crank out the skate of your life. 

Again, no fucking clue how they do it. 

But, thankfully, Lauren has ended up being fine and we are going to kill it out there tonight. 

Its been a crazy day, But nonetheless im having a ball. 

So when showtime finally comes im bouncing like a child on my skates, and for the first time in the history of the world probably, Lauren tells me to “calm down Scott, youre acting so childish right now.” 

As if she can say that, she wrote the textbook definition of being childish. 

But I guess when she gets into the zone, she finally decides to act her age, which is honestly great. 

I just nod and smirk a little at the comment and continue bouncing while chatting to Erick about where we are going for drinks later in the week. 

Im not just excited about the show itself today, though. 

We’re in Calgary, which means I get to see Danny and his Tessa and their kids who I absolutely adore and have missed so fucking much. 

Being uncle Scott is one of my most favourite things ever. Other than skating, it gives me so much purpose, as weird as it sounds. 

I have these little people looking up at me, to be their role model and I want nothing more than to be the best person and role model I can be for them. 

So once the show is done im going to get some much needed family time in and I could burst with how happy I am about it. 

I wish my Tessa could be here to see them too, as much as I am blood to Danny and his kids, Tessa is just as much apart of the family and I know they’ve all missed her as well. 

Maybe ill try to squeeze in a short FaceTime call with her before the kids go to bed. 

Im snapped out of my thoughts when the opening music for the first number comes on and Lauren starts to drag me onto the ice. 

—- —- —- 

The show is absolutely amazing, its everything we all hoped it would be. 

The crowd is electric, feeding off our energy and vice versa. 

The hoots and the hollering, the clapping and the sanding ovations after every single performance. 

Its a dream in itself. 

Lauren and I absolutely demolish our skates. You couldn’t wipe the smile off our faces if you tried. 

There is like this rush of pure adrenaline and happiness once all the skates are over and everyone is getting ready for the meet and greet and I feel like I could do literally anything.

While im changing, im trying to remember what Tessa said about which shirt goes with what pants and humming along to some random tune in my head when I hear a little ‘ding’ come from my skating bag. 

Its Tess, and boy can that woman make anything better. 

‘Hello handsome, just saw some videos of the show and you were absolutely incredible. I am so in awe of you. I hope the meet and greet goes well, make sure to say hello to Danny and Tessa and give the kids a hug for me. I love you.’ 

I shoot a reply back and just wow, could today have gone any better? 

The answer is yes, because when I finally finish with the meet and greet I am swamped by two little squirts, simultaneously yelling “uncle Scott!!!!” As they rush towards me and into my embrace. 

So yeah, today could’ve gotten better, and it did. 

“Hey, little brother.” Danny says as he pats me on the back 

“Hey there, you old fart.” I laugh back, which earns me a slap on the arm 

“Lets get going, eh? Tess has some food ready for us back home and I would like to get the kids in bed before 2am.” 

I nod, pick up my skating stuff and head back to Dannys dad mobile. 

—- —- —- 

When we get back to the house its just after 11:30 and the kids are starting to crash. 

They spent the entire car ride back talking their little heads off about everything and anything going on in their lives that Danny hasn’t mentioned in his weekly updates. It doesn’t surprise me when I only get two hugs in and a “we love you uncle Scott, say hi to auntie Tessa for me” from each of them when we get in because in a matter of minutes of being in the door theyre dragging themselves up the stairs to go to bed. 

I promise to say hello to Tess for them and make a promise to come back out soon, once tour is over and before we have to dive back into our bubble. 

Then, finally Danny, Tessa two and I get to sit down and have a drink. 

As im getting comfortable on the couch I realize how quiet the two of them have gotten. 

I look up and them and theyre staring at me, blank expressions plastered on their faces.

“Uh, everything okay, guys?” I ask 

“Oh we are just fine, scotty.” Danny says 

Tessa nods in agreement 

“Then why are you look at me as if I just killed one of your kids?” I laugh dryly. 

“Well, for one, we know youre hiding something and we would like to know what, or more to the point, who.” Tessa starts 

“Just spit it out, Scott.” Danny replies “i haven’t seen you this happy in months and Tessa isnt even here. So, spill it.” 

I stare back at them in literal shock. They couldn’t have figured it out this quick, I haven’t even been with them for more than 2 Horus. 

So I sigh and run my hand through my hair, trying to buy some time to come up with an answer. 

But because I have no literal clue what to say and the beer im nursing seems to have given me a boost of unnecessary confidence, I just come out with it. 

“Tessa and i are engaged.” 

And boy, I wish I could’ve gotten their reaction on video. 

Im pretty sure they both look at me, jaws on the floor, eyes bugging out of their heads for a solid 3 minutes before Danny lets out the biggest sigh of relief. 

“Oh, scotty. Thank fuck.” He chuckles 

Tessa lets out a big breath as well and now its my turn to poke and prod at them about why they are acting so weird. 

“Come again?” I ask 

“We thought you had a new girl, a girl that wasn’t Tessa. Especially because you guys are touring alone, the whole fam is kind of freaking out, including the Virtues. Tess and I took it upon ourselves to approach you about it tonight and we were fully prepared to sit down with you and list off four hundred reasons as to why this new relationship would fail and may have had a list of youtube videos for you to watch if you said ‘well tess and I just aren’t like that’ one more god damn time.” 

I dont know what comes over me but I just start laughing my ass off. 

After a few minutes of losing my shit I finally calm down enough to form sentences. 

“Do you guys really think I could love any other person on the planet as much as I love her? Like really, I know ive been stupid and made horrible, god awful decisions in my life when its come to women, but ive been hers since the day I started to hold her hand, even if I didnt know it then.” 

Tessa sighs and grabs Dannys hand as I continue.

“Ive been head over heels in love with her since I was probably 18 if im being honest with myself. I just never knew a way to show her or be the type of person she needed until now. Ive spent the better part of 10 years trying to hide those feelings and push them all away, by throwing myself into bed and toxic relationships with other people to try and fill this Tessa sized void. But then one day, around the start of the comeback I realized that letting all these feelings out and letting her in is what I should’ve been doing all along.” 

Tessa’s softly crying in front of me and I even see that Danny has some unshed tears. 

I didnt realize until now how much of an impact Tessa and I not being together had on our families. I mean I know that if Tessa and I didnt end up together they would’ve been supportive and would 100% have taken in whoever tess and I decided to settle down with without complaint, but the amount of emotion and vulnerability im getting from both of them right now, it hits me hard. 

“We are so, so happy for you both Scott, seriously.” Tessa says 

Danny nods 

“Thanks, guys, really. But can I ask you guys a question?” I ask 

They both nod 

“Why were you so worried about us not ending up together though? Like I know it would’ve been weird if we didnt to be honest but like, in the end it would’ve been Tessa and i’s decision and no one else.” 

They both stay silent for a second until Danny starts up 

“i dont know if I have an answer for you there scotty. Ill try my best though.” He laughs 

Im eager for the answer, I want to know what have they been seeing that I haven’t all these years. 

“I think,” he starts, then pauses for a second “that with you and Tess if was never a matter of if but a matter of when. Both of you have had these walls up around yourselves when it comes to each other. I know that doesn’t make sense because you two are the probably closest human beings on the planet but we all saw it. The way you would look at one another when the other wasn’t looking, how it seemed as if she hung the stars right in front of you and vice versa. Not to mention the longing, wishfulness of what could be, plastered on your faces. You would never let the other see, though, and thats the wall. You both knew how much you had to lose and it was and still is a fucking lot. Neither of you wanted to risk losing the greatest aspect of your lives so you built a wall around those feelings.” 

I nod back, completely understanding what he’s saying and he’s so, so right. 

“Not to mention the fact every one of your coaches and mentors and therapists beat it into your heads that being together would be the worst thing ever for your skating, which I completely disagree with by the way. You both looked at the love between you as purely platonic because thats what you were taught. But, man scotty, you could never in a million years deny the pure love and adoration that radiates off of you guys on and off the ice. Its in the looks you give, the little touches here and there, the pre-skate hugs and and post-skate celebrations.” 

I dont even realize the tears running down my face as Danny talks until he pauses and looks at his Tessa with all the love in the entire world. 

Then he takes in a big breath and starts again.

“Just like you said, once you broke down your walls and let the feelings in, let each other into that unguarded territory, you’ve come out with something so uncharacteristically amazing. And I think thats why we were all so worried, because we all knew that if you tried to make it work with someone else, neither of you would be able to have that fulfilling, overwhelming, all consuming love that you have for each other. It would’ve devastated all of us because we all see it, how in a crowded room you always seemed to find each other, you can sense when the other is overwhelmed or feeling off and just needs some air, you two would literally jump in front of a bus to save the other and I just dont think either of you would have found that in another person. I dont think we would have ever gotten to see the genuine million dollar smiles that radiate off Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir again, I dont think either of you would be completely, truly happy without one another and you both deserve all the happiness in the world, the happiness that you two give each other.” 

“Youre two halves of a whole, Scott. And we are so, so happy that after all these years you’ve finally allowed yourselves to fall and be caught by the other.” Tessa replies, a genuine soft smile on her face. 

I dont have words on how to reply, I really dont. Everything they said, they truly meant and it fills my heart to no end with love for them, and for Tessa, oh for Tessa. 

The most incredible woman, my love, my rock, the only person I would ever even consider spending the rest of my life with, the things I would do to keep her happy and safe are never ending. 

If I get to see her smile and wake up next to her everyday until I die, ill have lived a good- no good doesn’t do it justice, it’ll have been an extraordinary life. 

Because with Tessa, life could never be short of incredible. 

“Wow, you guys I don’t even know what to say.” 

“Its okay little brother, its a lot to take in I know and im sorry I just unleashed that on you.” He says as he stands up and pats me on the shoulder 

“Im going to say it again because I can, we are all, so proud of you two for figuring your shit out and are finally letting yourselves be happy.” He smiles, but I can see he’s not finished, “you do know though that if you hurt her and fuck this up ill beat you to a pulp and the entire family will disown you.” 

I laugh at the comment and Tessa swats Danny on the arm while saying “no one will be disowning anyone and he is not going to screw this up, right Scott?” 

“Trust me dan, im going to spend everyday of the rest of my life making sure I dont. Women like Tessa dont come along very often and I have no intention of screwing it up.” 

“Youre one lucky bastard you know that?” He scoffs 

“Oh, I know.” 

Danny and Tessa go to bed right after that. 

They say their goodnights and Tessa leads the way upstairs, Danny swatting goofily at her butt as they ascend. She lets out a laugh as she reaches her hand behind her and waits for Danny’s hand to take it. 

I snicker at the exchange and cannot wait until Tessa and I are at the same point as Danny and Tessa two. 

They’ve been married for who knows how long but they always make it seem like theyre just kids in love, still figuring things out about each other, still excited to see one another after a long day of work, still choosing each other, no matter what. 

Its so pure and for the hundredth time tonight, my heart swells, it swells because I can see it for Tess and I, 30 years down the road, still having the same overwhelming love we have now. 

With thoughts of the future I float down the hall towards the guest bedroom, its already set up for me so all I have to do is change out of my clothes, use the bathroom and let my head hit the pillow. 

It might not be home, but it feels like it. Momentarily, being surrounded by Danny and his Tessa and the kids, it feels so good to be around family. 

—- —- —- 

The next morning Danny, Tessa and I have breakfast with the kids. 

Its a chill morning, consisting of coffee and toast and and ungodly amount paw patrol. The three of us make small talk while the kids rewatch the same episode of that god damn show for the fourth time that morning and its nice.

I would love to stay for another three days if I could, but we are heading to Vancouver tonight and I need to get back to the hotel and gather my things. 

So, unfortunately breakfast all im going to get. 

I say goodbye to Tessa at the house as the kids and Danny will be taking me back to the hotel. 

“Its been so good to see you scotty, and congratulations, to the both of you again.” She says 

“Thanks, Tess. Ill see you soon.” 

She nods and gives me another hug 

“We better get going, eh?” I say 

Danny nods and heads towards the van, the kids nipping at his heels. 

—- —- —- 

When we arrive at the hotel, the kids give me their best bone crushing hugs and make sure to remind me to “give auntie Tessa a hug as great as these okay uncle Scott?” 

Its so cute, and I make sure to promise them. 

Danny gives me a hug too, then pulls back, resting one hand on my shoulder and says “i sure am proud of you” 

“Thanks, dan” 

And with that, they all pile back into the van with promises of ice cream because they’ve been so good the entire car ride, which is true. Those kids are uncharacteristically tame. 

They wave to me from the car and drive away. 

Its time to get back to business, as great as it was, being able to spend one night with them but I have a job to do, money to make and people to impress. 

So I make my way into the hotel and head up to Laurens room, because I didnt stay here last night we put all my stuff in her room and I only took what I needed to Dannys. 

She texted me that she’s in room 421, so I make my way up there. 

I knock on the door a couple of times, no answer. 

Then again, 

And then again. 

Just as im about to knock yet again, the door swings open and I am face to face with the one and only Marcus Young, who happens to be half naked and looking awfully disheveled. 

He is a pairs skater on the tour, an all around great guy really. He is, however, the last person I expected to see in front of me. Especially standing only in his underwear. 

“Well, good afternoon, Marcus” I laugh 

“Scott.” he replies, his face going as red as a tomato. 

I cant help but laugh, this is too good. 

“Hey, Lauren?” I call out “it seems that a half naked boy made it into your room last night?” 

I hear her groan from inside and I cant help but let out another laugh. 

“Ill be back in 20, it’ll give you guys some time to sort out how on earth Marcus managed to get into your room!” I laugh, spin on my heels and head back toward the elevator. 

To kill the time I call Tess. 

She tells me about her tour and how things are going nicely, how Jeremy is in fact the best human shield ever, and how she thinks if she can get her timing right, we can see each other when she lands in Montreal for her break. 

Its a long shot and we both know it, but I hope to hell it’ll happen. 

Just to be able to hold her for a minute, it’ll be worth a shot. 

After spending another 10 minutes on the phone taking about the plan I see Marcus rolling his suitcase into the lobby of the hotel and know the coast is clear. 

He sees me and his face turns red again and I cant help but laugh, Lauren is going to kill me. 

So I say goodbye to Tess and make my way back upstairs. 

Lauren has the door open this time and is sitting on the bed waiting when I enter. 

Im about to open my mouth and say something when she stands up, punches my arm and says “not a god damn word, Moir. Not a word.” 

I sand there, rubbing my arm, trying to compress a laugh as she gathers her stuff and makes her way out the door. 

Once she’s out of ear shot I lose it. Man, you cannot write this shit. 

But I pull myself together and head downstairs with my stuff. 

We board the bus and I plop myself next to chiddy as we head towards the airport. 

—- —- —- 

Once we touchdown in Vancouver the madness begins and it doesn’t stop. 

The next few weeks literally fly by, theres no time to breathe, no time to take a break and just sit. 

Its media appearances and extra meet and greets and shows night after night after night. 

Not to mention trying to squeeze in some time to be tourists in our own county. We are barrelling ahead at full speed, and no sign of slowing down. 

Which also means ive had next to no time to talk to Tess, sure Lauren and I squeeze in Skype calls with Jeremy and T but we haven’t had any time to just talk to each other and check in, make sure we are both doing okay, eating enough, sleeping, and just having good quiet mundane conversation and the fact that we cant right now sucks. 

So ive picked up the habit of watching that video I took of us as she was packing for her tour over and over again. 

It may seem weird, but whenever I watch it I feel as if im closer to her, closer to us being together again, that we are doing this for a purpose and its not forever. 

And she’s just so god damn beautiful. 

Its such an intimate video, of such a special moment between the two of us, its something I keep close to my heart, to see how vulnerable we both were then, when I watch it I just feel so connected to her, no matter how odd it sounds. 

And it helps, helps get me through the long days, the longing for her to be beside me, the homesickness, the emptiness I feel at times where im alone in a hotel room in a random province. 

Im having a genuinely amazing time on tour, I just wish she was here to experience it with me. 

It makes it easier that Lauren and I are skating really well, just like everyone else. If we weren’t skating as well as we are right now, I know I would be miserable. 

It also helps that the entire cast has become really close too, Even though we aren’t blood and are here to do a job, we’re like a little family and its great.

The entire experience is exhilarating and fun and I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else or be anywhere else- I mean of course I would rather be with Tessa but thats already been established. 

I am, however, so exhausted and cannot wait for a few days off. 

We have the grace of 3 days off, so im going home to Montreal. I probably should be going home to ilderton, but three days just isnt enough to see everyone I want to and really spend some quality time with the family, so Montreal it is. 

Its gong to be nice though, im going to sleep and watch tv and workout and just be by myself. 

Ive been surrounded by the same people 24/7 for weeks now and I cannot wait for time alone and some quiet. 

—- —- —- 

And its exactly what I need. 

The first thing I do when I touch down is head to my favourite diner and grab a burger and fries to take home, im having a cheat meal because I damn well deserve it. 

I dont think ive eaten anything greasy in a month and its killing me. 

Then I head home. 

For a minute I almost wonder if I should go to Tessas, because ive basically been living there since we got together, but that may be a little weird so I decide against it and head back to my actual apartment. 

Its way too quiet when I get in and immediately turn on the tv. I laugh when it turns on because americas next top model is on and I know exactly why. 

The last time Tess and I were at my place she had begged me to watch the americas next top model extravaganza and I guess I never changed the channel. 

I shake my head and change it to sportsnet while I get settled, I return my bags to my room and immediately unpack and put a load of laundry on, then I head to the kitchen, grab a beer and sit down on the couch, burger and fries in front and ready to be eaten. 

I spend god knows how long sitting on the couch but when I look at the clock its past midnight and I know its time I get to bed. 

When I said I was going to sleep for a day I damn well meant it. 

I wake up the next day at 5pm. I slept for almost 17 hours. But god did I need it, I feel great, rejuvenated and ready to spend the next day and a half being lazy (ish). 

And its true, I do spend it being lazy (ish). 

I watch a fuck ton of tv, go on a few runs, eat some good food and just hang around. I obviously FaceTime Tessa once or twice, she starts her break tomorrow and im so excited to potentially get to see her. 

Its been so great to live these past few days without a schedule and do whatever I please, but its time to get back to the land of the living and start getting ready for my departure to Winnipeg tomorrow. 

My plane boards at noon tomorrow and If everything goes right I should be seeing Tess around 11:45. 

So I spend the rest of the day packing and getting things ready. She’s headed home to London for her break and I hope she gets out to see the Moir clan, well mostly my mom but still, they’ve all missed her terribly. 

While im lying in my bed, ready for the last night at home I remember that Danny is in town this week with the kids and Tessa two, same with Charlie and his family so it would be really nice if Tessa got a chance to stop by and say hello. 

I swear to god though, if Danny says a word to Tess about the conversation we had at his house back a few weeks I will strangle him. 

Just as im about to go to sleep my phone buzzes, its from Tess.

‘tomorrow, xx’ 

She wants it too, wants to see me as bad as I want to see her. 

Its everything and more. 

So as my head hits the pillow, its with a smile and the thought of Tessa in my arms. 

—- —- —- 

So im at the airport and what a morning it has been. 

My alarm didnt go off so when I woke up an hour late I almost lost my shit right then and there, good thing I was already packed. If I had been going by my usual tendencies and had not packed the night before I would have been very, very late which would have made everyone very, very angry. 

The traffic was nuts, as usual for Montreal, but today it seemed extra bad on the one day im in a rush. 

Seems that the people working in the airport today are in a worse mood than I am at the moment. Ive been snarled at, given death glares and for a hot second thought I was going to be decked by some lady working at the check in desk because I handed her my boarding pass instead of my passport. 

Then we add in me running throughout the entire airport trying to get to my gate on time while trying to avoid old ladies and small children. When I eventually get to the gate and see the flight has been delayed an hour I almost let out a scream. 

All that stress for nothing. 

The only upside is the fact im finally able to grab a coffee and chill out at my gate for a bit. This will also give Tessa some extra time to make it to my gate. We can only go up from here (read: hopefully nothing else will get fucked up today or I might explode). 

I text Tessa in hopes that she bought the plane wifi, which I find out about 30 seconds after I sent the text that she did and appears to be very bored. 

I laugh and shake my head, this woman. 

25 minutes and another coffee later i get the text that she’s landed and she’s got 47 minutes to get the gate before I start to board. Once I enter the tunnel there is no going back. 

Its going to be tight, but fuck, I need her to make it. 

38 minutes 

Its fine, Scott. She’s got lots of time. She landed 9 minutes ago, calm the fuck down. 

23 minutes 

Heart rate is starting to rise, im starting to sweat and im pretty sure the thirteen year old girl sitting in the seat next to me thinks im on some sort of drug. 

19 minutes 

Everything is okay, she didnt fall off the plane, it did not explode, she will be here in no time at all. There is absolutely no reason to worry. She’s going to make it. 

16 minutes 

Sitting is no longer an option. Im pacing around the gate, trying to listen to some soothing music that only seems to be making me feel worse? Im not sure how but it is. 

11 minutes 

Any positive thoughts I had before about her making it are gone, nonexistent, See ya never, Caio, bye. 

7 minutes 

Im not just sad about the fact she is probably not going to make it, but now im a little worried. Where the hell could she be? How long does it take to get off a plane? 

4 minutes 

Ive prolonged my pacing long enough, its time to start lining up to board and the defeat is starting to set in. She’s not coming Moir, now go get on the plane and cry about it later. 

3 minutes 

I walk over to the line of people boarding ahead of me, pull out my pass and insert myself into the line. 

2 minutes 

I scan around the waiting area again, and again, and again. She’s nowhere. 

1 minute 

Im next, and she’s not here

0 minutes 

Times up, she didnt make it. 

And to put it lightly, im crushed. 

32 more days until I see her in the flesh again and I genuinely dont know if im going to be able to do it. More and more reasons just keep piling up as to why this who thing was and still is such a horrible idea.

I remember when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse. 

Im snapped out of my thoughts as the lady at the entrance of the tunnel starts speaking to me. What she says? I have not a clue but I give her a nod and hand her my boarding pass. 

She gives it back to me with a halfhearted smile. I take it from her, take in a deep breath in hopes of repressing all the emotions im feeling right now and continue on, head hung low, feeling drained. 

And thats when I hear it, as im walking down the tunnel thing to board the plane.

Its a faint “scott!” And im like ninety-nine percent sure im just hearing things but I stop anyway because it came from a woman. 

Im so, so afraid to turn around because if its her and I cant go out and hug her I think I might actually die. I dont want to turn around because If my mind is playing some sick joke on me right now im going to die right here, right now. 

But I turn around anyway because, it could be her. 

Im scanning the gates waiting area and am slowly giving up hope that once again, the world has yelled a nice “fuck you!” At me. 

But its not the world yelling “fuck you!” 

Its the world telling me “shes here, dumbass.” 

The second my eyes fall into lock with hers I can feel my feet moving towards her. There is an instant smile on my face, an instant rush of adrenaline and happiness and I dont think I have anymore words to describe how im feeling right now. 

Im feeling all of those wonderful things until I reach the end of the tunnel, am about to take a step towards her when a hand falls onto my shoulder and a tall, scary man in a security jacket says “im sorry, sir. You cannot exit the tunnel, you’ve already been accounted for.” 

Well mother fuck. 

I open my mouth to say something back but i just nod and take in a breath, my eyes still locked with her gorgeous green ones. 

I contemplate pleading but I know its not going to work, so instead of focusing on this guy I tune him out and hone in on her. 

Even though she’s just gotten off a plane and has been travelling all morning, she looks beautiful. She’s got no makeup on from what I can see but she’s still glowing. 

Im snapped out of my trance when I see her mouth towards me “i love you” 

And I mouth back “i love you too” 

And then its simultaneous, both of us letting slow, broken tears slide down our faces as we have both just been smacked in the face with the reality that yeah, we still have 32 more fucking days of this bullshit. 

I could stand here forever, staring at her if I could. But she knows its time for me to go, so she gives me her best smile, with no words telling me its okay, and that she knows I have a plane to catch and shows to perform and people to see and that ill see her soon, so, so soon. 

I can, however, see her bottom lip trembling and the heartbreak in her eyes because we both know that 32 days is not soon, not at all. 

And that right there, is enough to kill me. 

So I do the only thing I know at this moment, I place both my hands over my heart and take in a deep breath. 

She does the same and for a split second I feel that we’re in synch. 

It may not be a slight touch, or a hug or a kiss. 

But for a split second, I feel okay. 

I give her one last nod and will myself to pull my eyes from hers, turn around, and continue walking down the tunnel, hands still clutched to my chest. 

Having to walk away from her, its the worst kind of torture. 

—- —- —- 

So the horrendous flight to Winnipeg where I spent the entirety of the trip attempting to glue my heart back together, has finally landed, and Im on the way back to the hotel. 

We have the remainder of the today off and the entire morning/afternoon of tomorrow off too so I plan on taking Chiddy and Jeffery to the nearest bar and getting very, very drunk because im sad and dont want to keep replaying the image of Tessa’s broken hearted smile over and over again in my head and if I learnt anything during my disastrous post Sochi drunkenness it was that if I want to forget about something involving Tessa, I gotta drink it away. 

So when I finally get to the hotel its around 5pm and lucky for me, chiddy, Jeff and I are the only ones checked in. 

I text them both to meet me in the lobby and to get their drinking pants on. 

Chiddy replies with an “Oh, no. Be there in 5” 

Jeffery with a “ive been waiting all tour for this text, be there in 2.” 

I laugh at both, one because they are hilarious and two because they have no fucking clue about the day ive had and they are in for something else. 

—- —- —- 

And something else it is. 

We end up at some random ass bar downtown and its fucking packed when we get there, but its expected, especially for downtown. 

Patrick has been on high alert from the second he stepped into the lobby at the hotel and has probably already transferred Tessa’s number to his speed-dial on his phone. 

Speaking of phones, we haven’t even had one drink yet and he’s already taken mine and shut it off.

“No way, Moir. If youre getting as drunk as I think youre going to you will not, I repeat will not, have this device with you.” 

Its probably for the best, the last thing I need to do is drunk call Tessa and confess who knows what. 

The first hour goes by pretty well and I explain everything that happened today because they would not lay off as to why I finally chose now to go and get drunk off my ass the day before a show. 

When im done, Patrick and Jeffery look at me with eyes wide, jaws on the floor. Then, without warning, Patrick yells out “its time for shots!” I mean im already nursing a third beer and starting to teeter on the line between buzzed and drunk. 

Three beers should not be enough to get me drunk, but when you have to be in olympic shape 24/7, it doesn’t leave much time to build up an alcohol tolerance. Especially when the little tolerance I have does not include drinking beer, then taking tequila shots. Mixing liquors is a rookie mistake, and I am going to pay for it. 

I said i wanted to get drunk, and boy am I drunk. 

Its around 9pm now and ive had more beers and shots than I can count on two hands-but why does it look like I have four? And ive forgotten all about this wreck of a day. 

So far, id say this night is a success. Im having fun, talking and laughing with buttle and chiddy. 

Its so dark in here if I didnt know I was sitting right next to chiddy and buttle I would have not a clue as to who is next to me. On the bright side, Ive actually found out that turning women down can actually be really easy, especially when they cant tell who you are because of the lighting. 

The key is to say something you know will drive them away, so I keep blurting out things like “wife at home, bun in the oven, sorry sweetie” and then an innocent shrug of my shoulders.

Or “sorry, been married four times already and im barely thirty. Unless you wanna be wife number 5 and divorced within a year id look elsewhere.” 

I crack up every god damn time at their expressions and its been a good way to forget about the shit storm going on outside the bar doors that I call my life right now. 

Im not trying to be rude and if the girls were anywhere near sober they would realize it too.

Patrick and Jeff just look at me as if im crazy, but they laugh anyway.

But no matter how many drinks, shots or how many women I turn away, no matter how blurred the lines get the one thing that does keep circling my very dizzy and fuzzed mind, though, is the fact that I haven’t bought Tessa an engagement ring. 

Its the most random thing I could be thinking of in my particular state right now, but I cant help it. 

I told Danny and Tessa two we are engaged, Tess and I know we are engaged, but we’ve got nothing to show for it. 

So thats how I end up spilling to Patrick and Jeff that Tessa and I are in fact a couple. 

We haven’t been drinking as heavily the past hour but the alcohol is still pumping through my system and Im still drunk, but I can at least form a solid sentence or two now without jumbling up words or slurring too badly. 

Patrick was just telling us about how he really thinks liz the one and he’s so ready for the next step. 

I couldn’t be happier for him. 

So when there is a moment of silence, I know its my time to jump in if I want any advice.

“You guys. Im an absolute mess. I dont even have an engagement ring, and we are already engaged! How horrible am I. I proposed to her and I didnt even have a ring!” I slur as I hit my head on the bar table below me. 

“Wait a second Scott Moir.” Patrick says “wait a fucking second. You are engaged? If its to anyone but Tessa im going to kick your ass right here right now.” 

“Of course its Tessa you dumbass.” I say, head still pressed against the table. 

Patrick and Jeff both let out the breath they were both holding in and without even seeing them I can feel the relief radiating off of him. 

“If one more person tells me that marrying anyone else but Tessa would be the dumbest thing I could possibly do in my entire life im going to kill someone because let me tell you, i knew I was going to marry her at 18! At fucking 18!!!” 

They stay silent 

“Its always been her and I dont know how many more times I have to say it to get it though all of your thick skulls but its the last time im telling you two. It has always, always been her. And when I decided to propose after our free dance at worlds, I DIDNT EVEN HAVE A RING!” 

I yell the last part and almost knock all three of us off our bar stools. 

“So, go get one.” Jeffery says as if its the most obvious thing in the entire world. 

“How? Where? When? Its 10pm and I know for a fact im not going to be able to get out of bed until at least 11 tomorrow.” 

So we hatch a plan, a drunken, probably not super full proof plan, but nonetheless, its a plan. 

We dont have to be at the rink until 4pm tomorrow afternoon so im going to get my ass out of bed by 11, 11:30 at the latest, take at least two cold showers to sober up and the three of us are going to go ring shopping. 

There are a few potential bumps in the road, though that our drunken minds thankfully remember.

Where are we going to get an engagement ring   
How are three well known Canadian figure skaters going to get in and out of an engagement ring store in downtown Winnipeg without being noticed  
To build off the last point, if we are noticed, how can we keep Tessa from not finding out. 

Its going to be an absolute wreck if Tessa finds out and the last thing I want is for the surprise to ruined. 

Its going to be a surprise because im going to actually propose, formally. I haven’t decided when or where and thats a thought for another day. 

But im going to do it and its going to knock her socks off. 

So, after another 30ish minutes sitting in the bar, continuing to plan the plan we decide we should probably head back and get some much needed rest because being hungover is one thing but being hungover on minimal sleep is even worse. 

So we slowly but surely make our way back to the hotel. As soon as I get to my room I crash, I barely getting my shoes and jacket off before face planting into the bed. 

—- —- —- 

I wake up the next morning at 10am with a pounding headache and sore stomach. 

For a second im a little confused as to why I feel like ive been hit by a bus and then it hits me. 

I went drinking with chiddy and Jeff to forget about the horrible events that went down at the airport, ended up drinking far too much, spilled my guts to the boys about Tess and I and the we are going engagement ring shopping today. 

I would say im excited but really im nervous, I couldn’t imagine getting a ring Tessa doesn’t love. I would be so embarrassed. 

But im not going to think about that, what I am going to think about right now is how I need a shower, an Advil and some food. 

I check my jacket and pants for my phone and I cant seem to find it anywhere. I need to text chiddy and make sure he’s awake and ready to go. He mustve forgotten to give it back to me last night. But oh well, not likely that anyone has been trying to reach me anyway. 

After a cold shower and two Advil extra strengths later im finally headed downstairs to meet Patrick and Jeff. 

Breakfast is just about end as im making my way, so I sprint into the breakfast room, grab two coffees, an apple and a bagel. 

My hands are completely full as I sit down at an empty table and wait for the boys. 

I dont have to wait long, im just fishing my bagel and my first coffee when they make their way to my table. 

“Morning boys!” I say with a mouthful of bagel 

“Morning scotty boy” Patrick says as he reaches around in his pocket “thought you might want this back. Seems like youre in some trouble.” 

I give him a more than confused look as he’s giving me back my phone. What kind of trouble could I be in? I have done anything to anyone, haven’t talked to anyone- oh wait. 

I haven’t talked to anyone. 

I didnt tell Tessa I was going out last night and Patrick had my phone. 

Oh, she is definitely freaking out. 

Shit. 

As of right now there are only two missed calls and a text from her. 

And because I am literal shit at lying to her, she’s going to have to wait a few more hours until she hears from me because I have an engagement ring to buy and about 3 hours to do it. 

Patrick, Jeff and I waste no time in the hunt for the best engagement ring ever. 

The first three stores we hit just dont seem to have anything that stands out to me. I mean sure any woman on the planet including Tess would probably love every single ring we’ve looked at, but none of them scream ‘THIS IS THE ONE’ at me. 

Its about 2:30 now and we have just over an hour before we have to start making our way back to the hotel and I dont plan on leaving Winnipeg without an engagement ring. 

So we decide on one last final place in the busiest area of downtown Winnipeg as our last hope. 

Tessa has been texting Danny and Patrick all day asking where I am and I just tell them to either not reply or make up something. 

Danny does the former, Patrick the latter, which I told him would not be a good idea because “its Tessa, Patrick. She knows im with you. Just say im sleeping or some shit” 

But, because he knows Tessa almost as well as I do, he comes back with “you know she wont believe me. You god damn well know Moir that she will fly her ass out here if she feels even a little bit uneasy at what I tell her. So no, we aren’t going to reply.” 

I cant argue with that because I know he’s right. 

So we put our phones back in our pockets and head inside to the last place. 

Its different than all the other stores, seems a little more high-end and classy. The staff actually greet us when we walk in and dont just wait for us to approach them. 

So when some guy named Brian comes up to the three of us and asks what we’re looking for, and I tell him an engagement ring, he jumps right in. 

This is going to be the place. 

We spend about 20 minutes talking about Tessa and what she likes and how we fell in love and all that shit because apparently by knowing the backstory it helps Brian choose what selection of rings to show us. 

“Okay, you guys. I know just the ring your Tessa is going to love. Ill be back in a second.” 

Im a little surprised when he says he knows exactly what ring Tessa would want just from 20 minutes of chatting, but hey, im going to trust the guy and go with it. 

When he walks out from the back about 5 minutes later, a box in hand and a cheeky grin on his face, I know he knows he’s done well. 

“You ready to see it?” He asks nervously 

“As Ill ever be” I chuckle 

And boy was I not ready. 

The ring, is absolutely beautiful and so exactly Tessa. 

Its a halo cut with a giant centre diamond and a ring of smaller diamonds encircling it. The band is made up of equally small diamonds, all shining brightly thanks to the light in the room. 

Its the one, four hundred percent. 

I know by the way I can literally picture Tessa wearing it everyday for the next fifty years

I know by the way Jeff goes dead silent the second the box is opened and the ring is in view

I know by the way Patrick pats me on the shoulder and goes “Im so, so happy for you guys.” 

I just know and I cannot wait to give it to her. 

After another 5 minutes of staring at how beautiful it is, I tell Brian its the one and he is so, so pleased. 

“I just knew it” he says and I laugh because it seems we all just knew. 

So I buy it with a smile plastered on my face and Tessa's beautiful smile replaying in my head. 

—- —- —- 

The show goes off without a hitch and you still cannot wipe the smile off my face if you tried. 

Actually, its pretty easy to when I remember I haven’t spoken to Tessa in almost two days without warning. 

So I jump up and scramble around my hotel room, trying to find my phone. When I got back to the hotel a few of us went down to the hotel bar and had a beer and now im just watching a movie in my bed. 

When I got back up to my room though I chucked all my clothes and stuff onto the floor and jumped into the shower, so you can imagine the mess. 

When I finally find my phone its got 5 missed calls and about 10 texts, all from Tessa. 

Then without warning, I have an influx of very, very bad thoughts. 

She probably thinks I cheated, or that im dead, or I dont love her, or that I dont miss her. 

And the last one hurts the most because I miss her more than anything in the entire world. 

So I dial her number as quickly as possible and hope for the best she’s not too upset. 

She picks up on the second ring

“Scott” she says with a sigh of relief 

“Tess, hey” I reply, trying to sound normal 

“You wanna tell me where you’ve been the last 36 hours? I’ve been so fucking worried.”

Im trying to figure out what to say next and I literally cannot come up with a single god damn thing. Man I am so screwed. 

Just as im about to try and save my ass she speaks 

“Did you do something? Did something happen?” And I can hear the hurt in her voice. Oh my god, she does think something happened. 

“Oh Tess, no, no” I say back, trying to put her at ease “I would never do anything that could hurt us or you.”

I can literally feel the tension leave her body fro over the phone and in turn, the tension leaves mine too. 

“Okay.” She says, quietly. 

Damage control time, Moir. 

“Tess, babe, I promise. Nothing bad happened. I’m good, you’re good, we’re all good. I’m sorry I didn’t call, something I had to do came up and I didn’t have my phone on and as soon as I got back to the hotel last night I crashed.” That should work. 

“Okay, I believe you. I was just so worried Scott. I don’t know what I would do if something did actually happen to you.”

I hate making her worry, I hate that I cold cause her such stress just because I was an idiot and forgot to text her when I got home last night. 

In my defence, I didnt even have a phone last night as mine was with Patrick, but still, putting her at ease, especially with this whole tour thing, is important. 

“I know, and I’m sorry. It won’t happen again okay?”

“Okay. Now I know you have a show tomorrow so you better go get some rest. I love you”

“I love you too, tess”

I let out a sigh as I hang up, thank god this whole thing is almost over. 

— —- —- 

The rest of tour flies by. 

The last show is phenomenal, Lauren and I and the rest of the cast have our best skates of the entire tour by far. The crowd seems extra loud and fiery, the whole thing seems so surreal. 

So standing there, in the middle of the ice, Lauren and I in our end positions I finally realize what this entire tour debacle was for. 

It was for growth, individually and as a pair. Tessa and I might not even be in the same province, but we are closer and more connected than ever. 

Ive learnt to skate outside of my comfort zone, with people I dont know and didnt necessarily want to get to know but its been such an eye-opening experience. 

Ive learnt I dont need Tessa around me on tour to have fun or have successful performances or feel apart of something bigger than myself, no matter how much I wish she was around, though. 

And then it all comes back to Lauren. She’s the whole reason this experience has even happened and through it all, ive realized that by putting aside my feelings and my preferences, ive done something that has made her better. 

She’s a better skater all around for sure. She has a new, commanding persona while on the ice and its beautiful really, to see how she’s learnt to captivate and hook an audience. 

Her lines have become more precise and she’s not afraid to give every lift and edge and twizzle everything she’s got, something she would not have done a few short months ago. 

She’s made leaps and bounds since we started skating together and I couldn’t be more proud. 

I didnt expect, through this whole experience to make so many memories with Lauren and the rest of the cast. 

I also didnt expect to become friends with Lauren. The first couple of shows were rough, yes. But she really is an amazing person on the inside and out and I cannot wait for Tessa and her to become closer, same with Jeremy and I.

I can see the four of us being friends for a long time and its really awesome that in the most unlikely of situations, I came out with two very potential lifelong friends and memories that’ll last a lifetime. 

Im broken out of my thoughts as Lauren drags me off the ice, a soft smile on both our faces, ready to go celebrate the last night on tour. 

And we celebrate hard, we go for drinks and dancing at a local club and enjoy being together and being surrounded by such amazing people. 

I make sure to talk to everyone individually for a bit, to make sure I have all their numbers in case theyre ever in Montreal and want to catch up, and I make sure to let all the younger skaters know that I believe in them 100% and that they can do anything when it comes to skating as long as they want it and are willing to work for it.

The night ends, im back in my hotel, watching the video of Tess and I for probably the four hundredth time this tour, and drifting off into my very last hotel sleep of the tour.

And then Its like I blink and im standing in the Montreal airport once again, waiting for my bags, ready to finally go home. 

My tour has finished a few days before Tessas, six days to be exact. Im waiting until her final show to go and see her though, I want to make sure she’s totally focused for her last remaining shows and I know having me around will be a distraction. 

Also I probably wouldn’t take my hands off of her if I did get to see her before the end of tour, so six more days it is. 

Its around 9pm and im just standing at the baggage claim, dreaming about how great my bed is going to feel when I get home when my phone dings. 

Its from Tessa and its a picture with the caption ‘ 6 days, baby. 6 days ;)’ 

When I see the picture I literally stumble backwards, my jaw is on the floor and all the blood in my body goes straight to my groin. 

She’s wearing this skin tight black dress that ive never seen before that hugs her in literally all of the right places and her hair is loose and wavy and im pretty sure its illegal for someone to look that good. 

It takes me a second to gather my thoughts and to be able to think clearly but once I manage to pull myself together I send a reply 

‘Tessa, WOW. You look absolutely amazing. I don't know if ill be able to wait 6 days to see you though, I might be die first. Especially if you keep sending me pictures of you looking like THAT.’

But I send another one because all of the sudden I realize she’s going out, looking like a smokeshow and I dont know if I can handle the thought of other men trying to get their hands on her tonight and I suddenly feel physically ill. 

‘Also, be safe, please. You look too good to be left alone and I don’t want to think of what could happen if you are.’

After sending that text off I feel a smidge better. I know she would never do anything to jeopardize us (willingly) and she’s got Jeremy there and im thankful he knows about what happened in Helsinki so I know he wont let anything happen. 

As im grabbing my bags off the carriage thing my phone beeps again and its Tessa responding to my last texts 

“ill be safe, promise. I Love you. Ill text you when I get back at the hotel.” 

I nod to myself and continue on through the airport with all my stuff.

—- —- —- 

The next couple of days are great. 

I relax and catch up with Marie France and patch and a few other friends, I clean both Tessa and i’s apartments and I make sure to stock her fridge with more than just eggs. 

I wanna make sure everything is perfect for when she gets back. Im thinking about proposing the idea that we formally move in together. 

I basically live with her anyway, ive got more belongings at her apartment then I do at my own and whenever I walk in her front door it feels like home, I never get that feeling walking through my own door. 

So yeah, moving in together I think would be spectacular. 

—- —- —- 

There are three days left until Tessas Vancouver show and when I fly out to see her. 

Ive been talking to Jeremy non stop since I touched down in Montreal a few days ago as I need to make sure everything is perfect. 

Jeremy and I were brainstorming over FaceTime last night about how Tess and I would reunite. We both want it to be something cute but also something really memorable for both of us. 

And then all of the sudden Jeremy came up with the most brilliant idea ever.

Hes been telling me throughout the entire tour about how Tessa really wishes she could skate the final number with me because she absolutely loves it and knows that I would love it as well. 

But Jeremy and I aren’t dumb and we knew that if I were to just randomly come out of the change room 30 seconds before theyre all supposed to take the ice it would be a disaster. 

Neither Tessa or I would be able to focus, not to mention I dont know any of the choreography for it and dont really feel like embarrassing myself in front of who knows how many people. 

Then Jeremy went on to tell me about how Tessa has a solo spin just before the end and that he skates away from her while she does it. 

So, instead of him skating away and coming back to her in the end position, ill take it his place and surprise her. Tessa will lose it and the crowd will go absolutely nuts. 

It really is brilliant. 

So ive spent the past day watching videos of the final number, I haven’t seen any videos from any of Tess’s tour so to finally get to see her skate without me next to her is really a cool thing. 

She’s astonishing during all of the numbers, not just in the final one. 

Her and Jeremy’s numbers are so much fun to watch, I love seeing her smile as they glide across the ice. It obviously leaves an unsettling feeling in my stomach watching her smiles as she skates so beautiful and flawlessly with Jeremy, but I know at the end of the day its her job. 

But fuck me if she doesn’t do it well. 

Her solo spin is nothing short of terrific either, I know how nervous spins make her but she handles it so well and executes it perfectly every damn time. 

I have to remind myself a few times not to just watch her as im watching these videos for a purpose. 

I have about 18 seconds to get from the boards behind Tessa once she beings to enter her spin and get next to her to spin together and into the ending position where her and Jeremy end holding onto each other. 

Its going to be tight but im gonna make it, I have to. 

So other than that I also have done some digging into where Tessa and the rest of the cast is staying in Vancouver, and being the romantic I am, ive decided I will not be staying in a different hotel, not even a different room in the same hotel. 

So I spend about 45 minutes on the phone with some random service lady, trying to get Tessa and I a single room, with one bed, and extend our stay by two nights. 

I need some alone time with my girl. 

With some persistent begging and only a few intentional add-ins as to who Tessa and I are, I manage to get it done. 

But not without the promise of a picture, and hey, thats the least I could give ol’ marg for hooking us up. 

Tessa arrives in van tonight so I have also thought ahead, and gotten some flowers delivered to our room to surprise her. 

You’d be amazed by the amount of flower shops in Vancouver that offered to deliver “the Tessa Virtue flowers from the Scott Moir?? Oh my goodness, of course we’ll do it!” 

I ended up going with some nice little quaint place chiddy recommended that has an alarming amount of flower options. Who knew choosing flowers through Skype would be so hard. 

The owner of the place is a nice woman named Vanessa, a good friend of Patricks. She offered to Skype me after the store closed so I could see the flowers, and she said she would deliver the flowers herself after. 

She was really amazing and even offered me them for free but I couldn’t, the fact Vanessa is taking them to hotel herself is already so kind. 

After who knows how long of looking at the different types of flowers then the different colours and then the vase I wanted them in I finally reached a finished bunch.

I picked an assortment of reds and purples and pinks, obviously some white and I think it looked amazing by the time Vanessa is done with the arrangement. 

She asked me if I wanted a note accompanied with the flowers and I knew exactly what to put. 

I couldn’t help but smile as she showed me the finished product, note and all. 

Vanessa said she would go over right away and drop off the flowers as Tess is getting into van in about an hour and the last thing I want is the flowers to get there after she does. 

Vanessa texts me about 20 minutes after Tessa docs at the Horseshoe Bay Ferry Terminal saying the flowers are delivered and in the room. 

Success. 

I know Tessa loves fresh flowers, so what a better thing to give her before the last show. 

When she finds them and the new room she texts me. She’s so, so happy and very surprised. 

Im so glad everything worked out. 

Three days

Three days 

Three days. 

—- —- —- 

Today is the day. 

Im flying out to go see Tess. 

Fucking finally. 

I finally get to see her, finally get to hold her and kiss her and tell her how much I love her. 

Unfortunately though, I first have to sit though a four hour plane ride, an entire three hour show and a meet and greet before she is truly mine once again. 

The plane ride is less than fun, its god awful. 

I cant sit still, im much too jittery. Every one of my senses is on overdrive and I can almost guarantee the baby behind me could sense it or something by the way he kept screaming in my ear. 

I try to watch a movie but I cant control the fact I am so distracted buy a laundry list of things. 

What if I miss my cue during the show and it all goes to shit   
How am I going to keep myself from strangling Bryce before I see Tess   
How am I going to sneak into the rink without anyone telling Tessa im in the building 

As of right now, the list keeps getting bigger and bigger and I am stressed. 

So I work out on the how im going to get into rogers arena and into hiding from Tessa and everyone else for that matter until its time for my appearance. 

I bite the bullet and buy the wifi for 10$ so I can talk to Jeremy. 

After about half an hour we have a plan. 

Once I land im going to text Tessa ive landed and thats the last she’s going to hear of me until we reunite. 

Then im going to take my shit back to the hotel and get ready for the show. 

Because im landing about two hours before show time I am a little pressed for time if I want to get into the arena while Jeremy has a spare moment or two away from Tessa. 

Once I drop my stuff off and make my way to the arena, Jeremy is going to meet me at some gate he hasn’t told me the number of yet and sneak me into one of the change rooms the cast wont be using and once the show starts he will put me up in a private box above the crowd so no one can see me. 

Once its time for me to get ready for the finale he will text me and ill go back down to the abandoned change room and ill get ready there. 

Then ill sneak out and hide behind the entrance to the ice until about 30 seconds before Tess’s spin. 

Once they start getting in formation ill slide onto the ice and to the boards. 

Then its go time. 

—- —- —-

I land about an hour later, text tess and am currently on my way to the hotel. 

I check in easy, get a keycard and make my way up to the room. 

When I enter the room the first thing I see are the flowers. 

She has them perched on top of the tv, directly facing the bed. 

I smile and continue my mini-tour of the place. 

Tessa has always been organized, her things are neatly in her suitcase or nice and folded on the chair beside it. 

She’s left ‘my side’ as she calls it of the bed open for me, her things on the nightstand she deems ‘her side’. 

Its so domestic and I love it. 

I dont have to be at the arena for half and hour so I sit down on the bed and put my head on the pillow. 

My head scrunches something though, so I sit up and reach behind me and pick up a piece of paper. 

Its the note I left her in the flowers. 

My heart swells with how much of an impact the little note had on her, so much that she decided to sleep next to it, placed on ‘my’ pillow. 

Im now making my way to the rink and im getting so nervous. Tessas texted me a few times for updates and I wish I could tell her everything about what im doing tonight, but that would ruin the surprise, so ignoring is the only option, no matter how much I hate it. 

Jeremy meets me at the bottom of gate 2 that leads directly to the change room ill have to keep hostage in for a bit. There is only an hour before the show and he has to get back right away, so he tells me how to get to the private box unnoticed and to meet him back here at 10pm, right before the finale. 

So I spend the next hour pacing, calling my mom, attempting to use twitter until its finally time to move. 

The path to the box is pretty straight forward but I get distracted when I hear Tessa and Jeremys voices as I exit the hallway I make my way over to them. 

I look behind the wall im standing in front of and I see them. Tessa’s looking so beautiful in her opening number costume as she paces back and forth. 

I lean out a little too far and I make eye contact with Jeremy. He gives me a glare that says ‘i swear to god Moir if you dont go up to your box right now I will strangle you’ 

He shakes his head and brings his attention back to Tessa. “You know he wouldn’t miss this for the world, Tess. You know that.” Jeremy states, obviously trying not to tell her im less than 25 feet away.

“I know, I know, I know. I’m just so over waiting jer. I need to see him.” My heart pangs with guilt at the statement. I could just say fuck it and go see her right now, but thats not the plan. No matter how frustrating it us. 

“Soon enough, I promise.” And he’s right, its going to be so, so, soon. 

He pulls her into a hug and says something else to her and when she looks back up at him its with a bright smile, whatever he said he’s got her refocused and I couldn’t be happier. 

I know ive got to go now, the show starts in abut 3 minutes and I can hear the opening video montages. 

I get up to the box without being noticed and im happy. 

Step one: get to box unnoticed 

Check. 

So I spend the entire show sitting up in the box, enjoying myself thoroughly. 

All the numbers are great, the skaters captivate the audience and some of the tricks they are doing are absolutely mind-blowing, and im an olympic champion in figure skating, thats how good they are. 

When Bryce come out and falls on his ass every god damn time he attempts to jump I have to physically resist myself from booing and laughing at him. 

Karmas a fucking bitch. 

Jeremy and Tessa come out for their final solo number and I know after this I have to get down and go get ready as there is only one more number after them before the finale. 

Its their Jason Derulo number, or as I like to call it ‘the one with the lift’ and of course they kill it. The lift is executed perfectly and the whole thing is just so fun and powerful I never want it to end. 

But it does and I gotta go. 

I make it to the change room once again without being noticed and everything is going as planned. 

I finish getting ready just as the skaters are taking the ice for the final number. 

Step two: get back to change room unnoticed

Check. 

I just have one step left 

Step three: get to Tessa 

And im about the complete the shit out of that one. 

Im waiting in the wings of the entrance to the ice, making sure to be out of the skaters line of sight. 

As I sit back and watch the performance I cant help but stare at Tess. 

She’s so close, so damn close and she doesn’t even have a clue as to whats about to happen. 

She also looks like a literal angel in her white dress and her hair pulled back into a low bun. 

She continues to take my breath away every god damn day.

Okay, its time for step three. 

Theyre setting up the proper formation for Tessas Spin. I enter the hallway that leads to the ice, take a breath and make my way onto the ice. 

I skate towards the boards and have about 20 seconds before its go time. 

The lights go out, and the spotlight is on Tessa, and for the second time tonight she takes my breath away at just how breathtaking she is. 

10 seconds, she’s entering the spin in perfect transition. 

5 seconds, its go time. 

I skate towards her and reach out for her just as she finishes. 

I place my hands lightly on her hips and my breath gets caught in my throat. 

Im really here, really holding her. 

One of her hands snakes around my neck, and she runs her hand through my hair, the other resting on my bicep. 

She then goes to look at me, or who she thinks is Jeremy and I can feel the second she figures out its me. 

Our eyes lock, faces so close together all it would take is one forward motion and we’d be kissing. 

She’s trying not to cry, she’s shaking and I can feel how bad she wants to jump into my arms. 

She’s trying to find the words but she cant. 

Then, the crowd stops cheering and the lights go out, the second darkness falls over the rink the collapses into my arms, holding back sobs.

Her arms wrap around my neck in a vice grip and she’s holding onto me for dear life, and im doing the same. 

“Hi, baby” I say into her hair 

She chokes out a breathy little ‘hi” 

‘Lets go, eh?” I say as I let her go and attempt to get a better look at her face, but I pull her close. 

Ive got her in my grasp now and there is no fucking way im letting her go. 

She rests her head on my shoulder and grips the arm attached to our linked hands as we skate towards the exit. 

I notice how the crowd erupts when the lights come back on, the way the cast looks at us like we’re nuts. 

But I dont care. 

I see Tessa make eye contact with Jeremy just as we exit the ice and he’s got his arm wrapped around who I assume is his girlfriend and he looks just as happy as Tess and I. 

I couldn’t be more thankful for him right now, for keeping Tessa safe and having her back through the whole tour. 

But I can buy him a beer later. 

I just want to be alone with Tessa. 

The woman drags me, literally drags me into the nearest change room and locks the door. 

She doesn’t say a word or even look at me when we get inside, she just sits down and starts to take off her skates. 

I do the same, excerpt with a shit eating grin on my face. 

I got her so good. 

Once we’re done I stand up to walk over to her but she beats me to it, running across the room. 

She jumps into my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist, full blown koala. 

Once she’s in my arms im so overcome with emotion and let out a strangled sob, she does the same. 

I burry my neck into my favourite spot of her neck and she rests her forehead of my shoulder. 

We stand there who knows how long, crying, wrapped in each other, holding on like we’re each others life lines, which at this point in our lives is not a stretch from the truth. 

Once we’ve stopped crying I slowly set her down onto the ground and just stare into her piercing, gorgeous green eyes that ive longed to see for so long. 

I bring my hands to her face, wiping my thumb across her cheek to discard the last of her tears, then I pull her in and kiss her. 

Its magical, this moment between us. I wish I could bottle it up and keep it in a jar forever because I never, ever want this to end. 

Just being here, finally back with her. Im on top of the fucking world. 

We pull apart and she looks up at me and says “i missed you so much Scott.”

‘I know, baby. I missed you too.”

And its in this one moment, that I realize no matter what happens in the rest of the comeback, in the rest of our lives, we are going to be together, and we are going to be unstoppable. 

I smile, taking in her presence and imagining the greatest future I could ask for, and its all centred around her. 

Step three: get to Tessa 

Check.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you liked it! 
> 
> final chapter hopefully coming soon! 
> 
> come yell at me on twitter @moremoir


	10. A Punch, A Moment, A Happy Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's punch 
> 
> there's a moment (or 12) 
> 
> and there is most definitely, a happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, guys. 
> 
> the time has finally come, WE'RE FINISHED!
> 
> I cannot thank you enough for sticking around with me through this entire fic and I hope everything wraps up as you like. 
> 
> i cannot wait to share more of my vm fic ideas with you in the future and i hope youll be around to read. 
> 
> thank you everything, enjoy.
> 
> *ive also formatted this chapter a little differently, i hope it doesnt disrupt the flow or anything*

I swear Tess and I stand there for nearly a thousand years just staring at each other before there is a knock on the door and we’re forced back to reality.

 

“Hey, lovebirds. Tessa’s got a meet and greet to get to in case you’ve forgotten.”

 

Tessa makes some weird face as if she just ate something awful and yells back “Thank you, Jeremy. I most definitely did forget.”

 

“You’ve got five minutes to get dressed and get your ass out here.”

 

“My ass will be out there in four and a half minutes”

 

“Thats what I like to hear Miss Virtue!” Jeremy laughs back

 

She rolls her eyes but nods towards the door.

 

“Ugh” she sighs and leans her forehead into my chest “do I have to?”

 

I pull her shoulders back so her head is no longer resting on my chest so she is looking up at me, “Yes, yes you do. One last time then we’ll be alone, finally and we will head back to the hotel and well, you know” and my face is beat red in about half a second after the words leave my mouth so I scramble “ to sleep, or whatever.”

 

Her face goes a little red too and I can see the blush creep up her neck at the comment but she smiles and laughs anyway.

 

“You can go out and hang with Jeremy and Eric while I get ready then we can figure out where to put you for an hour during the meet and greet.”

 

 

“Sounds like a plan” and I lean in and plant a kiss on her forehead and turn towards the door to leave her to get ready.

 

“Wait, Scott.” She says quickly

 

“Yeah?” I say and turn back to face her.

 

She’s got this beautiful smile plastered on her face and the lighting hits her just right so she’s literally glowing.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too, baby.”

 

And its right then and there I make the executive decision that I will not be anywhere but planted right beside her for the duration of the meet and greet.

 

—- —- —-

 

Finding Jeremy and Eric while Tessa gets ready seems to be a lot more difficult then I had originally imagined it would be. I check room after room, trying to locate someone, anyone when I stumble across an open door and hear a male voice.

 

Must be one of the other guys, hopefully they can point me in the direction of Jeremy or Eric.

 

I dont really hear what he’s saying and im pretty sure he’s on the phone or something because I cant hear any other voices and his back to me so I cant see his face.

 

Its not my intention to be rude but I need to find Jeremy or Eric because I am going to need to be entertained if im going to wait 2 plus hours to have Tessa to myself, even if I will be with her during the meet and greet.

 

So I knock on the door and start “Hey, man, have you-“ and im cut off when the guy turns around and I see the one person I had really hoped I wouldn’t.

 

Fucking Bryce.

 

He smirks instantly once he realizes who has just stumbled into his dressing room.

 

He hangs up his phone and just looks at me, waiting for me to make the first move.

 

My blood boils instantly, faster than it ever has in my entire life and it takes everything in me not to go and strangle him right now.

 

To make a really great situation even better, Bryce, by the look on his smug face, seems to think he has the upper hand here.

 

“Scott Moir! Man have I been waiting to meet you!” And here comes the act, get this guy a fucking golden globe.

 

I just raise my eyebrows and nod because I cant promise that what is about to come out of my mouth next is going to be super nice, also, I dont have the time of day for pieces of shit.

 

“Tessa talks non-stop about you, im honestly surprised she made it the whole 61 days” And he smirks back “at least thats what she told me, as we got quite, oh whats the word” and he pauses for a second and looks me right in the eyes “chummy, with each other over the duration of the tour. You should ask her about it.”

 

“Yeah, sure I will” I Scoff 

 

“What do you mean Scotty? Of course I helped her through such a tough time. She was just devastated without you around. It really was too bad you couldn’t have joined us.”

 

if looks could kill, he’d be dead, no doubt. 

 

“Someone had to keep her warm while you were away” he says, keeping locked eye contact and I can just see how much he’s loving this, because he knows I know, and he’s trying to get under my skin.

 

Well, he does and all it takes is those 10 words and I snap.

 

I take a few solid strides in his direction

 

Ball my fist,

 

And lunge, directly at his face.

 

The moment my fist connects with his ugly mug a rush of satisfaction courses through my veins.

 

Hes complete taken my surprise and falls to the floor and I move to stand over top of him.

 

“You fucker” I say, “I know exactly what you did to her and I could kill you for it.”

 

And then, the last thing I expect to come out of his mouth is a laugh, a deep, full, howling laugh.

 

Im frozen with confusion, how the fuck is he laughing right now? I literally just threatened to kill him.

 

“Oh, Scotty, Scotty, Scotty” and I cringe at the use of that awful nickname “you just dot get it, do you?”

 

At my lack of a response, he takes that as his cue to continue, while still lying on the floor, clutching the side of his face.

 

“You should’ve seen her, that night.” And he actually sighs, fucking sighs as he thinks back to that night in Helsinki “She just looked, so, so fucking good and so, so fuckable. Too bad it never got there though, but you should’ve been there, seen the way her hips were moving with the music and with the amount of alcohol in her system, it could knock a man out, but you already know that. I just needed to feel those hips and that ass for myself, you understand?”

 

Im actually speechless. Ive never wanted to strange anyone as much as Bryce right now.

 

But then, the anger comes back and I am ready to fight this son of a bitch.

 

“Youre fucking disgusting, you know, you had no right, no fucking right to touch her like that. You took advantage of her while she was in her most vulnerable state and I dont think you want to know what l would’ve done to you if I was there.”

 

The more he talks the angrier I get, my jaw is clenched tight and my fists are balled back up, ready to go.

 

“But Scott, I could just feel that she wanted it. She wanted my hands all over her, she wanted me to take control and give her what you couldn’t. I could just feel it.”

 

We both pause for a second, just looking at each other, all I see is red and im about to give him a piece of my mind when he speaks, yet again

 

“And now that you mention it, where were you? Why weren’t you there, at the bar with Tess huh? Come to think of it, if you were with her, she probably wouldn’t have gotten that drunk, started dancing with me, my hands wouldn’t have started roaming and marking every inch of her gorgeous figure, if you were there, we wouldn’t be having this conversation now would we?”

 

Without even thinking, I jump back at him and my fist connects back with his face again.

 

“You, you scum. You, Bryce, are the worst type of human and deserve nothing, no one, and especially not Tessa.” I spit back at him “ if you ever, and I mean ever, step near or look at her ever again, ill fucking end you, and thats a promise.”

 

He just lays there, accepting his defeat, still looking at me with that smug look and if I could just wipe it off his face, I fucking would.

 

“Say goodbye to her for me, will ya? I know she’ll miss me, they always do.”

 

I know there is no point at going at him for a third time so I just scoff, turn towards the door, and just as im about to walk out I turn back around and say “i hope you rot in hell, you fuckingpig”

 

—- —- —-

 

*2 hours after Bryce and Scotts ‘chat’ and the meet and greet*

 

“I wonder why Bryce didnt show up the meet and greet. What a prick, probably thought he was too good for the last meet and greet of the entire tour” Tessa scoffs as she packs up her stuff in her dressing room

 

Im not really paying attention, mostly trying to figure out how im going to explain to Tessa why my right hand is red and cut up and throbbing like a bitch, not to mention the billion thoughts running through my head about Bryce.

 

I managed to hide it during the meet and greet by keeping it under the table Tessa, Jeremy and I were stationed at.

 

Im snapped back when a soft hand lands on my shoulder “Scott? You okay?” And she sounds genuinely worried

 

I scramble to find words and attempt to string together some kind of coherent sentence “ Oh, uh, yes fine, was just thinking”

 

_yeah, thinking about how many different ways I can kill Bryce in his sleep_

 

“Oh, okay” and she smiles softly and kisses my shoulder “ ill be ready to go in a second, just have to go say goodbye to Jeremy” and she leaves the room

 

So I pace around the room, still rubbing at my hurting hand, waiting for Tessa.

 

When she returns about 5 minutes later her eyes are red brimmed and she seems upset, immediately all thoughts of my hand and impeding sexual activities are gone.

 

I walk up to her, slowly, and reach out of my hands to cup her cheeks “Tess, whats wrong, are you okay?”

 

She nods and rests her hands lightly on my hips

 

“Yeah, yeah im okay. I just didnt think I was going to be so emotional saying goodbye to Jeremy.”

 

_Oh_

 

“Its just, we got really close, and he’s done so well and improved so much and I dont know, im just going to miss him, thats all.” 

 

I nod back at her, not completely understanding how she’s feeling as Lauren and I literally left each other with a high five and a ‘see ya later kid’.

 

I hate myself at the fact that I feel a slight tinge of jealousy at her missing another man, when I fully know theyre just friends. And he has a girlfriend, Jesus fuck I need help.

 

But this is Tessa, his Tessa, who gets attached to people and gets sad when they leave and feels enough emotion for 20 people and genuinely likes Jeremy, so I pull her in and say “i know, but you’ll see him soon, promise. He and Lauren can come for dinner in a couple of weeks, okay?”

 

She looks up at me, a smile on her face “okay, that sounds great”

 

I brush a piece of hair behind her ear and yet again, get lost in a sea of green, her eyes are just so piercing and could seriously kill me

 

“Now lets get out of here, eh?” She says and grabs my butt “ive got big plans for tonight Moir, big plans” and winks and turns to gather her things

 

If I stand there for an extra minute with my jaw on the floor and there is a not so subtle shot of adrenaline to my groin, neither of us say anything.

 

She’s walking out the door when I come back to my senses and I practically run after her.

 

The shit this woman does to me.

 

—- —- —-

 

Its an uncomfortably long cab ride back to the hotel, Tessa and I’s things are piled in the trunk so its just us in the back seat.

 

She’s settled into my side, head resting on my shoulder and is running one hand up and down my thigh, drawing shapes and words and whatever into my upper thigh, she’s calm, cool and collected the entire time, gazing out the window, totally content.

 

And here I am, trying not to lose my god damn mind beside her.

 

Once we pull into the hotel and are parked in front I basically throw money at the driver, jump out of the cab, garb all of Tessa and i’s things in one go (sex does things to a man) and am waiting for the elevator before Tessa has even gotten out of the car.

 

She walks up to me, with a smirk on her face and just stands beside me, saying nothing.

 

The elevator ride is awful, she just stand across from me, looking into my soul, her eyes have darkened, pupils have dilated and I can feel the heat radiating off of her.

 

When the elevator gets to our floor, she walks out first and sightly ahead of me, her hips swaying a little extra than usual and I actually almost fall over.

 

She already has the door open and is inside when I get to the room.

 

I place our skating things on the floor along with our actual luggage, kick the door closed and walk over to her.

 

She’s standing by the window, hands resting on the windowsill.

 

She’s taken her hair out of her pony so it falls in loose, beautiful waves around her shoulders and I take a mental picture of how she looks, the moonlight reflecting onto her skin, how calm and content she looks.

 

Its actually breathtaking.

 

I kick my shoes off and pad over to her quietly, but quickly.

 

When I get to her, I lightly move some of her hair over to her right shoulder so her neck is exposed to me, i then run a hand down her neck, shoulder and intertwine our hands and then plant a soft kiss to my favourite spot.

 

She adjusts her neck, allowing me more access, and I pepper kisses all along her neck and jaw and side of her face, while snaking my arms around her waist and pulling her flush against me.

 

I plant one last kiss to her hair and rest my head on hers closing my eyes. She leans back into me, letting out a soft sigh while resting against my chest and we just stand there, her hands resting over top of mine, rubbing soothing circles into my skin, gazing out at Vancouver.

 

The city is light up by buildings and cars and the starts, we can see the ocean in the distance, in all its blackness and beauty. The world right now just seems to be calmer than it usually is, and its a feeling I want to bottle up and take back to Montreal with me.

 

There is literally no place I would rather be right now, I feel so safe and secure, like we could be thrown anything crazy, and we’d still end up together, and okay.

 

It just feels so right, I cant describe it any other way, other than we were meant to be here, right now, with each other.

 

And Im so god damn lucky to be here, with the love of my life in my arms on such a beautiful night, everything finally coming full circle.

 

This is a moment

 

—- —- —-

 

After who knows how much longer of just standing in the window, Tessa shifts in my hold and turns to face me, now pressed front to front.

 

She brings her hands up to cup my face and looks me straight in the eyes.

 

“what happened to your hand?” She asks, quietly

 

_Shit_

 

“Uh, I had a run-in with a wall?”

 

_Not convincing enough, a wall you fucking moron._

 

“Yeah right, what happened?” And she grabs my hand and brings it towards her face, studying the bruising and redness.

 

“Um, Bryce happened.”

 

She gasps, actually gasps

 

“Oh my god, Scott. What did you do?”

 

“I gave him a piece of my mind, he’s a fucking pi-“ and im cut off as her lips meet mine.

 

She pulls back first and im genuinely caught off guard.

 

“Thank you.” Is all she says and pulls me in close, and I can feel her heart racing.

 

When she lets go of me, we stand there for a few moments as she looks into my eyes.

 

I can see the fire building behind the sea of deep green and ive never been more ready for whatever comes next, whatever she wants.

 

And then it happens in a flash.

 

She moves her hand from where they were resting on my shoulders to thread through my hair, she pulls me close and diminishes the gap between us, her lips softly pressing into mine.

 

It takes my brain a hot second to realize whats happening, but once it does, I dont waste any more time and kiss her back

 

It starts off slow, as we reacquaint with each others bodies, but it doesn’t last long before Tessa’s mouth opens slightly and she slips her tongue out, searching for entrance and from there, its a blur.

 

A blur of hot, meaningful, lust filled movements.

 

Our hands and mouths are everywhere, my hands snake up her back, under her shirt, and the feel of her bare back alone drives me insane, hers are tangled in my hair, pulling slightly, just how she knows I like it.

 

Then, without thinking, she jumps up and wraps her legging-clad legs around my waist and I move backwards, toward the dresser and place her on top, never breaking the kiss.

 

Once she’s settled, she pulls me in so im slotted firmly in between her legs, which are now locked in a vice grip around me, her way of nonverbally saying ‘youre not going anywhere’

 

Not that like, in a trillion years and in four hundred other lifetimes I would want to go anywhere, or be anywhere but here.

 

We stay there, content with just making-out for a while until Tessa’s hands sneak up under my shirt and run over my chest, slowly and purposefully, which sends a burst of electricity through my entire body.

 

Then she moves her hands down to grasp the hem of my shirt.

 

She pulls back, eyes an even deeper green then I ever thought possible.

 

I nod, giving her the unneeded permission to take off my clothes [read: never ever does she need permission to rip off my clothes], but hey, we’re all about consent here.

 

She lets out a soft breath and removes my shirt, then runs her hands over my shoulders and down my front, sighing as she does so

 

I cant hold back the snicker as she sighs

 

“You okay there, Tess” I say, and it comes out lower and huskier than I intended

 

She nods furiously “oh yeah” she says breathlessly, with a smirk on her face “youre just so hot”

 

I full belly laugh at the bluntness of her statement

 

“What?” She replies

 

I just wiggle my eyebrows at her because she knows exactly what.

 

She just gives me her best Carmen stare (which she knows does things to me), moves in close to me, her mouth just brushing my ear and mutters, barely a whisper “its true”

 

My breath hitches, and just as it does, she moves her mouth down to my neck and starts planting kisses everywhere, while slowly working on leaving a mark that will be less than subtle in the morning.

 

But I dont care, not one bit.

 

“Okay, enough of that” I sigh out, “its time to get moving”

 

She laughs in reply, wraps her arms around my neck, squeezes, and presses her front into me and whispers yet again “well, Moir, what have you got planned?”

 

She’s done something to my brain and the rest of my body in this moment and I have completely forgotten how to form words, so Instead of talking (which we have done too much of these past few minutes) I scoop her up, walk over to the bed, plop her down and have my way with her.

 

—- —- —-

 

Its 3am when I wake up.

 

Tessa and I are still tangled up together, her head rests on my chest, her slow and even breathing the only sounds in the room.

 

Ive got her in a pretty solid hold and she couldn’t go anywhere if she tried.

 

Im not sure why im awake, but here I am, not planning on moving, so im just going to relish in the quiet and snuggle with the sleeping human beside me.

 

I feel as If people underestimate the quiet though, especially at this time of the night.

 

The world (or at least where we are) is fast asleep, there is no loud noises or police chases or fireworks

 

Its just nice and really gives a chance for one to reflect.

 

We’ve got a big year up ahead of us, but I dont want to think about that now, the craziness that will ensue in a few weeks, the focus and the bubble we’ll trap ourselves in. No, for right now, at 3am, in Vancouver, all im going to think about is Tessa and how she’s back in my arms and about the life we’ve got ahead of us, post-Pyeongchang.

 

Because we both know, whatever happens at the Olympics next year, we’re still going to end up in each other's arms, night after night, day after day.

 

(spoiler alert, they do, every day and night after, for the next 80 years) 

 

Its this time of night that also gives a person the most clarity, I believe. Of what they really want, or need or dream of.

 

There is no one to disturb your thoughts or tell you otherwise, this time of night, its yours and no one can take it from you.

 

But the only thing I will ever want, need, or dream of (at this moment and for the rest of my life) is Tess.

 

So I pull her a little closer, hold her a little tighter and love her a little more, because she’s everything.

 

Shes comfort on a hard day, a lover at night, a smile to brighten up the dark, a laugh when you need one, the one you celebrate with over stupid little things like ‘oh my god! Scott I finally made a stir fry!’, the one you know your going to have a bunch of kids with, and the one you cherish until the day you fucking die.

 

Tessa may be all of those things and more but at the end of the day,

 

Being back with Tessa, here in this hotel room, at 3 in the fucking morning, is being back to the one place that means more to me than she will ever know.

 

Home.

 

—- —- —-

 

We’ve been back in Montreal for about 3 days now.

 

We took a few days to hang out in Vancouver, spend as much quality time as possible and make up for the lost time while on tour before training kicks back in and every second of our days become accounted for.

 

We went to the beach, walked around downtown and spent a day at Granville Island, saw the Canucks play and get demolished by the Leafs (Tessa surprised me with tickets on our last night in town and I almost asked her to have my babies right then and there) which wrapped the trip up very nicely.

 

Seriously though, you couldn’t wipe the smile off my face for two days if you tried.

 

But now that vacation and tour is over, we’ve got to start back into training in 4 days.

 

We’ve got four days left of freedom and I plan to use them very wisely.

 

Tessa thinks we are just going to mull around the house and eat all the chocolate we can handle before getting our asses back into the gym Monday morning.

 

So when I tell Tessa to pack an overnight bag on Thursday for Saturday night, she is more than confused.

 

But I force her to play along anyway, and she does.

 

By Friday night, shes bouncing with anticipation and I can tell shes going to burst if I dont tell her where we are going.

 

I dont tell her, because I dont like to ruin surprises. Its also fun to see her squirm and guess where we’re going.

 

She never guesses correctly.

 

This whole plan for Saturday night started back in Vancouver, the night I got absolutely shit faced and decided to tell Chiddy and Jeff I didnt have an engagement ring for Tessa and technically never properly proposed but that we’re ‘engaged’ anyway.

 

I was wracking my brain the whole trip to try and figure out where the perfect proposal should take place.

 

  1. Pacific Coliseum, where Tessa and I first won gold 
  2. Our (her) apartment 
  3. Ilderton arena 



 

None of them seemed to fit so I crossed them all out within a few hours of thinking of them.

 

And then it hit me.

 

We’ve got to go back to the beginning.

 

Not the very beginning, but the beginning of us.

 

—- —- —-

 

Tessa and I pile into the car on 8:04 pm Saturday night, headed to our (unknown to Tessa) destination.

 

Shes got so much energy and has so many questions.

 

“Scott, where are we going?”

“Oh my god are we going to Vegas for a day?”

“Are we going home home for a night?”

“Why do you have our skating stuff?”

“Scottttt”

 

I just shrug or laugh at all of her thoughts, especially the Vegas one.

 

So when we pull into the Gadbois parking lot, I can sense she is more than confused, and a little upset.

 

“Scott” she sighs “why are we at Gadbois?”

 

“Youll see” I reply and lean over the consul to plant a kiss on her forehead

 

She hesitantly gets out of the car, grabs her stuff and her skating bag and meets me around the front of the car.

 

“This better be good, Moir”

 

_Oh, it will be._

 

I just grab her hand and pull us toward the front doors, where we are unsurprisingly met by patch.

 

“Patch?” Tessa questions “what are you doing here?”

 

He just laughs and hands me a set of master keys, pats me on the back and yells towards us as he walks towards his car “have a wonderful night”

 

“Scott.”

 

“Tessa”

 

“Are you going to finally tell me why the hell we are at Gadbois, why Patch just handed you a set of keys and why he told us to ‘have a wonderful night’?”

 

“Yes. Soon enough. Now lets go inside.”

 

She rolls her eyes but follows me in any way, as I knew she would.

 

I grab hers and my overnight bag and take them to the change room, leaving out our skating stuff.

 

Im setting up the room as quickly as possible because I know she will get curious and come looking for me eventually.

 

Once I finish, I take a breath, look around and walk out the door.

 

“Well, Moir” I mutter to myself “its go time.”

 

When I walk back out, Tessa already has her skates on and is sitting on the bleachers waiting for me

 

“Took ya long enough.” She laughs

 

I just smile back and proceed to put my own skates on, hoping she doesn’t notice the box-shaped outline in my pants pocket.

 

After im finished putting my skates on, I stand up, reach out for her hand and say “shall we, Miss Virtue?”

 

She giggles her famous Tessa Virtue giggle at that and I swear if I can make her laugh or giggle like that every day for the rest of my life ill have lived a good one at that.

 

“We shall, Mr. Moir” and she takes my hand

 

After 2 straight hours of skating to random music and laughing over nothing, at each other, the dumb combinations we try and doing absolutely nothing important on the ice, I can tell Tessa is starting to get more and more curious as to why we are really here, and so late at night.

 

“Scotty” she says, taking a sip from her water bottle

 

“Tessaaaaa” i whine, because she knows how much I hate that nickname

 

“Im going to keep calling you that until you tell me what we’re really doing here. Im having a ton of fun babe, but id just really like to know.”

 

I contemplate my options for a second while drinking out of my water.

 

I could tell her why we’re here, or I could show her.

 

I decide on the latter.

 

I know I cant wait any longer, and there is no time like the present, so lets get on with it.

 

“Okay, okay, okay.” I say, reaching my hands out “come here.”

 

She puts her water bottle down and instead of taking my hands she comes in close and wraps her arms around my waist.

 

Its such an intimate gesture and the cutest fucking thing ever, so I don’t move for a minute, just let my hands rest on her back and my head on top of hers, drifting backwards towards centre ice.

 

Right where I want us to be.

 

When we arrive at centre, I let go and pull her back a bit so im looking straight into those eyes, those eyes, those gorgeous green eyes.

 

“Ill be right back okay?” I say and kiss the top of her forehead and skate away “stay there” I remind her as I reach the boards.

 

Im trying to remember everything I was going to say or do when I decide to take the plunge but for fucks sake im so nervous I cant remember.

 

I dont even know why im nervous, we’re already technically engaged.

 

But its going to be real after this, and thats terrifying and amazing and the best thing I could ever ask for, but what if I get lost in the eyes (it happens more often than you’d think) and do something stupid like fall over and die or just hand her the ring and say something like ‘please?’

 

God, I would be so embarrassed.

 

When I reach the lighting panel, I turn off all the lights in the entire place except for the one at centre ice.

 

I hear a little squeal and a “Scott, come back please.”

 

Dont worry Tess, im coming.

 

When I reach the boards and rest my hand on the side to take my guards off I dont realize im shaking until I go to remove my left guard.

 

“Jesus Moir, get it together” I mutter under my breath

 

I skate back out to centre ice, taking deep breaths as I go.

 

Im fine by the time I get back to her because its Tessa for gods sake, she loves you.

 

And you love her.

 

Just fucking go for it.

 

So I do.

 

“Tess, baby” I say as I wrap my arms around her waist and she wraps hers around my neck.

 

She closes her eyes and hums back in response at the nickname (she will tell everyone she doesn’t like pet names or things like that, but she is a sucker for baby)

 

“Youve been wondering why we’re here.”

 

She opens her eyes again, “yes, yes I have been”

 

“Well, if you remember. The last time we were here, alone, in this building in the middle of the night, something huge and amazing and life changing happened.”

 

“I can recall” she replies and plants a soft kiss on my lips “it did happen to be the best night of my life thus far, I dont think I could ever forget it”

 

And ive melted, right there, in the middle of the rink. My heart has grown 20 sizes and fuck I love this woman.

 

“Me too, Tess, me too”

 

She smiles back and I take it as my cue to continue.

 

“That night, Tess. Us being locked in this fricken rink, with nothing but each other, our skates a few blankets, I realized a few things.”

 

“What kind of things?” She playfully adds

 

“A lot of things”

 

And time to take the plunge

 

“The main thing I realized that night, though, was just how much you mean to me.”

 

She just stares back at me, nothing but love and adoration splayed on her face

 

“Youre my literal everything, Tess. I dont know how else to say it. If one day I woke up and you were just suddenly gone, I think I would actually die. I dont think you get that you actually keep me alive. You make me want to be a better person, a better skater, a better boyfriend or whatever label we’re using here. You keep me whole. I hope you know that.”

 

Shes got silent tears running down her face and I know if she tries to talk shes going to sob so I continue, attempting to hold it together.

 

“You may not believe it, but ive known you were it for me since I was 16, Tess. And I know it took way too long to get here, but we’re here, and I love you with every fibre of my being and I dont plan on spending another living day on this earth without letting you know just how important and special you are to me.”

 

And now we’re both crying, but alas, I fight through it,

 

“ Ive never met another woman as amazing as you and I never will. Youre the epitome of strength and beauty and intelligence, you’ve got it all. Im so in awe of you and your undying greatness Tessa Virtue. I want you to be the mother of my children, I want to be the person you go to when you need a hug or a kiss or need someone to celebrate with. I want to grow old and wrinkly with you and go through every last phase of life beside you.”

 

I pause, allowing myself to get lost is those eyes for just a second.

 

“Im yours, Tess, if you’ll have me.”

 

I let go of her, shove my shaky hand into my pocket, get down on one knee and do the thing ive been waiting so, so long to do.

 

Her hands fly up to her face in shock and she lets out the best laugh-cry ive ever heard in my entire life.

 

“So, Tessa Jane McCormick Virtue, will you make the happiest man on the entire planet and marry me?”

 

She actually jumps, literally jumps onto me, knocking us over as I finish and is sobbing “yes, yes, Scott a million times over, yes” into my chest as we fly backwards on our butts on the ice.

 

I never thought I could feel this kind of joy in my life, ever.

 

But what Im feeling right now, as Tessa and I sit on our butts, backs against the boards of the Gadbois arena, while I slide that gorgeous ring onto her finger, is the fullest and most happy I have ever felt in my entire life.

 

Without a doubt.

 

“Oh Scott” she sobs into my chest, yet again “its absolutely breathtaking, the most beautiful ring ive ever seen.”

 

Shes shaking too, as she holds out her hand. The other intertwined tightly with my own.

 

Shes smiling her most beautiful smile, tears still running down her face, and I dont think shes ever looked more stunning in her entire life. 

 

(she does though, at their wedding, and Scott cries like a little baby the second he sees her)

 

We sit in silence for a while after, still on the ice, her head rests on my shoulder and shes holding onto my arm with one hand while the other still holds mine.

 

“I cant believe you just did that” she says

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean, that was the most beautiful thing ive ever witnessed in my entire life, you literally spilling your heart to me, it took my breath away.”

 

“Its all true, Tess, every last word.”

 

“And you know, though or at least I hope you do, that ive always been yours Scott. Since the day you first took my hand, I just knew it. Even then.”

 

I dont know what to say so I just let her continue.

 

“Youre the best man I know, Scott. The very best. No one loves like you, is as kind or as willing as you. Youre literally perfect you know. And im just so, so grateful to have lived this life by your side. I wouldn’t want to have done it with anyone else but you.”

 

And the tears are flowing again, down both our cheeks.

 

“I just hope I can show you, really show you, how much I love you, Scott. Because its with every inch of my soul that I do, it overwhelms me and takes my breath away, it keeps me going and always allows me to fall back in love with you every single day.”

 

I dont even have words to even start to think of a reply, so I answer back with the only logical thing, and kiss her.

 

She instantly wraps her arms around my neck and deepens the kiss.

 

It doesn’t last long before we’re up and standing on the ice, then shes in my arms and im skating to the boards.

 

We take off our skates and make a mad dash to the change room where I set up an actual bed this time, there is a mattress (that I brought to the rink this morning) and nice, soft blankets and pillows and a few candles and its fucking perfect.

 

Its all just perfect.

 

So when we lay afterwards, spent and breathing still heavy, legs tangled together, Tessa using me as a pillow once again, my arms wrapped around her, one hand drawing circles on her back, ive never been so thankful for that snowstorm and Tessa’s forgetfulness.

 

Because without it, the lights wouldn’t have gone out, we wouldn’t have been locked in here, we wouldn’t have been forced to talk, and I wouldn’t be here, right now, engaged, with the best woman on the planet lying next to me.

 

“Hey, Scott?” Tessa mumbles

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I love you, just in case you forgot.”

 

I laugh, pull her closer, and reply with “I could never forget that, kiddo. Not in this lifetime.”

 

I feel her smile against my chest, so I plant a Kiss on her forehead, then lean back into the pillows and prepare myself for all the greatness we’ll achieve, and it will be great, because as long as we're together, nothing can get in our way.

 

And hes right, because when it comes to them, he’s always right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's it, folks, thanks for the ride and I hope you enjoyed the fic as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> xx 
> 
> if you didn't like it and want to yell @ me, or did like it and wanna talk about it, or just want to chat, come find me on twitter @moremoir


End file.
